Blackberry Splatter

“You know, Ichigo, you’ve picked an exciting time to join the Fruit Club. I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily the best time, but we’re all ecstatic at the prospect of having you as a member!”

“Thanks, Momo! I promise not to let you down and to work hard to give the Club a clean and mature and healthy image! I really don’t want to disappoint!”

“Well, Natsu Nashi and I thought about it pretty hard, and we’re confident you’re going to be the best replacement for Kuro Murasakino. We really did love her, obviously, and there was something special about her we will sincerely miss, but in the end, we think your colorful personality and lemon-lime-zest for trying new things will help us grow into the most popular club at school!”

“Great! I already printed out some flyers I thought we could hang in the girls’ bathroom and maybe in the hallways if we can get permission. Also, I wanted to show you the new panties and bra I picked up last night at the mall. Check it out! What do you think? And be honest, please!”

“Well, I think those look really good on you. The cups don’t seem to be fitting around your breasts too tightly, and the liner in your underwear looks streamlined and minimalistic. The only criticism I have, really, is the color is maybe not entirely suited to your complexion and skin tone. I think you should go with a more heavy-hitting red, something bright and lurid. That way it will contrast with your pale skin.”

“That’s a really great idea! So, are you wearing orange today underneath all that?”

“Yeah, I am. But I had my mom put my bras and panties in the washing machine with a ton of high-efficiency bleach to fade out the colors. So now the tint and texture are much lighter, like a flesh-colored Crayola Crayon. See?”

“Wow, it’s so elegant! Your breasts look so firm and cushioned inside your bra. I wish my tits were as big as yours.”

“Well, you’re only a freshman, so in three years, I’m sure they will be. Worst case scenario you’d probably look really hot with saline implants. My mom has those in both her boobs and they look great — she shows me them every night before bed. Anyway, Natsu Nashi just texted me and said she’s going to be here in five minutes and to say sorry for running late. Yeah, her — she’s always late! But she’s super nice too, and very pretty — I’m sure you’re going to like her.”

“That’s fine. I don’t mind if we start a bit behind schedule!”

“Thanks for being so cool about things. In the meantime, can you help me mix the fruit salad? We always start off every meeting by mixing the fruit salad. Did you bring your strawberries?” “Yes! I picked them up fresh from the farmer’s market yesterday. They’re plump and bursting with fresh juices!”

“That’s great, Ichigo. Hopefully you have just as much nice juices inside of you as these strawberries do. Natsu and I really want you to get a lot of enjoyment out of being in this club with us!”

“Of course!”

“Now, I’m going to add these peach slices to the mix. They aren’t as fresh as your strawberries, but they’re hard enough to not get too soppy and bruised. Can you pass me that knife?”

“Here you go.”

“Thanks. Oh, that’s Natsu at the door there. Can you get it for me? Make sure you lock it again after she comes in. We don’t want any non-club members getting in here if they didn’t sign up.”

“Got it. Ugh, this lock is so weird and complicated and heavy! Hi Natsu! I’m Yuri Ichigo! It’s such a pleasure to meet you finally! Momo told me all about you!”

“Hey Yuri. You look so pretty and sparkly today. I’m so glad you could make it!”

“Guys, come over and help me with these fruits. They need to be cut up perfectly. Natsu, did you bring the pears I asked you to get from the grocery store? Hopefully they have a good, cold flavor. Also, did you manage to dye your underwear? Please don’t tell me you forgot.”

“Momo, I’m so sorry for being late again. I promise to do better next time. And yes, I got the pears — right here! Check out my new bra and panties Ichigo! They were dark forest green when I purchased them online, but now they look like a Sprite bottle label!”

“Wow, they look so lovely on you. And your breasts are even bigger than Momo’s, aren’t they?”

“Yes, just slightly. Momo has puffier nipples though, and in a more delicate shade of pink. And she has a super-tight, very sweet pussy under her panties, probably even tighter than mine!”

