I want to love you beautifully

I want to love you through conversations about Surah Yusuf and long discussions about the hisab of the Hijri calendar. With the thought of you being the imam of our family, while I, our kids, and the cats stand behind you as your ma’mum.

I want to love you in a home filled with flowers, fruit trees, and vegetables growing in the garden. With books on the shelves, paintings hanging on the walls, and murottal playing in the background, while our kids got so much curiosity and leaving both of us overwhelmed.

I want to love you as they grow and we will see them go to university, get their first jobs, get married. Perhaps one day we will be a grandma and grandpa, while we carrying our grandkids, with our hair turns grey.

I want to love you as we teach the kids their first words: Mama and Baba. As we learn everyday how to teach them, how to read, how to write, how to pray, how to draw, how to ride a bicycle, how to do the math, and how to memorizing the Quran or even the periodic table.

I want to love you while we still debate about politics, movies, or even food. Our home will full of laundry that never seems to an end, the dishes waiting in the sink, and the meals we cook for our everyday lives. Our problems may come day after day yet our love grows stronger. And the idea of the stories we tell each other after a long day of work, how the strange things happens and sometime our colleague got on our nerves, will always make me smile.

I want to love you in our Iman and Islam: the belief in Allah, in His angels, in His holy books, in His messengers, in the Last Day, and in the Qada and Qadar. Or perhaps someday I will wonder, what if I die before you? Will you still remember me? Will you still love me? Will you still make du’a for me? Or even, will we be reunited in His Jannah?

I want to love you through the happiest days and the saddest days of our lives, even when both of us make mistakes, yet still choosing forgiveness again and again.

I want to love you as a plant need sunlight to survive, for photosynthesis, as the Moon orbits the Earth, moving forward every day, returning year after year, and remaining constant through every phase, travels about 13.2 degrees a day and completes more than thirteen orbits a year, yet it never loses its course.

I want to love you beautifully, annoyingly, excessively, historically, biologically, physically, chemically, medically, artistically, and literarily, until you finally realize how much love one person can hold for another.

Most of all, I want to love you for the sake of Allah.