Metamorphosis 44/58: Book I ‘The Story of Grandfather Moses’ — Chapter I

or We Are The Weak Nuclear Force: Quantum Parables From Our Mitochondrial Ancestors

And then something out of nothing

Some of my first memories take place before I had a concept of time

While many of my fellow tribe member’s first memories of me / Are things that I do not remember

My earliest memory

Would be staring up at the blue sky

Lying on my back

I think I must be a baby

And it felt safe

And the sky was blue

And I felt like I was falling up, into the sky

Endless

Floating

Flying

Most of my fellow tribe member’s first memories of me

Or at least those who are of an age to remember

Are of when I was first brought to the tribe

I am not from these people

But it is true they opened their doors to me

And they have given me a lot

If I cannot call it love

At least there is food in my belly

And a direction to be walking in

And stories to listen to

And there are days with much laughter

My own tribe, the people whose blood runs in my veins, are people who I don’t know much about

Their stories are lost to me

I don’t know what made them walk

I don’t know if it was just like we are today

With this tribe

Or if it was a different thing, a different direction

Different hopes, different dreams, different habits

What I know is that it is taboo to talk about my past

I also know

That everyone that I used to be with

Apart from myself

They are dead

And not the peaceful dead of moving into that blue sky

But a dead that is unpeaceful

I know that the stone King wears around his neck

The one which he uses to start fires

It comes from my people

And I know that if anyone was to try to take the stone from King

He would fight them to the death

I’m not sure the story of how the stone of my people came to King

I have known since my first memories that it is better not to ask

Today we are a small tribe

We know that we used to be larger in number

Just as we know that there used to more meeting of others who look like us

Whose sounds sound like the sounds we make

And the way they walk is like the way we walk

But every year

Every revolution around the sun

Every cycle change of the stars

We become smaller and smaller in number

But we are still here

We are still present

And we are still walking forward

There are just a few of us

But we are big in spirit

There is my half brother Goliath

We were nursed together as babes

He has always been physically bigger than me

He is the dauphin of the tribe

The future leader

It is in every particle of his being

To know that it is his destiny to be our master

He is someone who has moments of wonderful conversation with me

And we often walk side by side

Enjoying the world together

We can both be filled with laughter

The beating sun on our faces

The breeze through the skins we wear

But

He is also someone who can be cruel

He is someone that believes there is a set of rules for everyone else

And then a set of rules just for him

And I can tell you

That I have seen him in fits of rage that scared me

It is not good to be scared of another human being

Especially one who is your brother

Then,

There is Goliath’s father, King

Who wears the stone of my people

And raised me as a son

He is a good King

I do expect that the story of my people

Does not have a positive point of intersection

With the tribe of King

But I do know that King has been a good father to me

And a good leader of our tribe

He is someone that does listen

Who brings many skills

Who is fair

Even if he is uncompromising

Every moment of his existence is one of fundamental unweakness

He is a strong stick that I do not believe the world has in it to break or even bend

Then,

There is Goliath’s mother and King’s wife:

Grandma

She is the keeper of the culture of our tribe

She is someone who tells us stories in the evening

And makes us know that we are not alone in the world

That we are a part of a greater essence

A part of a greater world

She has taught us about the universe and existence

And what it means to feel your heart pumping and to be alive

She will never do anything to cross or betray King or Goliath

They are a tribe within a tribe

She protects them first

Then she is fierce in protecting all of us

And she has been as my mother

And I have no hesitation to say that there is a great amount of love in my heart for her

Even when I know that she treats me as secondary to Goliath

Then,

There are just a few others of us

Some, I will not go into detail on

They are the characters that fill our tribe

And are important in that they show the resilience and capability of who we are as a people

