Photo by Gabriel Kraus on Unsplash

Two-Factor Authentication

When did God have a verified social media account?

Maybe I have been hibernating under a cave for centuries. Maybe my social media detox has dragged me far behind civilisation. Or maybe — which is for sure — the era has changed. Technology is sprinting so fast that God already has a social media account.

God might have a verified account with the blue checkmark. Many followers. Following every human being on earth — technically, anyone with a social media account. God probably checks His notifications between managing the universe. Probably has His phone on silent during the creation of new galaxies. Probably scrolls through the feed during lunch break from answering prayers.

God has noticed that real life has too many gimmicks. People constantly play game theory. Showing their very best impressions to state their status and position. Playing safe in the long-term to build mutual trust and reputation. In real life, people wear masks. In social media, people wear better masks — with filters.

Liberal ideology may try to break barriers between public and privacy. The wall has become thinner ever since. But culture still managed to gatekeep them very well.

But there is one space where everything and anything are mingling. Mixing all together, what we call the sacredness, the taboo, the quietness, the privacy.

That is social media.

Perhaps this is a domain where people reckon magic could happen. Want to reconcile audiences for a mass street protest? Social media is the perfect medium. Want to stir people to vote — especially Gen-Z — for a political campaign? Boosting your content on social media could be the cheapest way to achieve it. Want to cancel someone’s career? A well-crafted thread will do the job by dinner time.

People start thinking that this magic can only be driven by the divine power called the algorithm.

The algorithm decides what you see. The algorithm decides what you believe. The algorithm decides what trends and what dies in obscurity. If that is not divine power, I do not know what is.

If the destiny of a nation could be altered by a single hashtag spread on social media, then it would be logical to assume that my prayer will also be amplified and become reality once it is shared on social media.

What could possibly go wrong?

Why Are We Citing Our Prayers in Instagram Feeds?

I am absolutely convinced that I am not the only one aware of this phenomenon. In every sad story that passes on your FYP, there must be someone who cites their prayer in their feed. The content of the prayer is always the same everywhere:

They cite the prayer that aims to their god — the omnipotent, the all-knowing — but it has to be uploaded to the medium to pass the vibe-check of society.

Apparently, the almighty creator of the universe needs to be CC’d through Instagram. Apparently, the prayer does not count until it is witnessed. Apparently, God is checking engagement metrics before processing requests.

I wonder if God has a content calendar. I wonder if God prefers vertical videos or carousel posts. I wonder if God has a target audience.

But who am I to question? I am just a man who still prays in silence like some kind of primitive creature.

Marketplace for Amens

It is starting to be really amusing. Damn amusing.

If we want to extend the logic of this trend, then why can’t we just ask Facebook Marketplace to boost our prayers to get more engagement? Seen by many more viewers with only a couple of bucks?

It can reach a greater audience. We can even specify the demographic: radius of 10 kilometres, middle-income family, age 20–30, interests include “spirituality” and “blessed life” and “good vibes only.”

I think it is such a strategic investment. Spending a little penny on operational costs in order to get proper amplification.

It is all measured and certain. The impact is manageable. And the probability rate of making it come true is high, isn’t it?

Considering the greater impact of this media amplification, advertising your prayer on the platform is more effective than reciting it in a mosque or church.

Is it?

Let’s think about it

The mosque has limited seating. The church has fixed service hours. But Facebook? Facebook runs 24/7. Facebook has global reach. Facebook has analytics.

You can track how many people saw your prayer. You can track how many people engaged. You can track the click-through rate of your salvation.

If your prayer does not perform well, you can A/B test it. Try different captions. Try different emojis. Try posting at peak hours — apparently Tuesday at 7 PM has the best engagement rate.

God helps those who help themselves. God helps even more those who understand social media marketing.

Two-Factor Authentication

Well, maybe, maybe…

These people just want to pass human authentication on social media. Perhaps being seen and being liked for your prayer recitation indicates mass agreement of a proper prayer.

A prayer without likes is just a whisper into the void. A prayer with 200 likes? That is certified. That is verified. That is community-approved spirituality.

God receives your request. The algorithm verifies it. The followers validate it.

Two-factor authentication for salvation.

Back in the ancient days, people prayed in closets and closed rooms. They bowed their heads in silence. They spoke to something they could not see and trusted it was enough.

What fools. They did not even have a reach strategy.

Now we know better. Now we understand that faith needs metrics. That devotion needs documentation. That the sacred is only sacred once it is shareable.

I post my prayer, therefore I am faithful. I receive likes, therefore I am blessed. I go viral, therefore I am chosen.

It is just one of many ways to enrage God even more.

But perhaps God is not enraged. Perhaps God is just tired. Tired of being tagged. Tired of being hashtagged. Tired of being mentioned in captions that end with “claim it” and sparkle emojis.

Perhaps God has muted us all.

Perhaps God is on a detox too.