Contamination: The Invisible Gatekeeping of Women in Combat Sports

To be a woman in combat sports is to be contaminated

One of the annoying things people might not realize in combat sports is that the overt male bias is not just limited to things like the idea that women are not as strong as men, or their bouts aren’t as “action-packed,” as male bouts, but like many male dominated areas of life, it is also the secondary impact and access of who holds the power, and where decisions get made — the extra advice, extra ten minutes here and there, the “easy” friendships that happen in male to male interactions.

Photo by Sven Mieke on Unsplash

By contrast, men think twice about women in almost every micro-interaction. Even the well-meaning enlightened ones. Men think twice about allowing women into the fray for many reasons. There is the male-created hysteria of being falsely accused of misconduct, which, let’s be honest, they are so out of touch with they have little understanding that one in three of the women in their lives has been sexually assaulted at least once. They don’t realize how many of us have kept silent because we are the ones who get penalized by society, even in cases where the sexual assaulter is convicted. Women stand to lose more by coming forward, than they stand to gain. Going through these proceedings mean reliving the horrific events, not to mention that suddenly the victim’s entire life gets brought out for anyone to comment on as if that has any bearing at all as to whether a woman has been sexually assaulted or not, and, quite frankly, should be inadmissable in court.

Most men, probably do not know nor have ever thought about what happens to a vagina when an object is forced inside it — that it tears internal and external tissue sometimes requiring stitches and reconstruction. Y

Yet, even the good ones, behind closed doors, warn each other of how to avoid being “falsely accused.”

Men with significant others often avoid women , or keep them on the periphery. I am not arguing that folks behave inappropriately — but there is a bias here and often times men will just completely avoid women as a result.

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Others worry it will mess up friend groups or the dynamic, or that someone in the friend group will fall for a woman, and it will be her fault for “breaking up,” a friend group.

God forbid she does date someone, because then everyone gets to have an opinion on whether she truly earned the accolades she has in the sport. Something that doesn’t happen for men. If she does have a male partner, and the partner outranks her, they are often consulted even if the woman started her journey at that institution, alone, without the partner. The coach/instructor fail to view the woman one to one as they would with a male. How often are Black belt females consulted about a significant other’s level? That would probably break bro-code. By doing this, it is an example of how it is still so ingrained that a woman is viewed as an extension of the relationship she is in, and, subordination is re-inforced.

All of these behaviors make you feel contaminated as woman. Like you have cooties. Nevermind the real impact is has in your journey in the sport(s) itself(ves).

So, in order to protect your relationship to a sport you love, you make yourself small. As small as possible, in as tiny of a box as possible, so you don’t lose what temporary space you managed to wittle out for yourself.

If someone does invest in you, you constantly are policing, on high alert for the possibility that someone cashes in on their altruism. Just because they have not yet, or have not yet given a sign, does not mean years in, when your guard is down, that they won’t.

When male teammates are picked up by “sponsors” in talent e.g. coaches, Black belts, pro fighters, they often leave their female training partners and friends behind like discarded toys they no longer play with since a newer, shinier one came along. Without second thought, they will stop sparring or rolling with women when told that all of their roles need to be prioritized. And coaches, even well meaning ones, will subliminally prioritize male sparring partners and rolls, often sacrificing a woman’s rounds if another woman appears regardless of whether their size or skill level, or goals match. Instead of pairing the Bantamweight high level competitor female, with the male, they make the Bantamweight competitor, probably with a fight coming up, sacrifice her training session for an Atomweight’s first day. It would be unthinkable to do that during a male’s camp. You can’t say anything. Because any emotion you have besides neutral, is wrong.

I know some dude is going to read this and immediately reply well there’s women’s only classes, and women have friend groups, completely missing this isn’t about the social aspect but the socializing forces at play and how they relate to how genders progress within combat sports. That each of these micro forces at play add up and hold women back. Even well meaning men inadvertently perpetuate gatekeeping through unconscious bias in combat sports.

The reflection is simply that. A reflection. It is written as an observational piece from someone who has spent the better part of their life studying people and socialization. It does not say — all men suck — it says, here are the ways that biases get perpetuated in the sport that people might not realize. We solve it by first becoming conscious that such behaviors have impact and this is the impact.**

Photo by Jonathan Tomas on Unsplash

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