The Gospel of Matthew

Forgiveness and Reconciliation

[Matthew 18, Verses 15–35](http://“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant 21Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. 23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. 28But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. 31When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”)

Photo by Erika Giraud on Unsplash

Read Matthew 18: 15–17

After Jesus warns about the consequences of leading children (or children in the faith) astray, He turns to the issues of reconciliation and forgiveness.

First, he starts with the conflicts that occur between fellow believers when one sins against the other. How is this to be handled?

Privately and one-on-one. We don’t need to bring other people into it, and we don’t need to alert everyone that we have a grievance with someone. The circle stays as small as possible.

Each time, the goal is reconciliation. These conversations are meant to be carried out in love.

If we are on the receiving end of this discussion, what is our role? We are to listen. We are to be open to what our fellow believer is saying to us about our behavior. If they are correct, we are to repent.

Have you ever had to have this kind of conversation with a fellow church member? How did it turn out?

One thing Jesus does not prescribe here, but I find helpful, is to pray before you have that conversation. Ask for wisdom and clarity about the words and timing of the encounter.

In the Jewish tradition, ensuring this is a one-on-one conversation is part of the culture; saving face is extremely important.

Read [Deuteronomy 19:15](http://'“A single witness shall not suffice against a person for any crime or for any wrong in connection with any offense that he has committed. Only on the evidence of two witnesses or of three witnesses shall a charge be established. ' Deuteronomy 19:15 https://www.bible.com/bible/59/DEU.19.15.ESV). This was the background in the Torah for calling for two or three witnesses to confront someone.

This account moves on from a one-on-one interaction to the beginning of church discipline. In verse 17, it says the brother who will not listen should be treated as a pagan or a tax collector.

How do we see Jesus treating pagans and tax collectors? Did He still interact with them? Yes, He did. Those who were unrepentant were not part of His inner circle, but He did not shun them.

Today’s Christian churches use this passage as a model, but a review of the historical setting of Jesus’ time is good to observe. Jewish congregations were accustomed to a synagogue acting as a center of the community and also functioning as a community court. The term qahal, used in Scripture to refer to the community of God’s people, is translated as “church” or “synagogue” in our Scripture. It means that the person is then outside of the community of God’s people. It is the highest form of discipline.

Church discipline is a hot topic. Some congregations that follow this model get bad publicity for doing it. Sometimes that is earned due to their approach, and other times it is because those writing about it don’t know that this is laid out in Scripture as a teaching.

It does bring up a question about appropriate church practices since there are many interpretations of this topic. Some churches are open to anyone, others have strict rules regarding membership versus attendance, and still others are restrictive on who can be welcomed as a regular attendee.

I don’t think it is an accident that this conversation follows the teaching about children and those who are new to the faith. Giving people room to grow matters. Speaking to them in love as they are going through this growth matters, too. How we discipline is critical.

Read Matthew 18:18–20

We talked about binding and loosing back in Chapter 16 right after Peter is told he will be a pivotal leader in the church. The disciples’ teaching is given power, as is the Jewish tradition and the teachings of Jesus. All will come together to formulate a model of Christian behavior that reflects God’s laws. Believers will be able to use this as a model to bind and loose. This can be something you visualize like a prisoner’s ties, but I also think of it as what can bind us to a body of believers and what can cause us to be cut loose from it.

Contrast [Deuteronomy 17:6–7](http://On the evidence of two witnesses or of three witnesses the one who is to die shall be put to death; a person shall not be put to death on the evidence of one witness. 7The hand of the witnesses shall be first against him to put him to death, and afterward the hand of all the people. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.) with this passage. What do you notice?

Jesus keeps the number of people involved consistent and references back to what they will recognize from Deuteronomy, but does He talk about death? He talks about coming together in prayer rather than striking the offender.

Do you think verse 19 says that He will do whatever we ask or that this is saying He backs up the church members’ authority when they make decisions in accord with the Bible?

These verses are especially impactful for our small group. Some weeks we only have two or three of us present, but Jesus is always with us.

Read Matthew 18: 21–22

Peter thought seven was a generous number. The common Jewish oral teaching was to forgive someone three times. There were questions about anyone’s sincerity beyond that point.

Our study about the importance of numbers in the Hebrew tradition comes into play here.

Three is the number of community. Seven is the number of completion.

Jesus doesn’t choose 77 as a play on Peter’s chosen number. It had significance. It goes back to Genesis 4 and the line of Cain after he killed his brother Abel.

[Read Genesis 4:13–24](http://Cain said to the Lord, “My punishment is greater than I can bear. 14Behold, you have driven me today away from the ground, and from your face I shall be hidden. I shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me.” 15Then the Lord said to him, “Not so! If anyone kills Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold.” And the Lord put a mark on Cain, lest any who found him should attack him. 16Then Cain went away from the presence of the Lord and settled in the land of Nod, east of Eden. 17Cain knew his wife, and she conceived and bore Enoch. When he built a city, he called the name of the city after the name of his son, Enoch. 18To Enoch was born Irad, and Irad fathered Mehujael, and Mehujael fathered Methushael, and Methushael fathered Lamech. 19And Lamech took two wives. The name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah. 20Adah bore Jabal; he was the father of those who dwell in tents and have livestock. 21His brother’s name was Jubal; he was the father of all those who play the lyre and pipe. 22Zillah also bore Tubal-cain; he was the forger of all instruments of bronze and iron. The sister of Tubal-cain was Naamah. 23Lamech said to his wives: “Adah and Zillah, hear my voice; you wives of Lamech, listen to what I say: I have killed a man for wounding me, a young man for striking me. 24 If Cain’s revenge is sevenfold, then Lamech’s is seventy-sevenfold.”)

Lamech was the 7th generation of Cain’s line, and he also killed someone. Evil was now rampant in Cain’s lineage, and we are now talking about avenging at an exponential level: 77. Jesus reverses the principle of vengeance. He essentially tells Peter that he’s got to be willing to have an infinite view when it comes to forgiveness and not place limits on it.

Then Jesus shares a parable to illustrate that level of forgiveness.

Read Matthew 18: 23–35

What stands out to you about this parable?

This one is easy to understand. We were forgiven so much, and we are expected to be equally forgiving towards those who wrong us.

Why do you think these stories are in the Bible?

What does this text teach you about God?

What does this text teach you about man?

Is there something that you can apply to your life?

These notes are from a weekly Bible study I lead at our church and are part of a series on the Gospel of Matthew. I do not send these to subscribers unless they are followers of the Jesus Follower publication on Medium.

Resources:

NIV Cultural Backgrounds Study Bible

ESV Study Bible

An In-Depth Study of Matthew by Tabletalk Magazine on YouVersion

The Spiritual Discipline Starter Pack for People Who Lack Discipline by Glenna Marshall on crossway.org

What Made Jesus Mad? By Tim Harlow

BEMA Podcast, Episode 121