“Natsu, your vagina is delicious, okay — we know. Is that what you wanted to hear? Now can you please stop distracting the new club member? Please pour out the fruit juice in equal quantities into these cups so we can drink it with our little meal.”

“Here you go Ichigo. Hope you like Caplico!”

“I do. Thanks!”

“I think we’re all set now. Let’s sit down and eat and then we can discuss the agenda for today.”

“Sounds great.”

“Natsu, if you could just please pull your skirt up a little bit more, that way we can see more of your thighs and also the front of your panties.”

“Oh right. Ichigo, it’s always best to have your miniskirt pulled up as high as possible so everyone can look under it and see the contours of your vagina pressing through your panties. I know some of the other girls at school wear them low so they can show off their bellybuttons, but the Fruit Club is more focused on colors, and our bellies are much too white.”

“Oh okay. How does this look?”

“Your legs look amazing — so slim and straight and glossy. Do you shave in the shower?”

“Natsu, since you’re the Fruit Club Secretary, why don’t you start by naming the agenda items for today?” “Sorry, sorry! Okay — Agenda Item #1 — Discuss the Disappearance of Kuro Murasakino.”

“Thank you. What else is on the Agenda for today?”

“That’s it, Momo. There’s only one Agenda item for today. Unless you wanted to discuss how you got laser-treatment on your underarms and pussy last week.”

“No, that’s fine. So Ichigo, the reason why you have been admitted to the Fruit Club on a permanent basis up front rather than going through our extended orientation period is of course because we were down to only two members, which is one member below the school’s minimum limit to qualify as an active after-school club. I don’t mean to imply you somehow aren’t qualified — we are thrilled to have you and think you’ll be a great addition. It’s more that you being here was something that needed to be done as quickly as possible in light of Kuro’s having gone absent recently.”

“Oh okay. So, if I may ask, what exactly happened to Kuro? Did she run away from home?”

“No, she did not. It’s much more complicated than that. Natsu, do you want to explain what happened, or shall I?”

“Momo, since you’re the club leader, I think you should be the one to do it. Nobody is better qualified than you.”

“Okay then. Where to start? Well, Kuro Murasakino was a founding member of the Fruit Club when Natsu and I were both sophomores. Kuro was a junior back then, and we both looked up to her. The idea for the Fruit Club was her own, although Natsu and I ended up doing most of the actual work. We loved Kuro though, just as much as we loved pears or strawberries or peaches and even pineapples. As for her personality, she was super-passionate about blackberries, and always wore the most royal colors accordingly: Phoenician panties, obsidian bras, violet-lacquer clip-on piercings for her ears and nipples — you know, things like that.”

“I really wish I could have met her.”

“I wish you could have too Ichigo. Her breasts were firmer than out-of-season peaches and her vagina was always dripping like an over-ripe peach. Unfortunately, exactly two days ago, Kuro walked into that supply closet over there, and we never saw her again.”

“Are you serious?”

“Very serious. Kuro had gone in simply to get some more paper towels after we had blended several blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries together to make a smoothie. She didn’t come out for about ten minutes, and so Natsu and I assumed she was simply texting somebody or something. But after a while, Natsu went in to go and check on her. Then I heard Natsu scream and ran over to assist. Neither of us could believe what we saw that day.”

“What did you guys see?”

“Well, I don’t know how to explain it, honestly. Awash, on all four of the walls, and even part of the ceiling, was this sickening blastburn of bloody blackberry mess. It was dripping with goo, and the heat in the room was nearly sweltering. At first we thought it was some type of twisted abstract painting made by some artist who had been commissioned to rape and murder his wife and then rub her remains all over the wall. But even that wasn’t gruesome enough to describe it. I mean, it was like somebody had performed some type of demonic sacrifice and then joyfully tossed the entrails all over the walls. There was a kind of happy festivity to it.”

