In Practice: Is my employee actually bat sh*t crazy?

I Think My Employee Is… a Lot

Before you label them, look at what you’re holding — and what you’re allowing to stay

Photo by Evgeniy Smersh on Unsplash

Let’s be honest for a minute.

You’ve got someone in your team who is hard work.

Not just “a bit challenging.”

A lot.

You have to work hard not to roll your eyes. Clench your jaw. Your prehaps hold back laughter.

Maybe they bring strong personal beliefs into conversations where it derails the work. Maybe there’s constant drama — every issue escalates, every story grows. Maybe they’re loud, take over meetings, ignore the cues everyone else reads. Maybe there are things like personal presentation or hygiene that others are quietly reacting to — but no one is naming. I had an employee once who literally stunk, all the time.

And at some point, hopefully not out loud, you’ve thought:

What is going on with them?

I get it.

But here’s where I’m going to be direct with you.

The bigger issue isn’t their behaviour. ALthouogh it probably is impactin g on more than just you.

It’s what you’re now holding because of it.

Because right now, I’d bet this work is sitting with you. And it does. And your team want it to.

You’re thinking ahead to manage their reactions. You’re choosing your words carefully. You’re letting things pass that you wouldn’t let pass with anyone else.

Your team notice.

That’s the pattern.

The behaviour happens.

And then the weight of managing it stays with you. Depending on the behaviours you may have a workplace health and safety responsibility, or you may even carry a real psychosocial risk.

Here’s me being helpful: After all you are the leader and the buck stops with you.

What you’re actually doing (without meaning to)

When someone is unpredictable or intense, leaders compensate.

You might:

• soften feedback so it doesn’t trigger them
• avoid certain conversations
• step in early to prevent escalation
• give them more room than is fair or healthy.

It feels like you’re keeping things steady. It’s not only AI that hallucinates.

But what’s really happening is this:

You’re letting more stay with you than should.

And your team sees it.

They see what gets addressed — and what doesn’t.

They see where the line is — and where it moves. They know where the policy or safety line is as well. That’s where this becomes a leadership issue.

Not a personality one.

A necessary line to hold

Before we go further, this matters.

Some behaviours may be connected to mental health, stress, or critical things happening outside of work.

That deserves care.

Respect.

And, where appropriate, support. Even perhaps empathetic referral to other more appropriate supports. In my time I’ve supported staff to find a homeless shelter for the night. Check-in to rehab. Attend the hospital. Move states to flee domestic violence. Buy good deodorant.

But it does not remove your responsibility to lead the work.

Supporting someone does not mean:

• accepting behaviour that disrupts the team
• lowering expectations indefinitely
• carrying the impact on behalf of everyone else.

You can be both:

clear and humane. In fact you should. You’re the leader.

The question you need to sit with

Strip away the labels.

Ask yourself:

What am I currently holding that should not be staying with me?

And alongside that:

What behaviour am I allowing to continue that is affecting the team?

Be honest.

That’s your starting point.

What this looks like in practice

You need to bring this back to something grounded.

1. Name the behaviour — nothing more

No diagnosis. No story.

“In meetings, I’ve noticed a habit of speaking over others and raising your voice when challenged.”

Or:

“There’s been a pattern of issues around your workload escalating quickly, and it’s affecting how the team works.”

Or, where needed:

“We need to talk about expectations around professional presentation at work.”

This is about what is happening.

Not who they are.

2. Be clear about the impact

This is where you stop carrying it alone.

“This is making it harder for others to contribute.” “It’s creating tension in the team.” “It’s not workable for the environment we need.”

Now the impact is visible.

Not just felt by you.

3. Set the expectation — and leave it there

Don’t soften it to make it easier.

“I need you to let others finish speaking.” “I need your tone to stay steady in meetings.” “I need this addressed so you can work effectively in the team.”

Clear.

Specific.

Then stop.

4. Hold it next time

This is where most leaders step back.

Don’t.

In the moment:

“I’m going to stop you there — we’ve spoken about this.”

Calm.

No escalation.

But you don’t let it pass.

Where mental health fits — properly

If there are signs someone is struggling, you can:

• ask how they’re going
• offer support pathways (EAP, HR, medical assesment, adjustments where appropriate)
• show care in how you approach the conversation.

But you still hold the line on behaviour.

Because part of supporting someone is giving them a clear, stable environment to work within.

Not one where expectations are blurred.

Let’s talk about the real risk

If you keep carrying this:

• your standards drift
• your team adjusts around the behaviour
• resentment builds
• you hold all the risk
• and you become the place all of that tension sits.

That’s not sustainable. For you.

Or for the team.

A quick reset

You don’t need to understand everything about this person.

You don’t need to fix them. You don’t need to make them easy.

But you do need to decide:

What stays with me — and what doesn’t.

Before your next interaction

Think about them. You’re managin eaily not to roll your eyes now. You’ve really got this.

You know who it is.

Ask yourself:

• What am I currently holding because I haven’t addressed this?
• What needs to be said — clearly, and without the story around it?

Then deal with one thing. Not everything.

Just one.

Because the longer you leave it, the more it stays with you. And nothing will change. You will just carry.

Leadership isn’t about removing difficulty.

It’s about not letting it quietly settle in the wrong place.

If this is something you’re navigating, you’re not the only one.

I write about the parts of leadership that sit just beneath the surface — and how to work with them without carrying more than you need to — in my publication *The Unseen Work of Leadership.*

You’re very welcome to join me there.