Illumination

THE SCIENTIST WHO BROKE THE MOLD

A Study in Authenticity: What a Master of Science can teach us about the heart.

Alex Hyde and the author (Photo by Alex)

Mean Girls (and boys)

We have all known at least one. Some of us have dreaded seeing them each day because they stepped all over us in school. Then you grow up, and they are in your workplace, looking down on you, teasing you, ignoring you, or worse yet, supervising you. You are not included in the meetings, at the lunch table, or on the weekends. They take the best assignments, and the boss is wrapped around their pinkies.

There are TV shows and movies about Mean Girls (and the high school jocks who ignore you). Popularity is important even when you grow up.

I suffered throughout my school years. We moved often, and I did not have time to make or keep friends. I have ADHD and am not good at reading social cues. In all my photos of birthday parties, there were lots of kids. However, I remember being snubbed by girls in class and being teased by boys. I would bring gifts for the girls, costume jewelry that my father gave me, trying to buy their friendship.

I took dance classes when I was growing up. My mother wanted to help me with my popularity, though it did not do a darn bit of good. But I still loved dancing, though I was awkward and could not always remember the steps.

The author and Alex Hyde at Ocho’s in Boise, ID (Photo by Ocho’s host)

Being an adult did not change anything

Itook a few classes as an adult, then at 65, I decided to try Salsa and Bachata. The steps were a little difficult, but I enjoyed the class. We had social dancing on alternate Friday nights. Everyone sat on folding chairs, waiting for someone to ask them to dance.

Guess who usually sat around on the folding chairs waiting? Time stood still in Boise, Idaho. There were mostly women in the class, and they were mostly over thirty. They filled those folding chairs. Because I was one of those women, I was left sitting more than I wanted to, so I started dancing by myself.

I longed to social dance more than twice a month. I heard that people from the class went to a club. The Mormon teacher did not discuss it, but I heard whispers from some people in the class, and I finally butted in and asked. They told me they went to Ocho’s, a club in downtown Boise.

That is what I am talking about. I was not one of the “in crowd.” These were people who did not include me, and I had to insert myself into a conversation to find out where they were going to dance. Even then, they did not invite me to go with them. People do not change just because they grow up. I'd be willing to bet the people like me felt left out around the people like them in high school.

Alex Hyde dancing with our mutual friend and Boise chef, Kevin Posada, at Ocho's (Video stills by the author)

That's Alex Hyde

I do not remember how long it was before I was invited to sit with them, but eventually someone asked. Then I started saving a table for our group, and after a couple of weeks, I began to feel like part of the group. Still, there was a gap. A few people would come early and sit elsewhere. They would not dance with me either. I was new, and only a few of the good dancers would dance with me, including dancers from our school and dancers at Ocho’s. It was a very cliquish situation. That is, until Alex.

Alex Hyde was clearly a popular woman, pretty, elegant, and absolutely the best dancer there. Everyone wanted to dance with her, men and women included. The best dancers from my school knew her name. “ That's Alex Hyde,” they would say when asked, as if everyone should know that.

I never dreamed she would dance with me. I watched her dance with the good dancers at my table. I was sitting with a group from my class, some of them instructors, most of them more senior dancers than I. One of them was very warm and friendly to me. She introduced me to Alex, and when I moved away from the table to sit with someone else I knew, she sent Alex to ask me to dance.

Alex Hyde dancing a salsa with our mutual friend and Boise chef, Kevin Posada, at Ocho’s (Video stills by the author)

The Dancing Queen was my fairy godmother

The first time I danced with Alex did not make me popular, but dancing regularly with Alex did. People started speaking to me and asking me to dance, and I knew it was only because of Alex. That is why I call her the Dancing Queen.

I was so flustered the first time Alex asked me to dance. I asked if she realized I was new. Whatever she said, she brushed off any of my concerns and led me like the champion she was. She could lead, she could follow, and she could make the most nervous student feel at ease. I did not realize at the time that she had been a teacher. She certainly covered up any of my mistakes and made me feel like I was keeping up!

When Alex began to seek me out whenever she went to Ocho’s, the dance world opened up for me. Other good dancers started asking me to dance. People in my class started asking me, “Who is she?” and “ How do you know her?” Once I knew Alex better, I encouraged them to ask her to dance because Alex loves to dance with everyone. I started making more friends than someone with ADHD and no social graces has any right.

Alex and her boyfriend, Eric (last name withheld upon request), are holding one of my rabbits, Charlene (last name withheld upon request) (Photo by the author)

Friendship and leaf sheep

As we occasionally found ourselves resting and watching other dancers together, I talked to Alex and learned more about her. A friendship grew. We coordinated our dance outfits over the phone. She invited me to her birthday party. She helped me move. I invited her and her boyfriend, Eric, for dinner. Alex and her gotcha dog, Holly, came to visit, and we all three played in the snow. I visited her first house, Casita. Then she said goodbye when she set off with Eric to travel the country.

Dancing is over for me now, but Alex and I have stayed in touch. I wanted to write a tribute to this multifaceted gem of a woman and tell you her story.

Alex earned her master’s degree in medical laboratory science from Boise State University and now works as a Medical Laboratory Scientist/Technician (MLS). While she was in school, she developed a deep appreciation for nature. I commissioned a piece of art for her birthday, a Leaf Sheep, which she posted on social media.

