Conversations With an Evangelical, Part One

“Homosexuality and the Bible”

All rights © Aaron Burden, 2017

The subject line read “Homosexuality and the Bible.”

Even knowing my liberal-leaning politics and my liberation theology Catholicism, an Evangelical acquaintance of mine emailed me, asking me to “chime in” on a thread about gay people, drag queens, transgender people, and minors getting gender reassignment surgeries.

I wasn’t sure there was any point in responding.

But. This Trump-voting far-right Christian conservative reached out to people completely outside his echo chamber, to people he knows disagree with him. That’s open-minded of him, right? Objective and receptive?

I am a cisgender, straight woman. I can’t speak about homosexuality from experience, and I don’t speak for communities I’m not a part of. But as Kitty Whitemore says, I am a cister. At least I’m trying to be. I adore this term, but it also bears a responsibility beyond just acceptance and kindness. As someone who’s never been persecuted for my gender identity or sexuality, I have more bandwidth than some folx to do the emotional labor of trying to change hearts and minds. And, tragically, it is often safer for cishet people to engage with far-right conservatives and Christians, especially on these topics.

It took me three days to respond. I tried to be positive and encouraging. I intentionally used He/Him pronouns and capitalized them when referencing God and Jesus. And I dug deep. It was painful to admit that when I was younger I had absorbed modern Christian teaching against homosexuality without confronting the self-righteous hypocrisy of “love the sinner, hate the sin”. The Church was the authority, right?

I told him how enriching and liberating it’s been to do the right thing, the loving thing, and let false judgements go. I hadn’t learned about the scholarly debate, dating back to at least 1946, specifically over the word homosexual, but I thought that if I shared my own heart with authenticity and vulnerability, maybe I could at least plant a seed in his.

Below is my email response to his far-right talking points about gay people and transgender people, communities that conservative Christians all too often conflate. I’ve removed names and other identifying details.

If a conservative in your life is asking for your liberal perspective, please feel free to use any or all of what I’ve written if you are too psychologically and spiritually exhausted to do additional biblical, theological, and historical research and jump into the fray. Copy and paste it. Reword it. Add your own researched sources. Anything that might help us slow the spread of fundamentalism and Christian nationalism is worth trying.

I can’t guarantee that it will work or that it will work right away. But we owe it to those who are unfairly and unethically targeted to try to make society safe, accepting, and ideally, empowering.

My email response

Hi, friends, feel free to grab a glass of wine to read this one. I’m sharing a lot of thoughts on this — bullet points and a few stories :)

[Long-winded but sincere paragraph praising him for his open-mindedness, deleted here for brevity.]

Forgive me for the numbered list; it’s easier for me to respond this way.

1. The Bible is an extraordinary cross-cultural compendium of stories and wisdom. It was written in three languages by more than thirty authors — wow. Some scholars estimate that original parts of the Hebrew Bible were written in the 10th century B.C. and that the version we recognize today was completed in the first century — so, possibly an 1,100-year-old compilation. This always makes me think of the telephone game and makes me wonder how much is lost/altered in translation over ELEVEN centuries from Hebrew and Aramaic to Greek and Latin, German, and olde English to the modern English we’re reading now. It was compiled by mortal men who disagreed on what the word of God was — that’s why there are four fewer books in your Bible than in mine. Who am I to say which books are kept and which are cut?

a. The one word that would be difficult to get wrong from language to language, book to book, is love

b. If we take the Bible as literal in every instance, Leviticus also bans tattoos, pork, shellfish, fish without fins, burning yeast or honey in religious offerings, and says that adultery is punishable by death. Why does the Christian community laser-focus on only one of the 70+ topics addressed in Leviticus? Some Christians will literally condemn homosexuality while eating bacon and cheating on their wives. Should a married couple who have sex while the woman is on her period really be “cut off from your people” for “defiling” themselves?

2. Neither the Ten Commandments nor the Beatitudes say anything about homosexuality or transgender people. I try to live my life by the Beatitudes — the spiritual and corporal works of mercy that stem from that. That’s how I know that homosexuality is not a “lifestyle” or a choice; it is a gift made in God’s image. [His name]— we get to love people, really love them — all of them, with joy. We get to value them as whole people. When my mind focused in on the difference between “have to” love them and “get to” love them, I felt this joy and peace in my heart. It’s exciting :)

3. There’s a new-to-me pastor I like, Rev. Benjamin Cremer who says something along the lines of be wary of a religion that makes the government tools of God’s wrath and not instruments of his love and mercy. We need to be instruments of God’s grace; we get to share his love and mercy. Let the ultimate judge worry about whether or not others are sinning. I really recommend reading Pastor Cremer and Fr. James S. Martin, a Jesuit priest who founded Outreach — “an LGBTQ Catholic Resource”. Here’s a post they have specifically about homosexuality and the Bible: https://outreach.faith/bible/ This priest is such a servant of God and truly is doing the Lord’s work. Sometimes I get choked up when I read his writings. There is a Catholic magazine I’ve always been impressed by, and this priest is the editor-in-chief. He published this viral letter about Leviticus.