“Sort of like how Kuro tossed her T-shirt bra and panties into the corner every day after school when she wanted to show off her breasts and vagina? That kind of flippant carelessness?” “Well, maybe not that simple Natsu. But in effect, yes. Something about it felt offhand, almost happy-go-lucky. I can’t even put it into words.”

“Anyway, as we approached it closer though, there was this awful stench intermixed with an acrid sweetness. So naturally, we then began to assume the mess was the remaining body parts of Kuro. After all, she had vanished for absolutely no reason, and there was something about the sticky wall-guts that looked human to Natsu and me. It seemed like dark blood was cascading down the wall, pooling, and then coagulating at our feet.”

“That’s horrifying.”

“It was. But when we finally touched it, we realized Kuro’s body was actually not even a part of it. If it was, it would have tasted bloody and metallic, like iron. The red and black and purple was 100% blackberry jelly. And the rest was just shreds of singed fabric — all bits and pieces.”

“That’s right, Momo. It was Kuro’s bra and cotton panties, all smashed up with blackberry mush.”

“I know you probably won’t believe us, Ichigo. But we both tasted it afterward on our fingers. The purple and black and red: it stained our hands as if we had been trudging through a wild blackberry mud patch after a thunderstorm. The taste was cloying — unbelievably sweet.”

“Wait a minute though. Are you guys saying Kuro’s berry milkshake exploded in there?”

“No, we aren’t. Basically: Kuro had left half the smoothie behind with us before she went into the supply closet. She brought the other half with her. Aside from her purple bra and black panties, she had nothing else on her or in her except her own breastmilk and pussy juices, which were swirling around inside her tits and vagina, as usual.”

“Okay, so let me get this straight, you guys. What you’re saying is Kuro walked into a supply closet in her official Fruit Club Underwear, and then vanished, leaving behind only said underwear and a random conflagration of blackberry gunk from her smoothie?”

“That’s correct, Ichigo. We know you probably won’t believe us, but that’s what happened.”

“I’m not saying I don’t believe you! I just want to make sure I was listening correctly.”

“Thanks. We appreciate that. Anyway, Natsu and I were shocked. We searched every inch of the supply closet and then our assigned Club room. We even checked the hallway. No sign of Kuro.”

“What did you do next?”

“Well, I’m ashamed to admit it, but we locked the door to the Club room, turned off the lights, and then put a chair in front of the door. Natsu and I were terrified somebody would come in and think we killed Kuro in cold blood or something. We didn’t want there to be any misunderstanding.”

“I can understand that at least. Even if you don’t understand something, you can always understand why there would be a misunderstanding.”

“We really didn’t know what else to do. We sat around for a while, drinking our fruit smoothies, feeling sad. Then we went to work cleaning up the blackberry gunk. We were at the school for the entire night, cleaning it off the walls. Thankfully, the supply closet had everything we needed, even paint. By morning, we were totally drained — my nipples were chafing under my bra and Natsu’s normally-soaked pussy was completely dry, but the job was done, and it looked as if nothing had happened. We skipped school the next day, calling in sick, and spent the night at Natsu’s house, researching things on the Internet. What we discovered was even more strange than Kuro’s disappearance.”

“What did you discover?”

“Well, we can’t be totally sure. Neither of us are experts on this type of thing, of course. But the more reading we did, the more obvious it became: Kuro had been sucked into a black hole.” “A black hole? You mean like what we learned about in physics last semester?”

“Exactly. A supermassive black hole appeared in the supply closet, and swallowed Kuro up. It’s the only event that would explain her complete disappearance, alongside the lack of sound when she disappeared.”

“But that doesn’t make much sense to me, Momo. I mean, I’m only a freshman and I barely passed introduction to physics last semester. My breasts hadn’t even started developing at that point. But if it was a real black hole, wouldn’t it have swallowed up Kuro’s underwear, the berry smoothie, the supply closet, the school, and then the entire Milky Way galaxy?”

