Second Wind, Second Chance: Mastering the Art of Life After 45

Simple Switches to Boost Your Productivity and Happiness

Photo by Bence Halmosi on Unsplash

As I surpass the age of 45, I like to reflect on the life behind me and consider whether I’ve given myself the life destined for me. Did you follow the path that was right for you? Have you stayed true to your passions and interests, or did you compromise along the way?

When I was younger, I was confident. What mattered was that I did the things I liked.

I did my activities alone or shared my hobbies with friends. I loved playing music, went to drawing classes with a friend, and joined a youth movement called Chiro with kids from my class. But I didn’t always choose the best people to spend my free time with.

Reconnecting with past passions

As a kid, I had a full program with activities and hobbies. These activities brought joy and fulfillment, things I missed at school.

As I got older and took on more responsibilities, my activities became more limited, but I found some solutions. When my children were younger, I’d like to take them with me. To see my friends, to accordion lessons. They didn’t really complain. Now that they are a little older, they are less tempted to join me. But it’s also a chance for me to put myself back in the spotlight and revive my past passions, like writing (thanks Medium for giving me that chance!), meditation, and yoga classes.

“No” to bullying

When I was younger, I faced challenges like bullying and harassment, often accepting them as part of the package in pursuit of my goals. I previously wrote an article on Medium about this experience.

Now, with more life experience and a greater understanding of my worth, I refuse to be in such an environment. I no longer need to tolerate toxic environments. Instead, I seek out communities and activities that support and uplift me.

Asserting myself

One of the most significant shifts that occurs after 45 is a heightened sense of assertiveness and awareness of my investments — both emotional and time-wise. I feel that a new phase has begun for me. From now on, I am the one who should shout louder. Louder for what I want in life, louder for my hobbies, louder in my family itself.

By louder, I don’t mean to draw all the attention to myself. I just want to be more in tune with myself and fill my days in a way that makes me feel more fulfilled. And that’s not just free time to relax. Cleaning the house or getting a new contract at work is just as rewarding as going to the pool for an hour.

It’s a mix that makes it worthwhile. I want to take care of myself, but I also want to take care of others. I want to make a difference, I want to change things, and the feeling of moving forward with small steps makes it really rewarding.

This phase of my life is about reclaiming my voice and making conscious choices about where I put my energy. It’s about setting boundaries and making sure my contributions are valued and respected.

Photo by Quan Nguyen on Unsplash

The power of community

Supportive networks and communities are a great way to share, learn, and grow together. I moved to a different country, but I couldn’t have done it without my new community: the moms at school, the friends at the gym, and the writers I met at our monthly workshop. In fact, it’s like the first thing I did: make connections and find allies.

These communities offer a platform to discuss issues such as bullying and harassment, family or work. By sharing stories, I can see challenges in a different light, discover different solutions, or share solidarity when the road gets bumpier.

Keep growing

Life after 45 is not about slowing down, but about continuing to grow and evolve. It’s not a glass that’s half empty, it’s a glass that’s half full.

It’s a time to reevaluate my goals and pursue new passions. Taking small steps to add something new and sometimes old to my life. For me, it feels like an opportunity for reinvention and rediscovery.

Marieke takes up various roles such as being a mother of 2 sons, partner, daughter, and daughter-in-law. She has a diverse background in education, management, communications, and non-profit organizations.

But most of all, she now wants to focus on writing. She writes about personal development, meditation, and self-care. She also explores philosophy and seeks a deeper understanding of the world around us.

In the following article, she outlines three strategies for reducing melancholy as we age: Three Secrets to Stop Feeling Sad as You Get Older