LIFE LESSONS STORIES SERIES

Lurking Fear Inside Out Vs Horrific Monster Scare Imposed

An Insightful Series of Life Lessons That My Life Provided As I Lived Understanding Its Psychology and Philosophy Improving My Mental Health in The Process.

Lurking Fear Inside Out Vs Horrific Monster Scare Imposed

Lurking Fear Inside Out Vs Horrific Monster Scare Imposed

Another memory hits my mind. It’s the time when I was 6 years old. My parents had me admitted to a school in class 1 when I turned 6. It was when the principal of the school, who was my father’s friend, reminded him that I had come of age and could join the school. So, the next day, my parents took me to his school and got me admitted there.

I stayed in class 1 for 10 months until the teachers decided I had already qualified to be a class 2 student. So, I was promoted to class 2. I had to write my class 2 exams within 2 months of getting promoted there. I don’t know how, but I was ranked 1st in my class 2 exams and got promoted to class 3 when I was 7.

Anyway, I was still in class 1 when it happened. Every day, after school was over, I walked back home with my friends, carrying school bags on our shoulders. We also carried a ‘Takhti’, a small wooden slate with an extended handle to carry it to school every day. As children, we used to write on it with a straw pen dipped in black ink to master the art of calligraphy. Every day, the slate would be coated with Fuller’s earth to absorb the ink, and then we washed it off. After washing, we dried it by swirling it up and down in the sunshine. While doing so, we would sing in chorus: Come, sun great, dry my slate.

Chatting On Our Way Back Home

Chatting On Our Way Back Home.

So, while going back home, we kept chatting in groups as we walked along hilly roads. One day, a friend walking in another group splintered off and came back to say something to me. It must have been something of importance, as he immediately pulled my arm to draw my attention to him. But I was in the midst of another important chat within my group. At least that was what I thought. So I asked him to wait a moment and continued my chat. But my friend wouldn’t wait as he thought his thing was more important than what I was involved in.

He again pulled my arm to draw my attention to him. I again asked him to wait a bit. But he wouldn’t agree. He again pulled my arm for the third time to listen to him. It turned me angry this time, and I hit him with my wooden slate on the head.

His Head Started Bleeding Profusely

His head started bleeding profusely.

His head started bleeding profusely. All of us, myself included, were stunned, unsure what to do. Incidentally, a group of our teachers was coming up behind us. They took notice of the accident and immediately took my bleeding friend to a doctor for first aid. We followed them along.

I was feeling bad for my friend and guilty about being emotionally impulsive. Luckily, the doctor assured our teachers it wasn’t a very serious wound, and a few stitches would do the needful. His wound got stitched, and the doctor bandaged his head. Surprisingly, none of the teachers scolded me for what I had done, and that made me feel even more guilty.

My friend had to take a few days off from school. When he came back to the class, he was still wearing a bandage around his head.

I Grew A Fear in My Mind

I grew a fear in my mind.

Days passed by. Everything came back to normal, but with a fear that I grew in my mind. It was the fear of his father hitting me for having hit his son. I knew him because his shop was on the main road between my house and my father’s shop. I used to cross it every day to visit my father’s shop. But now I feared he would catch me at any moment if he ever spotted me passing by his shop.

So, I avoided walking down to my father’s shop via the main road linking it to our house. But luckily for me, there was a side road that bypassed his father’s shop. And I could safely go to my father’s shop without getting spotted by my friend’s father.

Months passed by, and I didn’t step on the main road past his father’s shop.

My Fear Turned into An Imaginary Scare Now!

My Fear Turned into An Imaginary Scare Now!

One day it happened so that my mother was accompanying me as I moved toward my father’s shop. As I habitually took the side road, my mother raised an objection because I wasn’t going via the main road. I tried to avoid her question, but smelling something foul, she insisted on my answer.

Ultimately, I was forced to hesitantly express my fear to her. She started laughing and immediately took me to the shop of my friend’s father. My heart was pounding as we entered the shop. She took me straight to his father and explained to him how I had been avoiding facing him for months.

As his father heard the story from my mother, he started laughing aloud. I was shockingly surprised as I heard him saying, “What an innocent child! And a stupid one for that matter! Things like these keep happening between friends. I am not a demon who would hit an innocent child for having hit my son in a childlike impulse. Come to me, my child!” Then he took me in his arms and kissed me on my face.

Freedom From Fear And Scare

Freedom From Fear And Scare.

I felt I was freed from the burden of a yoke on my shoulders I had been carrying for months.

I feared facing him, although he had never scared me with anything that I had imagined in my mind. This fear had grown from within me out of my guilt for what I had done to his son. It didn’t have to do anything with a scare that was ever imposed on me from outside. It was entirely different from the scare of God punishing me that I had faced then and there. This was when my parents had tried to impose it on my psyche when I was 3 years old.

It taught me that we needed to face our fears in real-life situations, just as we face imposed fears within our mindset. It’s simply so because fears arise from instincts within, whereas scares are imposed from outside, making home within the psyche.

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Originally published at https://www.laadiojas.com.