“That’s a great question, Ichigo. You’re so smart — I knew you’d make a good member of our club. But yes, Natsu and I thought the same thing. It just didn’t seem possible. But then Natsu thought of something amazing that hadn’t even occurred to me.” “Oh really? What was that Natsu?”

“Well, I had noticed when Kuro was blending the berry smoothie, she had put in a high proportion of blackberries vs. raspberries and blueberries. I mean, being a blackberry-inclined girl, that was normal for her, but this time it was nearly 90% blackberry, with only 5% raspberry and 5% blueberry. This made it so when the smoothie was finally finished, it was mostly black, with only very slight tinges of red and indigo. Interestingly, it was actually the exact same colors, empirically, as a blackberry itself when you smash one in your hand: black, but also with red and blue-purple hues. I can be sure of this because we learned about chromatography and color separation in chemistry class last year — Momo was my lab partner… ”

“But how does that fit into what happened?”

“Momo and I started to believe the black hole in the supply closet actuated itself in the exact same moment the smoothie was finished. We obviously aren’t experts in physics, but we do understand fruit smoothies, probably more than anybody else on Earth, having been members of this Fruit Club for a couple years now, and what we know for sure is the true flavor of smoothies does not come about until several minutes when the smoothie settles after being blended. Which is the same as saying a smoothie isn’t actually finished until minutes after it is ‘finished.’ So when Kuro walked into the supply closet, at the exact moment she entered and closed the door, the smoothie was finished and the black hole actuated, which immediately sucked her in.”

“But, guys, I’m still confused. What is the relationship between a majority-blackberry fruit smoothie and a black hole? And isn’t a black hole what happens when a star dies in the middle of a galaxy and then collapses onto itself? I don’t think a star could fit into the supply closet in our school, even if it was a very small star or even a very large supply closet.”

“We thought of that too, actually. What Natsu and I believe is this black hole already existed for several epochs of unprecedented length. It had already exhausted its lifecycle, and collapsed into a point of infinite density. It just so happened to be located in the supply closet all this time later, coincidentally after Earth formed, after Pangea broke into pieces, after modern Japan staked out its territory, and after our school came into existence. And it had gone completely unknown, undisturbed, completely unseen by the human eye, until Kuro walked in with the blackberry smoothie. At that point, its dormancy was unsettled.”

“Still, Momo, it doesn’t really answer the main question though: why would a blackberry smoothie cause any type of existential change in a black hole? What could possibly be the significance of a tiny, insignificant blackberry smoothie?”

“We know it sounds ridiculous, Ichigo. But think of it like this. Black holes suck in all matter, right? That includes, of course, light. Once a black hole sucks something in, including light, it can never escape. So from our view, it’s possible this black hole was unable to ‘distinguish,’ if you want to call it that, between the spectrum of colors inside of the blackberry smoothie in the ways it usually might be able to with any other form of matter. The phenomenon created some type of existential glitch or conundrum which had never before existed in the history of black holes. The dark red, black, and blue/purple hues were effectively the same as those of a blackberry, with its rich overtones of color, but the exact proportions of 5% raspberry, 5% blueberry, and 95% blackberry were so exactingly similar in color scheme they seemed 100% the equivalent of a blackberry even though they obviously were not. Essentially, through an unfortunate happenstance, Kuro had made a smoothie with light wave proportions which ended up having a cataclysmic effect. And the black hole, if we can imagine it for a minute as a sentient object, must have thought something like: “Well, these are pretty blackberry-like colors indeed, but for my purposes, they simply will not do.” So the black hole did something rather unprecedented in the history of the universe: it spit them right back up.”

“Right, Momo. Sort of like if you ate a piece of fruit, determined it was too sour, and then spit it out into the sink. Or if you tried tasting my pussy after gym class and I was sweating too much.”

“Well, maybe not that simple an analogy, Natsu. Your pussy actually tastes pretty good after gym class. But in effect, yes. The black hole decided it had had enough of gorging on everything in sight and decided to reverse everything it had known in its lifespan up until that point. It truly did the impossible.”