“They resemble farm animals, act like plants, and live in the sea. They can be found in the shallow marine waters of Japan, Indonesia, and the Philippines. They are called Leaf Sheep.”

https://www.worldwildlife.org/news/magazine/fall-2025/meet-the-costasiella-sea-slug-an-animal-that-can-photosynthesize/

So beautiful! Her social media was covered with such tidbits.

Eric, Alex, and their family (Photo by Jeni Bennett)

A dog introduced her

Before she graduated, she intended to begin her working career traveling, but did not know she would have a traveling partner and a life partner to begin her journey.

Her rescue dog, Holly, dragged her to meet her future partner, Eric, and his two dogs at a dog park (sadly, one of his dogs passed away recently). Eric is a traveling nurse. The future team was already working in the same hospital, but it took a dog to introduce them. Two smoothies and a couple of dates later, the path to an RV with a cactus as a Christmas tree was in view.

Alex had just purchased her first house when I met her. One of the toughest parts of leaving was finding a caretaker. Friends helped her renovate Casita, a beautiful little old house. Saying goodbye to it was like saying goodbye to a person she loved.

Alex said goodbye to numerous friends. She grew up in Kuna, just a few miles from Boise, but did most of her dancing and schooling in Boise. She gathered friends from everywhere.

Alex (Photo by Jeni Bennett)

The modest scientist

Alex has been dancing for 16 years. She started with ballroom, then belly dancing, followed by Latin social dancing. She also taught dancing. She taught Eric to dance before they left. On the road, they try salsa dancing whenever there is a social in a large city. So far, they have danced in South Carolina, Alabama, and Florida.

Alex works in the hospital laboratory. When she described her job to me, she was too modest. According to the Mayo Clinic, an “estimated 60 to 70 percent of all decisions regarding a patient’s diagnosis, treatment, hospital admission, and discharge are based on the results of the tests medical laboratory scientists perform.”

“Medical laboratory scientists collaborate very closely with physicians…in diagnosing and monitoring disease processes, as well as monitoring the effectiveness of therapy.”

Alex’s work may include (According to the Mayo Clinic):

• Examining and analyzing blood, body fluids, tissues, and cells
• Relaying test results to physicians
• Utilizing microscopes, cell counters, and other high-precision lab equipment
• Cross-matching blood for transfusion
• Monitoring patient outcomes
• Performing differential cell counts looking for abnormal cells to aid in the diagnosis of anemia and leukemia
• Establishing quality assurance programs to monitor and ensure the accuracy of test results
• Overseeing the work of a medical laboratory technician

[embed]Medical Laboratory Scientist Career Overview | Mayo Clinic College of Medicine & Science Explore the medical laboratory scientist role: key responsibilities, required qualifications, pay range, and training…college.mayo.edu

Alex and her Python friend (Photo by Jeni Bennett)

A full life on the road

Alex works whatever shift her current hospital needs her to, but she prefers nights. “I do not have kids, so I do it for my dogs. “That way they can see the sunrises and the sunsets with us,” she says.

Eric is a night-shift registered nurse (RN) and usually works 3 12-hour shifts. He sleeps during the day and half of his next day off.

When they are not working, the four of them (Alex, Eric, Holly, and Eric’s dog Lola) are hiking, walking in a park, checking out small cities 1 to 2 hours away from their RV spot, enjoying a local brewery or winery, or making a fancy dinner together at the RV.

Eric and Alex go to museums or special historical sites alone if they cannot bring the dogs, but they try to choose days when the weather is bad, so the dogs do not miss a day of sunshine. The people also go on dinner dates and dancing, as I mentioned before. Unfortunately, dogs are not allowed to attend either. I think if the dogs were allowed to go to dinner and dancing wherever they went, Alex might take them, at least sometimes.

Alex and friend (Photo by Angie Lynne)

Family, friends, and all the animals

I have spent some time thinking about what makes Alex different from all the others. She has friends who I know would not be my friends if it were not for her. I have sat at the table at birthday dinners and caught looks from people who were her friends, who I know did not like me.

Alex will go dancing whether she has had time to wash her hair or not (she did that in school and when she was working a lot). She will go dancing in shorts and sneakers if she does not have time to go home and change. Alex does not care what people think. But she does care whether her friends are OK. She cares about “family, friends, and all the animals.”

Alex has found another friend (Photo by Melanie Miller)

A real person

When you look at her social media, you see family, friends, and all the animals against the backdrop of the great outdoors. You do not see her wardrobe, or a discussion of what she purchased last, or the last clothing store she went into. You see scenery from one of the eighteen states they visited, the trails they hiked, and which boat they managed to get all the dogs into. Alex is lovable and popular because she is real. You know exactly where she stands, because she will tell you.

She may not care what you think, but she does care how you feel. Alex wants to have fun and dance, and she wants everyone around her to do the same. Alex wants to love all the dogs, see all the bugs, and make all the people healthy. She is not squeamish, but she looks great in a dress and high heels. She is open. She does not hide what she is feeling and will not let you hide what you are feeling either. That makes for great relationships.

Eric has figured that out. He is hanging onto her pretty tight.

Eric and Alex at the Idaho State Fair (Photo by www.katykahlaphotography.com)