And suddenly it’s December and you’re not 17 anymore.

And suddenly it’s December and you’re not 17 anymore. You haven’t been 17 for a long time, but sometimes you need to remind yourself of that.

Sometimes it feels funny and a bit strange when you slow down and realize that all this time, you’ve been living life while still feeling young. In the real world, you’re not even 25 yet, but you’re already at the age where you have to pay your own taxes. Social expectations can feel harsh, as if there are milestones you should have reached, even though your journey has barely started.

It’s not easy to choose between letting life flow on its own and watching where it takes you, or feeling like everything needs to be measured. Sometimes life feels like it has to be turned into numbers so you can prove something, until the subjective parts of living slowly fade.

Seventeen. For many people, it’s the best age. Old enough to feel grown because you finally have an ID card or a driver’s license, but still too young to make the right decisions. Who would imagine that five years later, you’d look back and regret the choices you made at that age, or maybe the choices you made right after.

Seventeen is the age when you believe you’ll live forever. When you try different things just to feel alive and young. Seventeen is romance funded by daily allowance, white and grey uniforms, and simple dates where you talk about annoying teachers. Seventeen is when life is still structured and disciplined, and then just two years later you suddenly have to manage everything on your own. You become responsible for your choices and all the consequences that come with them.

Sometimes I miss being 17. Those Saturday nights on the toll road at 1 a.m. with The Nights by Avicii playing loud. Now my days are filled with Let Down by Radiohead or Lost Stars by Keira Knightley.

Seventeen. I wish I could go back.