True love

sometimes true love comes unnecessarily; they will find you by themselves.

Deep friendship is actually the safest “biological pathway” to enter marriage stage.

14 years ago, Becoming her close friend. Joy, sorrow, happiness, sadness, nostalgia, anger, I have experienced them all with him. It feels like half of my life she has always been involved in all my life’s journey. My question is “does she want to be my long-life partner?”

Marriage starts from a friendship-based relationship gives us the opportunity to consider that person as safe-based. As a friend, sometimes we can freely share anything. Therefore, when entering the stage of marriage, we are not looking for romantic treats, but cooperation; sharing burdens, coordinating, understanding, responding after conflicts.

Gottman (1999;2001) refers to this as “marital friendship” as the foundation of a strong relationship.

We choose someone that we can talk about anything and who can cooperate in all situations. Not just kneeling and proposing like in a romantic movie, but then not being able to be serious. So all that practice is already there when in a close friendship era: if you’ve ever known what it’s like to be a good friend, that’s also what we’ll do tomorrow with our partner.

1. deeptalk > romance things

2.difficult conversation > flowers and jewelries

We dont just find a huge trees with beautiful fruits and flowers overnight, it takes time. No matter how much you water it, it takes time. No matter how much sunlight you gave it, it takes time. So, neither in relationships, it takes time. We can’t eat the food at the same day we plant the seed.

Just like what is shown on social media, I used to feel like I wanted a partner who was romantic in the way I desired. But as time goes by, it feels unnecessary. Why? Humans have a weakness for determining what they want or what they need. This makes humans always feel lacking in what they already have.

Maybe I’m not the kind of man who can give you your favorite flowers, candle dinner, or give you interesting gifts. But if you’re looking for someone who responsible, who brings you comfort, who wants to be the light on your way when it’s dark, Its me.

I chose her because of what she has within her. I chose her because I am sure i cannot ask any hopes on her. Her strengths, her weaknesses, the way she thinks, the way she behaves, the way she manages her emotions, and the way she treats me. I believe that whatever the ways, it will always going to the stage of “I accept her unconditionally.”

i hope that someday i have a meaningfull, purposeful relationships. Because being love isn’t a mood. It’s commitment. Even after our mood changes. And we don’t have figure that all out in one month.

I’m so grateful to have a life partner who made me to be myself. After all this, am i still worth of demanding what she doesn’t have?