The Paradox of High Ownership

This writing is about a discussion I did with my husband about how I need to proceed with the current state of my career.

No, my husband wasn’t somekind of career coach or HR professional, he’s just a wise man seeing life through stoicism.

This is about how I was upset about the system I trusted and how bad the political game inside it. A condition where I contributed well and brought impact on product strategy, yet there are some people offended about it. I know what made them offended, it’s my role — UX Writer. I was upset that they take my ideas while at the same time kick me out of the arena.

The more I thought about it, the more I felt upset. I feel like somekind of ownership feeling lingering through my veins. Thinking that the strategy will work as planned, seeing the other competitors work on the same strategy I worked on, and yeah, we got nothing at all. We lost the momentum.

But…

Rethinking about it, I didn’t need to be upset, did I? Because the fact that the project wasn’t go as it’s originally planned made it way worse than I expected it could be — I mean, worse for next plan which will be easier if the core strategy go as planned.

It’s sucks. The internalized feeling of high ownership, where I keep on thinking about the fact that I was upset, I was sad that everything might go better, and the fact that everyone didn’t go to the direction I see better.

Thus I got a good mantra for that;

“See? I told ya. Look at your plan, it even worse than mine.”

This is not me being arrogant or something. It’s somekind of defense mechanism that I choose so that I didn’t feel guilty, didn’t blame myself for what we missed, and not pushing myself deeper into high ownership that comes with zero appreciation.