Insult deflection

Sometimes wisdom comes in the form of a motivational speech.

Sometimes it's through an experience that made you change how you look at the world.

And sometimes… sometimes it's a meme in Tumblr.

I haven't stopped thinking about this particular meme for several years now, and I'm glad the internet was so generous to allow me to share it again. (Know Your Meme, you're a treasure to humanity.)

The joke goes a bit deeper, because lots of times I've seen people getting mad at someone else and spewing some sort of insult or degradation that isn't part of their personality. Something they would never say, like something sexist, or racist, or downright evil. After the heat passes, of course they'll say something around the likes of "sorry, I was really angry".

But angry doesn't change who you are — so the real revelation here is that you though of those traits as negative all along. You were just pushing it down so that others didn't see it.

Being in the third guy's position has happened to me numerous times. Those people don't know it, because this isn't a movie and I won't be walking on eggshells or putting up a show for us to conciliate. If I value our relationship enough I will start a debate and hope that either they convince me, or I educate them. Most of the times, I will just walk away silently and that relationship will go to sleep. Forever.

Should I be doing this? Frankly, I don't know. I know the world would be a better place if all of us stood up for ourselves and our differences were just solved or accepted. But the truth is that I neither have the energy nor the will nor the patience to deal with every single microaggression that comes my way. It would also be a better world if everyone did the same and then those that are insensitive are left alone, wouldn't it?

People have also talked against this point of view. Am I one of those little snowflakes getting triggered? Maybe I should stop being so sensitive and stop deluding good relationships because a dumb thing someone said.

Or maybe I just don't want to help other people be better. Git gud if you want to stay around me.