A Letter to myself

Photo credit: cottonbro / Pexels

Hi there!

It’s me. I mean, you. It’s us.

How are you doing? I haven’t seen you in about 2 or 3 years. You were shining through everyday, bringing joy to the people around you. You were emotional, funny, loud, opinionated, and so stubborn. You were so kind and you had such a big heart. You saw the good in everyone. Why did you leave so suddenly?

I know some bad and sad things happened, but why did you leave without a goodbye? You left the spotlight and I had to pick up the pieces. I had to take control in protecting what’s left in hopes you will come back. I know you are hiding somewhere. I have been dealing with the repercussions of it all, trying to keep us afloat. It’s been so hard, but I managed to get things done. With some help from others and a lot of work, I put in myself. It was more fun when you were around.

You saw the fun in the little things. Now all we do is study and improve. I mean, it’s good, we are humble, polite, respectful, and keep the emotions in check. It’s a good thing, I just miss your warm spirit. The one that always kept us on our toes, the impulsive side. The side that brought us so much joy. You left because of others didn’t you? You left because of him, am I right?

It’s annoying to think you let someone else change you. You were so proud of being yourself, yet you changed so drastically. Remember all the fun things we did before you started dissociating? How did we enjoy the birds, the sunsets, and drinking warm coffee on a snowy day?

I won’t keep on writing. I know you remember it all. I won’t pressure you to come back, nor will I tell you to do so. I learned to love the new version of me, because I had to build her up with the broken pieces you left behind. She is not shiny as you were, but she has her own sparkle.

I miss you and I hope you come back soon. I will keep the spotlight for you; however, it’s not mine to keep; it’s yours to live in.

I love you and I hope you feel safe in there. Somewhere. Wherever you are.

(14/100)