Old Habits, Compulsions, and Other Annoying Symptoms of Early Retirement

Old Habits, Compulsions, and Other Annoying Symptoms of Early Retirement

Still in Recovery

About 35 years ago, I quit smoking. My physical addiction to nicotine made quitting tough, but those symptoms only lasted a few weeks. The real challenge involved breaking many habits I had developed over 20+ years of smoking. For example, I had long celebrated the completion of each and every minor task with a cigarette. When I quit smoking, I suddenly felt like I never actually finished anything I started because I no longer had my habitual reward. That lasted for several years. I find that retirement also involves giving up many compulsive work-related behaviors!

I need to stop preparing for my next class or essay

For the last three decades, part of my job has involved perpetually preparing for classes I taught. Every time I read some exciting research finding, I always felt the need to work it into one of my lectures. Even though I don’t have any more classes to prepare for, that habit hasn’t died. I am enjoying reading and learning about things I never took the time to study when I was working (e.g., human consciousness, AI, philosophy, spirituality, etc.). My automatic response is “How can I work this into my cognitive psychology class? Wait! I don’t have a cognitive psychology class anymore!”

Don’t get me wrong; I am not disappointed about not having to prepare for classes. But I still have the compulsive need to share (i.e., teach) new stuff I learn. So, the next thought usually looks like “I wonder how I can write an essay about this?” I have started a second Substack for this very purpose. But I am not sure I want to spend every day stroking a habit I need to let go of. I am sure I will write about some of the cool stuff I read and learn about. But that’s not why I am doing all this reading and learning. I am just trying to have some selfish, nerdish fun. Unfortunately, old habits die hard.

I need to stop fixing the world

Even my interest in writing about how we might solve all the great problems facing higher education is just another old habit. The truth is there are real problems in academia. I have written about this in a “Part A” of a recent essay on how college has changed. And I threatened to write a “Part B” on what we might do to fix those problems. But when I retired, I decided to turn my responsibilities over to the next generation of young. professor twerps. So, I guess I should turn all that fixing higher education over to them, too. Unfortunately, pontificating is yet another of my well-developed habits that I desperately need to let go of. So, don’t look for “Part B” of that piece anytime soon.

I (may) need to stop looking for gossip

Another of my compulsive behaviors has to do with searching for news about my old workplace. I confess that I have been pretty angry with my college for a while, for reasons that I have written about before. I did like my students. But the administrators and many of my colleagues were not my favorite people. So, when a recent scandal broke, with several employees being arrested and the college being sued for ten million dollars, I immediately started doomscrolling, looking for good gossip. The fact that this scandal does not involve anyone I know is irrelevant. The old habit of looking for reasons to be angry at those “bastards” is alive and well. But I guess I should retire from that, too.

So, where does this leave me in my new retirement? Letting go of old habits. Acquiring new ones. Feeling a little uncomfortable sometimes. Sometimes being a little grumpy. Laughing at myself. A lot like when I quit smoking, but without the physical withdrawal.