How GLP1s Made Me Really Sick

Weight loss drugs are terrific for some people, but not for everyone. This is my story.

THE BACKGROUND

I’ve been joking for years about my weight. I say that my ancestors were a hearty sort, able to birth many babies, and carry heavy things. We’re stocky. We’re strong. We are big women.

Of course, not all of that is true. I have no idea who my ancestors were, although after a DNA sequencing test, I learned that I do indeed have some Viking DNA in me (about 11%). My grandmother was petite, so not all the women in my family are stocky.

I’m a size 14. I feel good in my body. When I see pictures of me, though, I’m embarrassed. (Who is that pudgy woman with the greying hair and plump cheeks and big belly? Are you telling me, that’s ME?)

I don’t particularly want to lose weight. I’m happy with who I am and my husband loves me. And from years of trying, I know what I need to do to lose weight: I need to starve.

Following diets doesn’t work for me. I do really ‘good’ for a while and then I binge. Or I become so hyper focused on what I’m eating that thoughts of food control everything, to the point of being obsessive compulsive about it. I can lose weight but it involves NOT eating and exercising obsessively. This isn’t healthy either. My body is happy as a size 14 and it works hard to stay there.

It’s complicated. I want to be healthy and I want to be attractive, and to be that, I need to be thin (I also need to be young. This is what I’ve learned from society. I’m not saying this is a healthy way of thinking, it’s just the pressure I feel. I NEED to be thin, even if I don’t WANT to be.)

Here’s the thing though: I love food. I love cooking. If I cook for you, it’s a way I say that I love you. It’s my hug, because real hugs aren’t natural for me. Food is sensory for me. Cooking food is relaxing and creative. It is a nourishing part of my life. When I’m on a diet, the thing I love, becomes a thing I must hate. So I don’t really want to lose weight.

But maybe I need to.

THE HEALTH THING

Over the last few years, I’ve had multiple health issues/symptoms, and each time I went to the doctor, they told me that all my labs were normal. (I fucking hate that phrase.) And maybe I should lose weight.

I told them that’s part of the problem. I can’t lose weight without starving myself. Literally. Here were my symptoms:

• Nausea
• Vomiting
• Inability to lose weight — even on a diet and with exercise
• Reflux
• Rash around my neck (insulin sensitivity?)
• Inability to sleep through the night
• Severe fatigue during the day especially in the afternoon
• Intense cravings for salty things
• Mild cravings for sweet things
• Chewing ice
• Severe anxiety
• High blood pressure

They tested my thyroid, checked my labs, whatever. And didn’t find anything. “Maybe it’s anxiety,” the doctors said. “Maybe you just need to try to lose weight harder.”

I wanted to feel better. The nausea and occasional vomiting were getting worse. Sometimes, I’d choke for no reason. I’d swallow air wrong or inhale wrong.

I had to do something.

I asked for a GLP-1 prescription. I’ve heard about the miraculous-ness of this. My food noise would go, I’d feel full (what’s that like?), I’d lose weight, my insulin levels would normalize. I’d get thin and I’d be attractive again.

Though the doctors said I was obese, they still wouldn’t give me a prescription. So, I went online.

I got the weight loss drugs. I got a subscription for compounded Ozempic.

THE EXPERIENCE

Last spring, I tried a compounded Ozempic. It went well at first, and then, things got really bad. I got sick. Really sick.

I started throwing up routinely. I felt like I was carrying a rock in my stomach. No matter what I ate, or fiber supplements I took, I couldn’t go to the bathroom. I could feel food sitting in my esophagus and stomach and not digesting. It seemed like my whole digestive track just stopped functioning.

I had a sharp consistent pain in my gut. I had a burning sensation in my chest, about half the size of my fist, right under my breastbone. I wrote to the online company. I told them I was throwing up and nauseous, in pain and constipated. “Nausea and constipation is totally normal. You’ll adjust. Just keep taking the drug.”

So I did. I was nauseous every moment of every day. The idea of food made me ill. And then I was ill.

Very.

While talking to my friend on the phone one day and walking, something I do all the time, I suddenly felt my heart tighten. “I have to go,” I said. I didn’t even make it to my doorstep. I started vomiting. And vomiting and vomiting.

My heart clenched.

I was having a heart attack. I knew I was. The pain was unlike anything I’ve experienced. I was clammy and frightened. My gut hurt. My heart hurt. The burning in my chest was consistent. I could feel it. Like something inside me was on fire. And I couldn’t stop vomiting.

I called my husband to take me to the ER.

The ER visit showed a gall bladder infection, gall bladder sludge, and an enlarged liver. They gave me pain medication and nausea meds.

Then they sent me home.

TESTS

I went in for additional tests. I had an endoscopy and a gall bladder test.

