Struggling to Write? Don’t Click on This Article

Trust me…Nothing good will come from it

Photo by Krzysztof on Unsplash

I’m back again to give some writing advice that no one asked for. For example, you are not supposed to end a sentence with “for” or say it back-to-back. Or mention “for” four times in the first paragraph.

Can you tell I’m in need of another cup of coffee?

I am also definitely not writing this article because I need 44 cents to hit that magic $10 milestone for the month.

Anyway, I’ve already forgotten why I’m even writing this article. Oh yes, I’m supposed to be giving out advice for anyone struggling to write. That’s like taking diet advice from a Cheetos addict.

I’m totally qualified to give this advice when I obviously don’t even have a point to whatever I’m making up as I go, while I type out my thoughts on keyboard with way too much orange dust.

Let me throw in some subheadings so it looks like I know what I’m doing. Enjoy these benefits at your own risk.

Add to Your Penny Collection

One of the advantages of writing online is that it’s a great way to add to your stockpile of pennies. Seriously, they don’t even make pennies anymore, which is just one more reason why you should write nearly every day to add to your collection. All of those pennies will be worth a lot of money in about 100,000 years.

Lose More Subscribers

Another hidden benefit of writing is that you’ll lose subscribers each time you hit the publish button. Eventually, you will be writing to an audience of one, which is your aunt that somehow subscribed to your newsletter while still getting her account “hacked” on Facebook five times a week.

Excellent Way to Meditate

The endless void is where 97.6% of articles live online. No, I didn’t make up that statistic. The good news is that it’s a perfect way to meditate because it’s usually just you and a few bots or the morons using AI to summarize your article.

If all else fails, throw in a random image and give your readers a jump scare. The end.

Photo by Ralfs Blumbergs on Unsplash