Yes, as Christians, we are called to serve the Lord and one another. But we are also called to joy. And when I think about the extraordinary splendor, the unending variety of people He has made in His image, I can’t help but marvel at the creativity — just the way I do when I’m watching a nature documentary or a program on astrophysics. If God created fish that can fly, birds that can swim, an infinite number of galaxies, He certainly created transgender and gay people. And everything they dream of in this life, including love, companionship, and peace in their own body, is divinely inspired.

Not only is there nothing to be disappointed by or heartbroken about, (besides the unconscionable suffering they endure), we must focus on our own sins and our own lifestyle choices. If we’re lucky enough to get to the pearly gates, St. Peter will ask us if we were kind, if we were good. If he does ask us if we condemned gay people or transgender people, I believe God will be wounded, not pleased.

4. Although I didn’t always see it this way, and I used to believe some of what the Church said about homosexuality, what I now know in my heart beyond all certainty is that God does not make mistakes. God looks at every child of His, every gay person, every trans person, with love and awe, as they are created in His image. Every last one of them is perfect and deserving of God’s grace.

5. Transgender people are just trying to make their earthly bodies match their brains, their spirits, their hearts, how they feel wired — and I’m inclined to think our souls are probably genderless anyway. I don’t think there is any moral gravity to making your body match your mind and heart greater than getting lasik surgery, corrective lenses, braces, an inhaler for asthma, therapy and medication for depression, or insulin for diabetics. We’re just trying to make our earthly bodies work best while we’re here. Our souls are perfect and beautiful no matter what our bodies look like or how we change them. (I’m using the word beautiful a lot in this email, but I really believe it.)

A few stories, if I may.

One of my favorite people and I were traveling and sight-seeing. He is not religious, but asked if I wanted to go into a cathedral. Of course I did, I always feel my grandparents whenever I step foot in a Catholic Church. I asked him if he wanted to come with, not wanting him to feel like I might start preaching or trying to convert him or something. He looked a little uncertain and was like, are you sure I won’t get struck by lightning if I walk in? He was joking but I could see a little bit of real pain in his eyes. He’s gay and grew up in a very rural community. And this beautiful, perfect child of God, one of the most generous people I know, totally devoted to an awesome NGO with his time, money, heart, resources, connections, a caring friend to many who has helped me through years of personal and professional challenges, this good soul thought that he might not be “allowed” or welcome in a sacred space. He is a hardworking married man, a devoted partner to his very creative husband. It hurt my heart so much. So I told him I’m more likely to get struck by lightning for my selfishness and my failure to use and fully appreciate all the gifts God has given me. He asked me if there were any rules, as in how to be respectful in the church, and we went in and admired the architecture and he put his arm around me when I started tearing up because I miss my grandparents so much.

On another trip, he was with a friend of his from [another country] who is also gay. One of the rooms apparently had a glow-in-the-dark statue of the Virgin Mary. It creeped them out and they hid it in a drawer. They felt like she was judging them. I told them she was watching over them and protecting them with all the love a mother is capable of. But I understand why they felt judged — they’ve been judged their whole lives.

Do you remember when [friend’s name] scheduled “The Transgender Monologues” as a club program? The performers asked that we not record or post their presentation because they were scared for their safety. That is unacceptable. But [friend’s name] trusted us with his child — with their story and their most intimate struggle. Because he knew his child was safe with us. He knew his child would be welcomed with open arms and heard with open hearts. I am grateful for that trust and those stories.

Which brings me to my last point. And this one is a heartbreaker. Gay people and transgender people are at a much higher risk of being murdered or dying by suicide than straight or CIS people. These are children of God who deserve all the same chances and full experiences in this life. No one should live with that kind of fear. Life is hard enough without people hating you and trying to hurt you for something that isn’t wrong and isn’t your fault or your choice.

We get this one brief beautiful life with so many opportunities to love and rejoice in one another. For selfish reasons, I would hate to limit the number of people who can fully be in my life. And for their sake, I want everyone to live their own best fullest richest life. We can squander our hearts’ precious energy judging others and wringing our hands about people just trying to live their lives or can live this life joyously with celebration, community, and open arms.

As they say, thanks for coming to my TED Talk! :)

Your friend, Heather

Spoiler alert: My long email did not create a miraculous transformation. His response shifted his intensity and focus from hating the “sin” to loving the “sinner” with respect to homosexuality, but then immediately started discussing the “immorality” and “evil” of drag queens, transgender people, and their influence on children.

Read “Part Two: Drag Queens Aren’t Dangerous; Straight Men Are” here

Read “Part Three: Loving Our Trans Neighbors” here