Yes, YOU Too Can Be A Trump Toady!

Yes, YOU Too Can Be A Trump Toady! Just Follow My Easy Instructions Here!

And send me $50 first so you don’t forget!

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You! Yes YOU can be a Tool For Trump just like so many of his followers.

Help him ravage the government!

Stomp Democracy in the face until it croaks!

Gut 250 years of development and history!

Do your part to turn this free land into a third world country!!!

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Do you feel left behind socially and economically?

Do you have to work three jobs just to survive?

Are you in over your head in debt?

Join the team that only knows how to win even if it is cheating!!!

Join us at the Trump Team! The Crew that always wins even when it doesn’t!

We here at Trump Team have found the recipe for success! Use lies and exaggerations to get things done YOUR way! Learn the secret art of fibbing and manipulating your way to success! For every situation there is in society there is an untruth that, if you can get people to believe it, will build a path to your dominating them and saddling them to reach your goals of wealth and conquest and suppressing your enemies- just like our Beloved Fuhrer Trump does!

Learn that Democracy is the ENEMY of Capitalism! Learn that sneaky Capitalism can rot Democracy out from underneath itself. Learn that cheating like the Soviets did and Capitalists do will bring you control over your friends, neighbors and enemies and riches galore!

And who is the master of this modern form of financial conquering? Why none other than our beloved King, Hero and Saviour- Donald J. Trump!!!

Join us at any Trump Institute of Lower Learning to find out how you too can ride the waves of political manipulation into a high paying, prestigious job where you can boss people around, piss off Democrats and Liberals alike and lie and cheat your way into ever higher levels of the government and society as long as you don’t set off Our Great Leader or any of His higher level lackeys! You don’t need any fancy, schmancy diplomas or degrees from phony Liberal and smart-aleck universities, you just have to be a good ole’ boy redneck or good ole girl redneck (just remember ladies though, you will always be behind the guys in line!) for your chance at grabbing as much taxpayer funded government money as you can!

Just look at our Fearless Leader, Donald! He started out in life the hard way, having to be a go-fer under his strong, far sighted father from whom he learned to fleece renters and construction employees and city finances to continue an empire started by his grandfather who ran hotels and bordellos in Canada for those fools going up to look for gold in northern Canada in the early 1900’s. Look at where lying, cheating and connivery got them! A rich grandfather, a millionaire father and now a son who is not only a billionaire but the Predator…er……President of the United States of America! He is the worst President there ever was, but he is President none the less! And he wants to show you how to do the same thing! As long as you don’t cross him, that is! (Very Important Point There- Don’t Cross The Big Guy!!! DON’T FORGET IT!!!).

Here are some of the classes taught by people who were once nobodies and are now somebodies because they followed The Donald’s advice! Now they are Trump Troopers! (Something along the line of being a flunky, but you will still be better off than you were before!)

Lying Out Your Mouth And Getting Away With It. — Learn the subtle art of telling a fib and making it seem like the truth! Learn to twist any falsehood into a story to fool people into following you and maybe even give you money!!!!

Making Someone Else Look Bad So That You Look Good! — A neat trick Christians in positions of power greatly use- Put the blame on someone else to make yourself look fabulously better! Demonize your adversaries! Put your ire on other losers like Biden, the Democrats, Liberals, Poorer Countries, Foreign Leaders and others who do not go along with your agendas like Non-White Races, foreigners in general and other people and states that cannot fight back so easily!

Advertise Your Virtues Whether You Really Have Them Or Not! So what if you dated 15 year old girls when you were 35! So what if you shoot animals in the face because they don’t meet your standards! You used to siphon off tithing in your church to pay for your pornagraphy addiction? All you have to do is claim to be a Christain and kiss Donald’s ring and you are bathed in the Glory of Jesus forevermore! And the blessings of the Republican Party!

Make yourself look like a Saint even if you are guilty as sin! Learn how to white wash your past and discredit those who know the real you! Learn how to pretend to stick up for what the public believes in while doing whatever the hell you want to do anyway when they are not looking! Paint overly dramatic pictures of yourself righting wrongs that weren’t even wrong in the first place! Make people believe you are a God! Better yet, get them to believe you ARE God! Just don’t be a bigger God than Trump is!

Learn how to twist established laws to your advantage. Use old laws from before the Civil War and misrepresent them to your advantage! Redefine the meanings of present laws and twist them to your betterment. Make up new laws that secretly reflect what works to your advantage and profit. Don’t let the laws stop you; you stop the laws! Or make up new ones!

Also ignore present laws that would limit your reach, influence and scope. Donate taxpayer money to Argentina out of a recession, then threaten to take it back if they do not nominate YOUR right wing buddy to be President there. Kill people in boats off the shores of Venezuela claiming to be drug traffickers without really knowing who they really are and even though you are forbidden to carry out assassinations by our own dictates. What are laws for except to be broken! Unless, of course, it is left wingers breaking them!

Learn how to use your new found fame and power to better yourself and your cronies! Peddle self-promoting merchandise made in China that didn’t get charged tariffs on your website and on government publications like t-shirts with your face and quotes on them and rednecks caps that normally no self respecting human would ever wear, but Donald makes them cool! Make oodles of bucks even though it is against the law to profit from your government position. Damn socialists try to ruin every money making scheme! Make up t-shirts blaming them for everything wrong with our system!

Just remember to send $1000 to me NOW to get your “I Wanna Be Like Donald!” kit (be sure to list that as a political donation so we don’t have to pay taxes on it!) Learn right now that taxes are only for ‘the little people’! And that it is OK for me to make oodles of money off of it!!!!