“I have to admit I’m totally floored by this chain of thinking you guys. This really is a great school Club! But I still have two more questions.”

“Ask away.” “If the black hole swallowed up and then spit out Kuro’s underwear and her blackberry smoothie, why did it not also spit out Kuro herself?” “What we believe is the lightwave patterns of Kuro’s matching bra and panties also matched the blackberry smoothie, to a certain degree, and so the black hole probably interpreted them as one in the same — as adjacently and existentially impossible blackberry objects. Kuro, however, gave off the light wave patterns of a normal human since she was just a normal schoolgirl who happened to have a really nice body, bouncing breasts, and a soaking-wet pussy, and so she was sucked in accordingly.”

“But if that black hole was already at infinite density, how could it have sucked in Kuro and kept her there?”

“That’s the only question we have left, Ichigo. We haven’t been able to figure it out, no matter how hard we think about it. We combed through several thousand peer-reviewed scientific papers on the Internet, and there don’t seem to be any cogent answers. We have no idea where she is or even what she is anymore.”

“And that’s where you come in, Ichigo. As the newest member of the school Fruit Club, we want you to go into that supply closet over there and see what you can come up with. There’s nothing in there aside from the school’s cleaning supplies and the black hole, which is now presumably re-dormant, but maybe you’ll have a lightbulb moment or an idea neither one of us have.”

“It’s worth a shot, right Ichigo?”

“Of course! I’ll do anything to help my new Fruit Club members! Should we take off our clothes before we go in? I want to make sure I’m adhering to Fruit Club protocol.” “Yes, of course. Let’s strip down to our bras and panties.”

“Great, all set. Shall I go inside first?”

“Yes — after you Ichigo.”

“Okay. Hmm, you’re right, I don’t see anything. It just looks like a normal room. Wow, I really can’t fathom the fact there is a supermassive black hole right in front of us.”

“Yes, it’s quite strange, isn’t it? You can walk around the room, and it just feels like another average boring day at school.”

“You’re right. Even the walls feel like a normal temperature.”

“Well Ichigo, now that you’re here, what’s your feeling on it? What exactly do you think happened to Kuro?”

“I have to be honest, Momo — I really don’t know at this point. Kuro was obviously an extraordinary girl, with extraordinary blackberry colors. Me, I’m just a lowly strawberry-loving girl. I’ve never even made a smoothie. So it’s hard for me to put myself in her shoes, much less the shoes of a nuclear physicist.”

“That’s okay, Ichigo. Take your time thinking, okay? We know if you set your mind to it, you can achieve anything!”

“Now that I do think about it, there are a number of theories that pop into my head. But I was wondering, do you guys think it would help if we took off our bras and panties? I know it’s against the Fruit Club tradition to remove our assigned color-coding, but I would like my naked breasts and vagina to be out in the open. It would make me feel closer to Kuro. And I’d feel more comfortable if you guys were also exposed as well — that way I’m not alone.”

“Natsu, do you think that’s a good idea?”

“I think it’s a great idea. Momo, can you unclasp my bra strap?”

“K. Do you want to pull my panties down for me?

“All set.”

“Great. So how about now, Ichigo? Any thoughts?”

“Yes. Or at least, I had some before I saw what you guys looked like naked. But now what I’m also thinking is: maybe we could eat each other’s pussies and then suck on each other’s tits?

“I think we could try that. My vagina is leaking pink-lemonade juices all over the floor. Natsu, do you think that’s a good idea?”

“That is definitely a good idea. I’m super horny right now. But my breastmilk looks strangely tinted though. It’s like it’s flowing into a small green meadow. Do you want to start by licking my nipples, Ichigo? They look like little plum-stems. Momo and I will definitely want to start taking your clothes off every day after school. I can’t believe you’re only a freshman. You have such a great body!”

But Momo and Natsu had already vanished from view before Ichigo could respond.