Struggling to Believe

I still pray still try to hold on to those good Christian values. But I’m becoming increasingly aware of the nastiness of our world. Catastrophes, genocide, murder diseases and “Christians” speaking and acting the most unChrist like I’ve ever seen.

This has lead me to asking questions like why doesn’t God make overt miracles like biblical times. Why so much unnecessary suffering, i don’t think free will is an excuse tbh especially when our God is all powerful and can snap a finger .

The biggest reason Christians fail to be a model and inspiration like the light and salt of God is that instead of living a Christ-like life by bearing their own cross according to God’s will and following the love of Christ, they follow the desires of the flesh aimed only at their own happiness, success, and prosperity. This flesh-driven faith perpetually generates insatiable desires, which lead to greed that begets sin, and sin that leads to death. The outcome is that Christians, who are indistinguishable from non-believers, adherents of all religions, and everyone else, are all the same because their religious faith and practices are aimed solely at personal happiness, success, and prosperity. There is no one seeking God’s will, and just as the scripture says in 2 Corinthians 7:10 that ‘worldly sorrow brings death,’ the concerns of the world lead to problems at work, in business, at home, with children, in relationships, with health — all resulting in prayers that are no different from those of secular people. This kind of Christianity that continues to spread leads to utter devastation.

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.(1 John 2 : 16)

Far from being a model and inspiration, Christians have become thoroughly corrupt and rotten, spreading foul odors throughout the world, leading inevitably to judgment. The fruits of Christians are uniformly deceptive, marked by a duplicity of cunning diplomacy, with words and actions differing. Today’s Christian faith, which merely focuses on self-reliance, awakening, and resolutions, and emphasizes sermons that teach and learn such, inevitably invites judgment. A Christian is not a follower of Christ. Because they do not live the life of Christ, they are bound to repeat sin until death due to following a fleshly life. It is not the truth that allows escaping the cycle of sin through God’s power but rather a reliance on self-awakening, resolution, and self-reliance sparked by emotional words. This results in pride and arrogance, growing bad habits that absolutize oneself rather than relying on God, making the Christian teachings and inspirations a cause for judgment. We live in a time of judgment and the end times, where Christians are more rough, harsh, and problematic than the worldly people.

Christians bear no fruit of Christ. Their faith is merely a theoretical belief of words and theory, and their life is no different from that of worldly people, chasing only secular hopes, ideals, and happiness for their own worldly desires and greed. Therefore, they cannot escape the habit of sinning again even while repenting, perpetually trapped in a cycle of committing sins again.

Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight. And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment. And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us.(1 John 3 : 21–24)

Miracles occur only in the presence of those who carry the love of the cross and are blameless before a perfect and complete God, for them nothing is impossible. However, today’s Christians continue to live a life of the flesh, doomed to repeat the vicious cycle of sinning, repenting, and sinning again, and thus they teach and learn that nothing is impossible. Both the teachers and learners continue to repeat sins due to their fleshly faith, which appears as if God’s power and miracles are manifesting, when in fact God’s miracles do not occur as in the times of the Bible because we are not blameless before God, as mentioned above. Even pastors who teach today that nothing is impossible are unable to manifest these impossible miracles because they are blind leading the blind, trapped in the cycle of sin due to their fleshly beliefs, and thus God’s power and miracles do not appear. In other words, the illusion that Christians are followers of Christ is nothing but a grand delusion and the height of arrogance. The Christian life, not being lived while merely pursuing their own fleshly, worldly happiness, success, and ideals, inevitably leads to the continual repetition of sin, which is the reality and limit of Christians. The path to becoming a true follower of Christ is long and arduous. Just attending church and praying as if one is a child of God is an illusion and arrogance, rationalizing and excusing one’s repeated sins within Christianity, which is why they cannot be the light and salt, the example and inspiration. The love spoken of in Christianity is merely hypocrisy and pretense used to boast and propagate one’s religion, similar to all other religions; it is nothing but false service and aid. The love of the cross is a love that sacrifices one’s entire life, ideals, and even life itself. This love does not exist in humans. Therefore, we must seek through tears of prayer that are worthy of receiving the love of the cross, the tears to love all before God. Christ’s love starts from self-sacrifice and pursues divine nature, power, and wisdom. The emotional impact of words that only cause awakening, resolution, and decision-making through human intelligence and knowledge is human teaching and leaven. A lifetime of such human teaching and emotion that causes only personal awakening and resolutions disappears as soon as one turns away; it is not God’s teaching, emotion, or truth. The truth is the divine power that enables us to overcome human limitations, which inevitably lead us to sin even after awakening, resolving, and deciding. The emotional impact of words is only leaven, deceit, and schemes, the knowledge of Satan, not inspired by God’s power. God’s true inspiration is not the emotional impact of words or the teachings of sermons that only cause self-reliance, awakening, and decisions. It is the power of God itself. The truth is about obtaining God’s authority to overcome our evil habits and body that cannot be transformed, reborn, or changed by a lifetime of awakening, resolutions, and decisions. Truth is not words, but power.

