How To Make Any Conversation About Your UTI

“I’ll have a cranberry vodka, hold the vodka.”

Illustration by Katy Maiolatesi

By Laura Berlinsky-Schine Illustrated by Katy Maiolatesi

Pool Party

“Did you know hot tubs can cause UTIs? I learned the hard way.”

Business Lunch

“Water for me. Lots and lots of water.”

Happy Hour

“I’ll have a cranberry vodka, hold the vodka. I’m on antibiotics right now because of this UTI. The cranberry juice is for the UTI.”

Lighting Birthday Candles

“Now something else is burning. And not just when I’m peeing.”

Giving Directions

“Make a right at the pharmacy right over there, where I just picked up my prescription for Cipro.”

Baby Shower

“You know who else needs diapers sometimes?”

First Date

“I want you to know that we’re going to have to wait at least five to seven days to have sex.”

***Laura Berlinsky-Schine *is a writer based in Brooklyn with her rescue dog/demigod, Hercules. Say hi on Instagram/*Bluesky, and read her work at lauraberlinskyschine.com*

***Katy Maiolatesi *is a comedy writer and artist in Chicago. Check her out at @kmaiolatesi on Instagram, Bluesky, and at katymaiolatesi.com.