Toxic Empathy and the Death of Dialogue

THERE WAS A TIME when outrage culture and tribal identity were anathema to American life. We were expected to feel compassion, but we seldom marched, chanted, or regurgitated mindless soundbites as facts. But things have changed. Toxic empathy — the weaponization of the noblest human virtue — is running rampant in the United States and destroying our federal republic. What was a unifying strength is now a divisive battleground. What was once a marketplace of ideas has devolved into an MMA octagon where whoever screams the loudest is declared the winner.

Why is this the case, and how do we fix it?

In this media-driven world, politics has become a question not of governing, but of how to feel about the plight of others. To be sure, empathy is essential to moral human life. Without compassion and the imaginative leap to understand others’ feelings, humans would have little moral compass, and the ethical underpinnings of society would fall apart. However, not every act of sympathy or emotional expression is morally sound. Toxic empathy is now used for political means.

Political Toxic empathy, as far as I am concerned, is the weaponization of healthy empathy. The difference between healthy and toxic empathy is intention and perspective. Healthy empathy is listening and being sensitive to another person’s plight. Toxic empathy is absorbing another’s pain, refusing to set it down, and using their feelings for your gain. Toxic empathy implies you care more than I care for others. It has made a sane democracy impossible because healthy empathy always:

· Asks, “Who’s hurting?” Then “What would help?”

· Acknowledges the pain without becoming the pain.

· Loves the truth more than the tribe.

· Puts an end to outrage culture.

· Engages with clarity and candor, not emotional blustering.

The political right has a legitimate gripe in this regard. Historically, the liberal elites have dehumanized conservatives. The Left, in other words, has considered conservatives to be an unintelligent bunch of racists, religious zealots, and economically illiterate sheep. Not all on the Left, but enough to make a difference. As such, the Left considers itself the empathetic class. To be sure, empathy alone will not grant you the moral high ground. The problem with the Left, as a rule, has always been moral judgment without humility. Liberals are quick to take offense but seldom apologize. The problem with the Left is not that it is bad. It is that it thinks it is good.

The fundamental problem with toxic empathy is that it disregards its own perspective, even when it does good. To ignore that, to not be humble in the face of society’s pain, is to fall prey to toxic empathy.

Healthy empathy requires a solution. The goal is not to give away Band-Aids but to heal the wound. It does not simply see pain as an end. It is not enough to say that others are suffering because of a political move. The rationale is to explain that the move causes suffering. To be sure, it is fine to say that the move does not need to be made, but that is not enough.

Conservatives and liberals are using empathy against each other. Each sees the other as wrong and sets out to delegitimize that wrongness. The world has always had this problem, so it will not go away, but it is up to people of reasonable goodwill to try and work through the issues. Toxic empathy is, as I have said, the end of the world as we know it. If we do not stand against it, there will be no future.