My gall bladder wasn’t working properly. Most people who have gall bladder problems have gallstones or an underworking gallbladder. Mine was the opposite. No gall stones and I had an overworking gallbladder. It had a 91% fraction (?) rate, which meant as soon as I ate something, my system was flooded with all the gallbladder type things for processing food. (Hi, bile and heartburn.) A healthy fraction rate is something like 11–80%.

I also had a ring around my esophagus which can make eating tricky, and choking a possibility.

The doctor said we’d monitor things but that he’d never taken out someone’s gallbladder for it over functioning. An over functioning gall bladder was asymptomatic.

Really?

Then came weeks of more vomiting. I stopped taking Ozempic. I literally couldn’t stomach it.

Even off the drug, the pain came back and so did the vomiting. A month later, I had eight hours of it before I couldn’t take it anymore. I went back to the ER. They did more scans.

I had polyps just about everywhere: kidney, ovaries, gall bladder, colon. Whatever. I had a hiatal hernia. I had an inflamed esophagus. But my labs were normal and all the things I had were asymptomatic. There was nothing wrong with me. Maybe I was just anxious. Maybe if I lost weight…

After the last ER trip, they scheduled me to see a gastroenterologist, and the gastroenterologist listened to me and scheduled a consultation with a different doctor. He said the gallbladder needed to come out.

WHAT CAUSED IT?

It’s a known side effect that GLP1s can cause gallbladder or pancreas infections and complications. Was my gall bladder already over-working? Were the years of symptoms because of my anxiety or was it my gall bladder slowly dying that caused my issues? Was my gall bladder the issue all along? Or did the GLP1 cause the gall bladder issue?

Hard to say.

In the summer, I went in for surgery.

The gallbladder came out. They found it was filled with tiny polyps and called it a strawberry gallbladder.

I felt almost instantaneous relief. The burning pain in my breastbone was gone. My body started processing food correctly again. My anxiety subsided. The nausea and vomiting passed.

But I was still a size 14.

THE FOLLOW UP

At my next doctor appointment, they told me I was obese and needed to lose weight. Could I perhaps try to lose weight harder? Or perhaps I was just an anxious person and should see a therapist. (I’ve seen them. We know I have an anxiety disorder. I would guess I also have a sensory processing issue. I’m a walking ball of exposed nerves and sensitivity.)

The doctor suggested — again — weight loss medication. This time, they prescribed it. I didn’t have a gall bladder anymore, so I should be fine taking the drugs.

My insurance wouldn’t cover it.

My doctor recommended trying Zepbound. It was easier on the system.

So I went online, found a different company and ordered compounded tirzepatide.

I tried it.

MY EXPERIENCE WITH ZEPBOUND

A few months after my gall bladder was removed, I decided to try GLP1s again. I was feeling so much better, and if it was my gall bladder all along, then maybe I could stomach a different GLP1. I felt pummeled by constant ads for it, as if the algorithm knew I was overweight and needed to ‘do something about it’.

It didn’t matter if I felt good in my body, or my husband told me how cute I was. What mattered was the constant feedback every time I went to the doctor that at size 14 with a BMI of 31, I was obese and needed to lose weight.

I think I felt (or the doctors felt) that because my labs were still ‘normal’ that if there was anything wrong with me, it had to be because I was overweight OR it was just anxiety (and thus all in my head.)

This time, I went with a different online GLP1 provider and decided to try Tirzepatide AKA Zepbound. I’d read that it had a different formula than Ozempic, and seemed to have lesser side effects and the weight loss seemed to work faster in people.

I started with the lowest dose. Within minutes of taking the first, smallest dose, I was again nauseous, so I also took the Zofran they prescribed. “Nausea, constipation, and occasional vomiting are all possible side effects and completely normal,” the research told me. I just needed to tough it out and let my body get used to it.

I lost all interest in food, and that depressed me. Eating, this thing of nourishment and joy, became something I dreaded. I felt full, yes, but food also didn’t taste good. And when I ate, it seemed to sit in my gut undigested for a long time.

I added in Grüns gummies to help with constipation and getting my daily vitamins, I added in a teaspoon of Benefiber to my morning coffee like the doctor suggested. I ate lentils and salad and popcorn and fresh fruit and vegetables, things with high fiber. Things that would help me ‘go’.

A month later, the company raised my dosage to the second level, .5 or something. I hadn’t really lost much weight and the food noise and hunger were still present, even though I found no joy or relief in eating.

AND THEN I GOT SICK

Within an hour or so of taking the higher dose, I threw up. Maybe the overnight oats were too much for me. Maybe I shouldn’t have had a clementine.

Then over the next few days, I couldn’t go to the bathroom. I was beyond constipated. I was in severe pain.

Three days after the higher dose, I started to feel a horrible pain in my gut. I knew it was because I hadn’t gone to the bathroom, but what was scary is that I felt like I couldn’t go. Like something was wrong. Really really wrong.

I took a double dose of Dulcolax. I waited. I had lentils with brown rice for lunch. And then, about an hour later, I started throwing up. Again. Violently. Awfully.