For the kingdom of God is not in word, but in power.(1 Corinthians 4 : 20)

That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.(1 Corinthians 2 :5)

The result of Christianity that follows only the emotional impact of words and theories is worse than that of worldly people. Therefore, Christians who fail to be the light and salt, the example and inspiration, are not true followers of Christ. Do not be mistaken, do not be arrogant. All Christians who lack the fragrance of Christ’s love, pursuing it, have a dead faith, a fleshly faith that can only repeat sin.

Behold Israel after the flesh: are not they which eat of the sacrifices partakers of the alter? What say I then? that the idol is any thing, or that which is offered in sacrifice to idols is any thing? But I say, that the things which the Gentiles sacrifice, they sacrifice to devils, and not to God: and I would not that ye should have fellowship with devils. Ye cannot drink the cup of the Lord, and the cup of devils: ye cannot be partakers of the Lord’s table, and of the table of devils.(1 Corinthians 10 : 14–21)

People who seek the things of the world are governed by the god of the world, those who seek material wealth are governed by the god of material, those who pursue lust are governed by the god of lust, and those who pursue carnal desires are governed by the god of carnality. They act as though they are working like God or Christ, but it is not God who is working in them. Therefore, all believers who seek their own lustful happiness, success, and prosperity are in fact being influenced by Satan and demons disguised as God.

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.(1 John 2 : 15–16)

Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.(James 4 : 3–4)

For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.(2 Corinthians 7 : 10)

The warning, ‘Do not take my name in vain, for I will not hold him guiltless who does so,’ is directed at those who seek worldly desires and greed. I hope you become a precious person who acquires God’s love, able to pray before God with tears for your poor and pitiful brothers and sisters.

In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.(2 Corinthians 4 : 4)

Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God.(2 Corinthians 2 : 12)

Because they are Christians who do not read the Bible, relying only on the sermons of false shepherds who stray from the Scriptures, Christians have become a religion that completely deviates from God’s holy will and mocks the love of the cross, becoming adversaries and enemies. Religion, being a human creation, cannot transcend human limitations. Only the gift of power that receives the love of Christ following God’s will can solve all these problems. Only those who aim for Christ’s love and possess the hope of Christ can escape the cycle of sinning and repenting, only to sin again.

I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.(Romans 7 : 25)

Because the blind lead the blind, it is impossible to escape the habit of repeatedly sinning throughout one’s life. The command to repent in the Scriptures refers to the grace that allows us to break free from this cycle of habitual sin. With the flesh, there is only sin because the desires of the flesh lead to greed, which gives birth to sin, and sin leads to death. Repent, for judgment is at hand.

Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh. For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.(Romans 8 : 12–14)

That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Esaias the prophet, saying, Behold my servant, whom I have chosen; my beloved, in whom my soul is well pleased: I will put my spirit upon him, and he shall shew judgment to the Gentiles. He shall not strive, nor cry; neither shall any man hear his voice in the streets. A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench, till he send forth judgment unto victory. And in his name shall the Gentiles trust.(Matthew 12 : 17–21)

But in the days of the voice of the seventh angel, when he shall begin to sound, the mystery of God should be finished, as he hath declared to his servants the prophets. And the voice which I heard from heaven spake unto me again, and said, Go and take the little book which is open in the hand of the angel which standeth upon the sea and upon the earth. And I went unto the angel, and said unto him, Give me the little book. And he said unto me, Take it, and eat it up; and it shall make thy belly bitter, but it shall be in thy mouth sweet as honey. And I took the little book out of the angel’s hand, and ate it up; and it was in my mouth sweet as honey: and as soon as I had eaten it, my belly was bitter. And he said unto me, Thou must prophesy again before many peoples, and nations, and tongues, and kings.(Revelation 10 : 7–11)

And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come.(Matthew 24 : 14)