Dad, what if I finish last?

Dad, what if I finish last?

I often find myself caught off guard when my daughters ask simple questions about life. Questions that sound easy at first — until I realize I can’t answer them clearly without losing their attention halfway through. So I started writing my thoughts down. Not as lectures, but as an opportunity to share my experiences and opinions. Once I put my thoughts into words, I asked Gemini to help me turn them into stories a child could understand.

I’ve been doing this irregularly for about two years. It stems from a quiet, sobering realization: there is no guarantee I’ll be here tomorrow. I recently decided to share some of these thoughts here, hoping to spark further valuable insights from the community. Here’s one of those lessons — based on my experience, inspired by their curiosity, written for them, and maybe meaningful for you too.

When I was just seven years old, your grandpa signed me up for a cycling team. I remember it like it was yesterday. My brother and I were just hanging out, watching TV, when he walked in from work. He looked really happy and told us we were the newest members of the local bike racing team.

It was a total shock! I loved riding my bike around the garden, but I never once said, “Hey, I want to be a racer.” I’m pretty sure he never even asked if we wanted to do it. Inside my head, I was thinking, “Wait, did we ever talk about this?” and I kept asking myself, “Am I good enough? What if I come in last place?!”

That was the start of many years of riding my bike for thousands and thousands of kilometers on the busy roads near Milan, Italy. It didn’t matter if it was sunny, raining, boiling hot, or freezing cold — Grandpa mostly thought the weather was “good enough” for training.

It was actually kind of scary. Big cars and trucks would zoom past me just a few centimeters away. Sometimes they drove so fast the wind would almost push me and my teammates off the road! Luckily, back then, people weren’t distracted by texting on their phones while driving.

Even though it was a scary start, a part of me really liked the races on Sundays. When I won and heard the crowds cheering for me, it made me feel great about myself. It made me feel like I had done something really hard that 50 or 100 other kids couldn’t do that day. Back then, the winner got a gold medal or a trophy, some prize money, flowers, and other cool stuff.

But to be honest, it wasn’t always happy. Most of the time, I felt a mix of good and bad feelings. I wasn’t scared of the bike race itself; I was scared of how your grandpa would act. I was worried that if I didn’t “race well,” I would be in trouble. When I won, he would call me a “champion” or a “natural talent.” He’d treat me like a king. He would tell everyone in the family and all his friends how proud he was. When I lost, things got bad. Even some of the times I came in second place (!!) he would get mean. He’d call me “clumsy” and say I should quit and try a different sport. If anything went wrong, he blamed it all on me.

Even though he was being mean, I didn’t want to quit. I realized that his behavior was his own problem, not mine. I knew I was good at biking; I just wanted to do it in peace. I actually loved the Sundays when he didn’t come to the race. When I won without him there, it felt like a secret victory — like I was proving I could do it all by myself.

As I got older and finished with cycling, I realized that sports for kids should be about one thing: finding out what you’re capable of while having fun. As your dad, I’ve suggested you try different sports because I want you to find something you love. I used to think that the best way to feel good about yourself was to work hard and win.

But is that really what sports are for when you’re a kid? I used to think “participation trophies” (the ones everyone gets just for playing) were a bad idea. I thought, “Doesn’t that teach kids that winning doesn’t matter?” But then I went to the Olympics in Milan with you and saw how the athletes from Norway were doing. They were winning almost everything!

Norway is a small country with not many people (less than Switzerland), but they are the best in the world at winter sports — and not only. Their secret is something called “Idrettsglede”, which means “the joy of sport for everyone.” Here is how their model works compared to the “Super Serious” model that countries like the US and China use:

For kids ages 0 to 12: In Norway, they don’t keep score and they don’t have league rankings. In the “Super Serious” way, there is intense competition and everyone is ranked from best to worst.

The Focus: Norway focuses on hanging out with friends, having fun, and trying lots of different things. The other way focuses on picking just one sport very early and doing only that.

The Result: In Norway, 90% of kids keep playing sports and they don’t get bored or tired of it. In the “Super Serious” way, lots of kids get “burned out” and quit because they are under too much pressure.

The Norwegians want to keep as many kids playing the game as possible until they are old enough to decide if they want to be professionals. They don’t want to waste a kid’s talent by crushing them with too much pressure when they are only nine years old.

Doing only one sport early often makes kids bored or tired of the sport by the time they are 15. By the time they are 22, they might even hate it. Roger Federer,one of the best tennis players of all times, played badminton, basketball, and soccer before he focused on tennis. This helped his body learn all kinds of different moves and kept his brain from getting bored.

I raced for 13 years, but by the time I was 19, I was “burned out.” I felt like I had given too much of my life to cycling and I just couldn’t do it anymore. Now, as your dad, my only job is to make sure you’re having fun and that you’re excited to pack your bag for practice. Sports are for making friends, seeing what you can do, and making happy memories.

It shouldn’t make you feel worried. It should feel like a game — just like when we play board games at home. Sometimes you’ll win, and sometimes you’ll lose. That’s okay! Losing a game doesn’t mean you aren’t a great kid.

So, go out there and play. Try new things and keep an open mind. If you decide you want to be a master at one sport when you’re a teenager, you’ll be ready because you’ve played so many others. But until then, just enjoy the ride!