Safe Within

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I used to think love, care, and safety had to come from people. I believed if I gave enough, trusted enough, or showed up enough, then surely someone would stay long enough to hold me when the storms came.

But reality humbled me. Not with cruelty, but with silence.

There were nights when my heart felt heavy, and I needed someone to talk to. I would reach out, only to find that even the best of friends or family, are not always available emotionally or physically. Not because they don’t care, not because they don’t love us, but you know… it’s because they’re also human. They also had their own storms to fight, their own moods to battle, their own distractions to navigate.

There were moments where I thought, “If only you knew how much I needed you now…” but they couldn’t, or didn’t, see it. Countless times I argued with myself, wondering why I was always expecting, always waiting for someone to be there.

Until one day, someone told me, almost casually: “Don’t always expect people to be there. Not even me.” At first, my heart sank, like even you? But slowly, I accepted it. And strangely, life felt lighter once I did.

That truth grew roots when I remembered my brother’s saying, and I always quote: “He who expects nothing, regrets nothing in return.”

And honestly, I think that’s the balance. It’s understanding that people can love you deeply yet fail you unintentionally. It’s not wrong to lean on others, but I would say it’s dangerous to make them your only source of peace. You don’t have to shut everyone out , you just have to build an inner refuge so strong that when others falter, you don’t collapse with them.

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So I began to change. I stopped pouring all of myself into expectations. I stopped demanding constancy from people who were still figuring out their own lives. Instead, I learned to sit with myself, to comfort myself first, to build a sanctuary within my own heart.

If you’re here for me, I’ll appreciate it. If you’re not, I’ll appreciate that too. Because now I know my safety is not in the hands of another, it’s in mine.

I became my own safe place. Not because I stopped needing love, but because I finally realized the most important love story is the one I write with myself. And in this story, I do not abandon me.