Midlife Reset: Becoming Her When You Don’t Recognize Your Own Life

I’m now in my mid-40’s and I just had a realization. This feels like a midlife reset I didn’t plan for, but desperately needed. Every few years I have to reinvent myself.

I recently clicked on a blog with the title “Becoming Her” and I loved the idea, but the blog left me disappointed because it turned out to be a sales pitch.

But the title stuck. Because I was dressing a body I don’t recognise, but feel too familiar in to do anything about. That’s what I need right now. That’s what I’ve been working on, and it feels like a very lonely place.

This felt like a midlife reset, but also a quiet answer to the question so many of us are asking… how to start over in midlife when life already feels full.

I am searching for work, but I have no idea what I even want to do with all the hours in my day, if it’s not helping beautiful women like yourself finding pockets of joy in your own lives so that you can live with more intention.

Wondering how I can help someone else when I myself feel so lost in this wide world.

Why a Midlife Reset Feels So Uncomfortable

I know so many of us are just keeping way too busy to even begin trying to figure out who we are. With kids, households, husbands and work. There’s just no time for us.

But I landed in South Africa for an unexpected 3 months and in that time I thought that my YouTube channel would explode with all the time I have on hand to push into it, but very quickly it became very clear that I cannot pour from an empty cup.

And when I started looking at what could fill my cup, I realised that I was very far from myself. I quickly realized that what I needed wasn’t more discipline… it was a midlife reset that started from within.

Living in a State of Stress

I’m going to talk about stress in our bodies and living in a state of stress. That anxious overwhelming feeling you constantly have is your body telling you that you are in a stress cycle.

My first steps to Becoming Me were recognising that and doing some deep work on myself to calm my nervous system that was in overdrive.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I did think that losing weight, walking in the mornings, cutting processed carbs & sugar, some botox and a shopping spree would help me find myself. I was dead wrong.

What Actually Worked

This journey of a midlife reset isn’t about becoming someone new, it’s about returning to who you are.

By becoming still and uncomfortable with myself, first for 2 minutes, then for 5 minutes and now for a full 10 minutes twice a day, and recently incorporating something widely known as ‘Morning Pages,’ I can see a glimmer of the woman I am dreaming of becoming.

Another practice I am learning about now that I was never aware of is that we cannot become comfortable with ourselves in a stress response, because we don’t feel safe in our own bodies. That’s a whole different practice on its own, and if you want to know more about that, subscribe to my blogs here.

Three Months Closer to Her

It’s been 3 months and I am a lot closer to Becoming Her than I was when I read that blog and landed in South Africa.

If you’re in a season of midlife reset, start small. Just two minutes of stillness. Just two minutes. Your nervous system needs you to get uncomfortable enough to listen.

Here’s to finding calm in the chaos. Because you can fall in love with your life again. Until next time,

ChanDrew ❤️

If you enjoyed this, perhaps you will also enjoy reading: