David Cameron Accused of Sex Act With a Dead Pig

David Cameron Accused of Sex Act With a Dead Pig

David Cameron Accused of Sex Act With a Dead Pig: Conservative British Prime Minister David Cameron has as yet failed to respond to allegations made in a newly published book that he once inserted his penis into a dead pig head during an initiation ceremony into a secretive society while he was attending Oxford University.

Oh, Lard have mercy! What a horrible revelation! Who could have squealed on him? Lucky for him he didn’t end up with swine flu. You know, Cameron’s has always been a man who walks the walk and talks the talk — and now apparently — he also porks the pork. Bet a revelation like this has to make his wife feel a bit uneasy the next time he calls her “Babe” or asks for a pulled pork sandwich.

And folks, this isn’t the sort of story one can just dismiss by claiming that they’ve always been an animal lover. News sources say that so far, Cameron has not uttered the obligatory “I did not have sexual relations with that pig!” And political analysts are speculating that the pig must have been quite poor, otherwise, why would a conservative want to screw it?

And if you think this is an embarrassment to Cameron’s family, just think how the pig’s family must feel. Rumor has it the pig’s last words were “well, that was disappointing.” Almost makes you long for the good old days when this type of activity was limited to sheep.

Apparently, when Cameron’s parents told him about the birds and the bees, they neglected to mention dead pigs. Startled folks in the UK say that if there is anything at all positive to come out of all this, it would probably be that at least he didn’t kiss the pig right on the lips.

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