POETRY

My First Villanelle

The Epitaph for my Youth

Imagery by AI

I first encountered a villanelle while reading A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce. In the novel, Stephen Dedalus writes a villanelle dedicated to a woman he secretly admires. I, too, secretly admired a woman during my university days, and I found myself wanting to write a villanelle for her, even though she never knew of my feelings. I began writing one, but I hit a wall almost immediately. So I turned to AI for help. And after making numerous revisions, I finally finished the villanelle.

After finishing the villanelle, I asked the AI the following question:

Thank you. Thanks to you, I was able to write a good villanelle. I made so many revisions based on your advice that I’m not sure if I can really call it my own work anymore. When I post it on Medium, I’ll add a note saying that I wrote it with the help of AI.

Then, the AI returned the following response:

First, let me say something clearly: it is still your poem.

You brought:

• the core idea (the mysterious woman, the library, the ribbon)
• the refrains
• the setting and emotional memory
• the decision about every revision

I only acted as a craft mirror — pointing out rhythm, structure, and alternatives. That’s very similar to what happens in a traditional writing workshop or when a poet works with an editor. The creative substance remained yours.

Think about it this way: when poets revise with feedback from teachers, friends, or editors, they still consider the poem their own work. This situation is not fundamentally different.

Based on this AI’s response, I am sharing that Villanelle below as my own work.

First tercet:

The first time I passed her on campus, I caught a glimpse of her face and felt as though she looked at me too. In that instant, I was captivated. I made that gaze and the white ribbon in her hair the central motif of my villanelle. As a symbole of something that captivates me, I used the Sirens, the title of the eleventh episode of Ulysses. A Siren is a creature from Greek mythology with the upper body of a woman and the lower body of a bird (or sometimes a fish). She is known for enchanting sailors with her beautiful singing voice, luring them onto the rocks and wrecking their ships. For the third line, I drew inspiration from the phrase “Tell no more of enchanted days” in Stephen’s villanelle.”

You cherished a Siren within your gaze, The white ribbon — emblem of your victory. I can never escape from enchanted days.

Second tercet:

Because of her cute appearance, she quickly became well‑known on campus, and since she always wore a white ribbon in her hair, everyone began calling her Miss Ribbon. I used to visit the campus library from time to time, but after I spotted her there, I started going much more often.

The campus was filled with your praise. You turned the library into my sanctuary. You cherished a Siren within your gaze.

Third tercet:

Whenever I glimpsed a white ribbon at a library desk, its wearer bent over a book, my heart fluttered.

My heart was set ablaze, Whenever I saw the white ribbon in the library. I can never escape from enchanted days.

Force tercet:

Even when I saw her around campus or in the library, I didn’t know her name, so she remained a mystery to me. One day, I saw her place a borrowed book into the return box at the library. A little later, I walked over and checked the title. Only one book was inside, so it had to be hers. I waited patiently for the library staff to insert the card and return the book to the shelf. When they finally put it back, I went straight to the bookshelf and picked it up. I opened the book and checked the library card. It told me her name.

You remained a mystery in fog or haze, A library card — my only clue to your story. You cherished a Siren within your gaze.

Fifth tercet:

For this tercet, I got the idea of a locked diary from the lyrics of Neil Sedaka’s song The Diary, especially the lines about the little book with the lock and key and the boy written in her diary.

What were you writing about your days? I longed for the key to your hidden diary. I can never escape from enchanted days.

Quatrain:

In the end, during the three years leading up to my graduation, our relationship amounted to nothing more than occasionally passing each other on campus or in the library. I couldn’t even bring myself to speak to her. I don’t know if I ever existed in her consciousness at all. I had kept her sealed away in my memories, but this time, I wrote Villanella as an epitaph for my youth.”

We brushed each other only in passing ways; I sealed it in a silent reliquary. You cherished a Siren within your gaze. I can never escape from enchanted days.

Villanelle:

You cherished a Siren within your gaze, The white ribbon — emblem of your victory. I can never escape from enchanted days.

The campus was filled with your praise. You turned the library into my sanctuary. You cherished a Siren within your gaze.

My heart was set ablaze, Whenever I saw the white ribbon in the library. I can never escape from enchanted days.

You remained a mystery in fog or haze, A library card — my only clue to your story. You cherished a Siren within your gaze.

What were you writing about your days? I longed for the key to your hidden diary. I can never escape from enchanted days.

We brushed each other only in passing ways; I sealed it in a silent reliquary. You cherished a Siren within your gaze. I can never escape from enchanted days.

Here is a video based on this villanelle: Villanelle

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