Maybe this story isn’t the story where they are the center

They are the ones supporting

But there are a few who are important

There is my friend Amen

Who is a voice of goodness and strength in my ear

And the most wonderful human being that I have ever met

She makes a safe place wherever she is in the world

I trust the goodness in her heart

There may be love in my heart for her

But I am unsure if that is the right word for the emotion I feel

There is Dallas

Who is always a voice of reason

Who always listens flexibly

He is very much King’s man

He is the one who can communicate to King different sides

In a way that can allow King to be more amenable to a situation

And more in control

Dallas may be the real center of our tribe

It is very often his view that becomes the one that we follow

But his views are based on fairness and logic

Empathy and comprehension

Outside of these,

We number twenty five

There are few children and they are precious to us

We endure together

We walk together

Searching for food

Searching for a nice place to rest our heads

Searching for a place to make fire, call camp and fill our bellies

And survive for another day

King has the capability to make fire

We have seen from a distance other tribes

They have not been able to make fire the way King can

They find fire from lightning, but they cannot make it with their own hands

King makes the fire in secret when we aren’t watching

All we know is he uses the stone he wears around his neck that came from my people

It is the thing that gives him power

Not just in our tribe but over every tribe

He is fire starter

He is fire man

And with that fire

We have heat

We have warmth

We have food

We have power

We’ve banished our fear of the dark away

And we are united together

United against the infinite darkness that invades the world around us

The fire is the center of our lives

It is the thing that makes us different than the world around us

We take it extremely seriously

We make sure that the fire is respected and worshiped

When we start a fire King says words of thanks to the fire

We all bow our heads and let him speak to give the fire its proper space

Then over the evening

As the darkness settles in

And we can see the stars above us

So many in number

That sometimes we argue whether the sky is white with black specs

Or black with white specs

And Grandma tells us stories of where we come from

Of the Garden of Eden

A place that was perfect

But that we were banished from

For the mistakes we made

She tells us the stories of why we need to be good followers

Because it was by not following that we were banished from Eden

And why every day we need to suffer

We need to suffer

Because we are sinners

And we have done wrong

And the only thing that should drive us

Is the motivation that if we live a life of following

A life of following King

And following his rule

Perhaps,

We can be forgiven

And re-find the Garden of Eden

I like these stories in the evening

Grandma is an incredible story teller

Sometimes she’ll tell the same story again and again

But each retelling is a little bit different

And I love to hear the differences

Just as I feel safe knowing

That the story is a story

That I know the beginning, the middle and the end

And even if sometimes the lessons are hard and painful

The characters can have so much richness and depth

It is worth falling into them in the nighttime

The nighttime is my favourite time

It’s the time when I get to lean back quietly

Being in my head

And know the swirling, fluttering thoughts

Of what can only be called my mind

A time when I am free

And as I stare in the fire

And my brain levitates

Up, down, sideways

In and out of my soul

And I feel what it is to know that I have purpose in my being alive

Even if I don’t know what to do with this feeling of purpose

This essence of spirit / That can flow from me

When I am free in the evenings

Is something I consider holy

Then as I fade to sleep

I hear others speak of dreams

Dreams of hunting

Dreams of carnality

Dream of picking fruit

Dreams of walking

But myself,

I very rarely dream

And when I do dream

It is not a good experience

Often,

I just have my brain turn off

As what I must imagine is the feeling of death

Disappearance

The stopping of existence

And then

To awaken in the sunshine of the morning

My brain rising, like the sun

And the push to get up and begin another day

Though I always try to take a few moments

To feel peace

And feel the spirit

Just as I enter the blackness drifting towards sleep

And my brain is free and I experience reality in a different way

If nighttime, just as my brain flutters to oblivion, is my favourite time

Then my second favourite would be my waking in the morning

With my eyes still shut

Feeling the warmth of the sun creeping over my head

Feeling my brain imagining different realities

Of what the day, and the world and my lifetime can hold

And I take pleasure in relaxing in the euphony of what my brain allows me

The freedom to think

And then

With my will and power

That is built, not innate

I will open my eyes

And begin the challenge of the day

To make sure that we are all safe

That we are all protecting each other

That we have food in our bellies

Water in our water carriers

And that we get through another day safely

And in peace

For not every day will end safely

Or in peace