This time the pain in my gut felt like a wound, like someone stabbing me. I don’t know if it was the pain or the constipation, likely both, that made me throw up again and again, but that’s what happened.

Finally, I went to the bathroom. Just a little, but enough that some of the pain lessened. Over the next eight hours or so, I was in the bathroom, or curled up on the couch, sweating, in pain, and exhausted, praying to go to the bathroom. I finally did, but I wasn’t okay. I felt terrible.

All of this because I didn’t want to be a size 14 anymore.

I wanted to be thin.

My husband came home and by that time I was feeling better. I told him I’d been afraid of going to the hospital again.

He said, “Why are you doing this? You are beautiful just as you are,” or something to that effect.

I couldn’t answer him.

Why was I doing this?

Because according to doctors and society, I was obese, and I needed to be thin and pretty and being thin would also make me healthy.

SIDE EFFECTS

There is a condition that is a common side effect of GLP1s called gastroparesis. It’s a condition where the stomach stops working. From the Mayo Clinic: “Muscles contract to send food through the digestive tract. But with gastroparesis, the stomach’s movement, called motility, slows or doesn’t work at all. This keeps the stomach from emptying well.”

I don’t have a definitive answer for what happened to me on GLP1s, but I think that my stomach stopped working at all. So, on compounded Ozempic, I had a gall bladder infection, gastro problems, gall bladder attacks, and then surgery. And then on Zepbound, my stomach just stopped digesting.

The GLP1s I used were compounded, so it’s possible that was an issue too. But after my husband asked me why I was doing this to myself, I had to answer honestly, “Because I want to be skinny.”

But being skinny isn’t worth being sick, or going to the hospital, having attacks of pain and vomiting. Being skinny isn’t everything.

In fact, being skinny, for me, in this way, is downright deadly.

GENETIC TESTING

In an effort to deep dive into my health, I took a genetic sequencing test from 23 and Me. (I might write more about the reason why I decided to do this and what I’ve learned.) They’re still doing the sequencing, but I found out some interesting things on the first pass of data.

All my life, I’ve told people I have a sensitive stomach and I seem to be sensitive to drugs, to touch, to smells, to tastes. It turns out there’s a gene for being sensitive to drugs, and I have it. It’s called CYP2C19 rapid metabolizer.

So, in all my years of telling doctors I was sensitive, what they heard was “I’m hysterical. These things are all in my head.” But really, I have a fucking gene that means I process drugs (and food?) differently than others. Faster.

I haven’t seen any studies, but it may be why GLP1s are particularly difficult for me. My body, and this little gene, cannot handle it.

I find comfort in having a medical explanation for my body’s response to GLP1s.

I am sensitive, yes, but in a way that is written in my DNA. And those sensitivities, while sometimes problematic, also make me good at writing, at acting, and being artistic.

I’m sensitive to my entire environment externally, but also as it turns out, internally too.

CONCLUSION

Whatever you decide about weight loss of GLP1s, I hope this article has helped. I wanted to tell people of my experience because some side effects are not just things you push through. Sometimes, your body is telling you to STOP. You’re not being hysterical, or weak, or not committed. You’re being smart to listen to what your body is telling you.

My body was telling me to STOP. And so I did.

I’ve been off Zepbound for a month. I haven’t vomited once. I’m not nauseous. Food is comforting and nourishing again. I’ve pulled back on my portions and I’m walking more. Walking is also helping to lower my anxiety levels.

I still want to be thin, but I also want to be 26 again instead of 52, so now I’m working on the peculiar experience of trying to love who I am now, how I am now, and to move through the world with joy and confidence, no matter what my body looks like. Life is a gift and I am thankful for every moment I’m around to enjoy it.

THOUGHTS AND ADVICE

Find what works for you, but also, if you’re experiencing severe side effects, ask your doctor. Explore possibilities. Could this be a gall bladder infection, pancreatitis, gastroparesis? Could it be more serious than something you need to just push through and accept as a side effect?

Ask questions. Get your doctor to help you and to listen. And when they say all your problems might be because of your weight, ask them if there are any other causes. Could it be hormonal, a bad gall bladder, something happening in your intestinal tract? Are the other possibilities instead of just your weight?

Tell them you are in tune with your body, and your body knows when it is hurting. You deserve to be heard, to be seen, to be believed, and above all, you deserve not to be blamed for how you look, for your weight, or for what you are feeling.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tanya is an audiobook narrator, a writer, and a coach for creatives. She enjoys cooking, paint by numbers, classic movies, scary stories, Bigfoot, cryptids, and mushrooms. She lives in Michigan on a lake with her husband, their dogs, the chickens, and has regular visits from their 4 adult kids. You can find Tanya online on Instagram, on Audible with over 1300 titles, or on her Substack page: https://tanyaebylife.substack.com/