As if…

The Bwilson B-Mobile

New for 2030

The B-Mobile (Thanks to Pixlr for AI image)

Presenting the car you always wanted, but didn’t expect to ever exist: the 2030 B-Mobile.

Luxuriously appointed, yet faster and higher-flying than any car on the road.

And, it does not look like a refrigerator.

The future is about to arrive in the form of the perfect personal transportation vehicle. Bwilson Enterprises is now taking pre-orders for the 2030 launch of the amazing B-Mobile.

Featuring Vertical Take-Off and Landing (VTOL) technology, the B-Mobile can go anywhere, anytime, whether or not the roads are clear.

Whether or not roads even exist.

Automatic Navigation and Piloting (ANP) allows you to simply tell the B-Mobile where you want to go. No training is required. No special knowledge is needed.

The B-Mobile is safer than any land-based transport can possibly be, and never comes within a stone’s throw of any other vehicle or obstacle, using advanced Terrain-Avoidance (TA), Traffic Collision Avoidance Systems (TCAS), and Top Secret Proprietary Technology (TSPT) that only our designers know about.

Easily, quickly programmed by our dealers at time of purchase, the B-Mobile’s luxurious interior features Facial Recognition Comfort Control (FRCC) enabling any passenger whose data is stored in the car’s extensive data banks to automatically enjoy the exact temperature, vent direction, fan speed, and seat position that they prefer, in addition to many other thoughtful accommodations.

Voice Command Recognition (VCR) has been perfected, and the computer will hear you and repeat back your instruction as a paraphrase, to insure that your command has been properly understood. As an example, if you tell the computer, “Take me to Grandma Wood’s house by way of the river, please,” the computer may respond with something like, “Over the river and to the Woods, to Grandmother’s house we go.”

You may make any request at any time, and the computer will respond appropriately. “What is our current altitude?” “We are traveling at 8,000 feet Above Sea Level, and about 6,500 feet Above Ground Level.” “Open the pod bay door, please.” “I’m sorry, Dave, I can’t do that.”

This is only an example of course. Our computer is capable of scintillating conversation, and has a vast storehouse of humor, pathos, intellect, sympathy, snark, and virtually any communication style you could possibly want to have. And it knows when to shut up. “I love you, B-Mobile computer!” “…”

These are only samples of the vast intelligence that each and every B-Mobile comes equipped with. The safety is unmatched, and the B-Mobile is capable of safely transporting you to any destination, under any conditions, through fog, thunderstorms, blizzards, volcanic eruptions, hurricanes, alien invasions, and even sunshine. All systems are triple-redundant, borrowing from jetliner technology, and any unlikely malfunction will be instantly recognized and compensated for. In the nearly impossible event of complete failure of the B-Mobile, the ballistic recovery parachute system will automatically deploy, and gently deposit the craft onto the ground.

The triple-redundant propulsion system uses a hybrid gasoline-electric power source, which can be recharged from any standard 120VAC outlet in about ten minutes, and the capacious gas tank can be refilled at any automobile gas station.

Fuel consumption is rated at 147 miles per gallon in level flight. Cruising speed is .97 Mach. Range with full fuel and batteries is approximately 12,000 miles. Yes, there is a bathroom. The B-Mobile fits inside a normal garage, and can be driven on the street as a normal car.

The B-Mobile uses TARDIS technology and the interior becomes comfortably capacious when in flight. The exterior then shrinks to the approximate size of a .50 caliber bullet, which allows for the excellent fuel consumption, speed and range. Time travel functions have been disabled, and are currently not permitted under any circumstances. Travel into deep space is also discouraged.

Maintenance needs are few, and are provided free of charge for the first 10 years of the B-Mobile’s life. Annual inspections require you to leave the car with us overnight once a year, due to FAA regulations. The entire interior is replaced at each annual inspection, and any exterior cosmetic issues are restored to like-new condition. Buying a B-Mobile is like getting a new car every year — for free!

This is the car you have been waiting for. Place your pre-order today, and get ready to travel into the future and beyond with the radically new B-Mobile.

The 2031 B-Mobile (Thanks Pixlr)