I Stay Away From Men With Facial Hair

I Stay Away From Men With Facial Hair

My sensitive fair skin does not respond well

Photo by Nonsap Visuals on Unsplash

At the very start of any relationship I let my intended know that I dislike facial hair and the reasons why. If they decide to grow a beard or a moustache despite my warning, there’ll be no kisses from me, fair enough? They’ve been warned.

With all his faults (and there were lots), my second husband never grew anything on his face. His surname was Beard and that was enough for me. For 20 years, I was a Beard. I wish my third partner had listened but he has oppositional defiant syndrome and once we we were together, he started growing hair somewhere on his face. When we met, he was clean-shaven with Professor Julius Sumner-Miller white hair. He had a baby face with a cute dimpled chin, so he had no reason to hide it.

Number four was clean-shaven until he dumped me and his new girlfriend told him he looked more distinguished with a beard, so when I saw him in court, he had a straggly grey beard and he looked awful. In my opinion, it added years to him.

I also hate my facial hair. I have one witch’s hair which I need to extract with tweezers. My hands are incapable of doing that at the moment. I suppose I’m lucky that I have just one. Thank goodness I’ve never been a hairy person and I have very little hair anywhere on my body. It’s fair too so can’t be seen unless you have a magnifying glass.

From a young age I’ve always thought a man with a beard is hiding something: bad teeth, bad skin or an ugly chin. Own up to your flaws and face the world clean-shaven. Do men think it’s a sign of manliness if they can grow a beard? Many young men must think this, or is it just the fashion? Is it something they can do that women can’t?

I am lucky that none of my sons have grown beards but they are all good- looking enough not to have to. This is talk-to-text so I tend to be raving on. I have one nearly 5-year-old on my back asleep and a 2 year-old on my side asleep. I’m so uncomfortable. I wish I could sleep too.

Sorry, Sharon, I don’t think I have a whisker story.

Thanks for reading.

July 5: Do you grow whiskers or not? Or, do you like whiskers or not? What is your best whisker story? (Sharon Johnson)

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