Living Through Faith Before We Can See

“Question: On one hand, you talk about faith above reason. On the other hand, there is no faith at all in Kabbalah but only attainment. What does it mean?

Answer: Faith above reason is attainment. Faith is the quality of bestowal, the quality of Binah. Bestowal above egoism is called faith above reason. With the help of this condition, a person discovers the upper world by himself.

There is nothing you can do about the fact that the concept of faith has been distorted in our world. Everything in our world is distorted.

Only a person who has risen to the quality of bestowal can we say is a believer.” From Rav Dr. Michael Laitman from KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah” 9/24/17

There is a strange and painful stage on the spiritual path where a person lives between two realities.

One reality is obvious, immediate, and tangible. It is the reality we were born into. In it, we feel ourselves at the center of existence. Every thought, every desire, every fear, every calculation naturally revolves around a single point: ourselves. We instinctively measure everything according to what benefits us, what harms us, what pleases us, what threatens us, and what justifies our existence.

This reality feels unquestionable because it is all we have ever known.

The other reality is hidden.

We cannot see it.

We cannot feel it.

We cannot prove it.

And yet something within us whispers that it is more real than everything we presently perceive.

It is the reality governed by the Creator alone.

A reality where every event, every encounter, every joy and every sorrow emerges from a single source of absolute goodness and purpose.

A reality where separation does not truly exist.

A reality where all souls are connected within a single living body.

A reality where giving is greater than receiving, where unity is greater than individuality, and where love is more fundamental than self-preservation.

The problem is that we do not actually feel this reality.

At least not yet.

And so the spiritual path begins with an apparent contradiction.

We are asked to live according to a truth we cannot yet perceive.

Acting According to the Future

Imagine a child learning to walk.

He falls repeatedly.

Every attempt seems to prove that walking is impossible.

Yet something compels him to continue.

He acts according to a future state he has not yet achieved.

He behaves as though walking already belongs to him.

Without that inner certainty, he would remain on the ground forever.

The spiritual journey is similar.

A person is asked to relate to life as though the Creator’s governance were already visible.

As though every event carried a purpose.

As though every descent concealed an ascent.

As though every obstacle were an invitation to draw closer.

As though every friend carried an eternal spark.

As though there truly were none else besides the single force guiding existence.

This does not mean pretending.

It does not mean lying to ourselves.

It does not mean denying pain, confusion, or inner contradictions.

Rather, it means choosing the direction of our development before possessing the perception that confirms it.

Faith is not closing our eyes.

Faith is walking toward a horizon we cannot yet see.

The Tyranny of Self

The greatest obstacle is not external.

It is the relentless voice of self-concern.

Every moment it asks:

“What will happen to me?”

“What will I gain?”

“What will I lose?”

“Why should I sacrifice anything?”

“Why should I love those whom I naturally reject?”

“Why should I justify what appears unjustifiable?”

This voice never sleeps.

It accompanies every thought and every feeling.

It interprets reality exclusively through personal benefit.

Even our noblest aspirations are often secretly recruited into its service.

This is why spiritual work is so difficult.

We are not merely changing behaviors.

We are attempting to rise above the very operating system through which we perceive existence.

And from within that system, the higher reality appears absurd.

The ego cannot understand why anyone would prefer giving to receiving.

It cannot understand why connection should be valued above personal advantage.

It cannot understand why one should continue striving when no reward is visible.

To the ego, faith appears irrational.

To the soul, it is the only bridge forward.

Existing “As If”

At the beginning, a person possesses only fragments.

A few moments of inspiration.

A fleeting sensation of purpose.

A brief awakening that disappears as quickly as it arrived.

Then the old perception returns.

The world becomes ordinary again.

The heart grows cold.

The Creator seems distant.

The goal appears imaginary.

Everything once felt becomes doubtful.

Yet precisely here the true work begins.

The task is to continue living as though those moments were true.

To continue valuing connection.

To continue honoring the higher goal.

To continue seeking the Creator.

To continue believing that reality is governed by goodness.

To continue striving toward unity.

Not because we feel it.

Not because we understand it.

But because we choose it.

The words “as if” contain immense power.

A person who continually acts as though the higher reality exists gradually builds an inner vessel capable of perceiving it.

What begins as imagination slowly becomes sensitivity.

What begins as sensitivity becomes perception.

What begins as faith becomes experience.

The Secret of the Hidden World

The hiddenness itself serves a purpose.

If the Creator’s reality were openly revealed from the beginning, nobody would resist it.

Everyone would naturally run toward the greatest pleasure.

The entire world would become righteous overnight.

But such righteousness would belong to self-interest.

People would serve truth because it paid well.

They would love because love was profitable.

They would bestow because bestowal felt good.

Nothing within them would actually change.

Therefore the higher reality remains concealed.

Not as punishment.

Not as abandonment.

But as an act of mercy.

The concealment creates a space where genuine transformation can occur.

It allows a person to choose what is true before it becomes advantageous.

It allows the heart to develop a new nature.

It allows love to emerge independently of reward.

The Pain of the Middle State

Perhaps the most painful stage of all is the period between the two realities.

The old world no longer satisfies.

Yet the new world has not been attained.

A person feels suspended.

Unable to return.

Unable to arrive.

The ego still rules, yet its promises feel increasingly hollow.

The Creator remains hidden, yet His absence becomes unbearable.

One lives in a state of longing.

A state of tension.

A state of constant contradiction.

Part of the heart belongs to the earth.

Part of it already belongs elsewhere.

This condition can feel like exile.

Yet it is also the birthplace of faith.

For faith is not needed when everything is visible.

Faith becomes necessary only in darkness.

Only when the destination remains hidden.

Only when the path must be chosen without certainty.

The Birth of a New Perception

Gradually, through countless efforts, something begins to change.

Not outside.

Inside.

The center of gravity shifts.

The individual no longer measures life exclusively through personal gain and loss.

Another criterion begins to emerge.

The question changes from:

“What do I want?”

to

“What does the Creator want?”

From:

“What benefits me?”

to

“What brings me closer to similarity with Him?”

From:

“How do I protect myself?”

to

“How do I contribute to the whole?”

The world remains the same.

Yet perception becomes different.

The person starts sensing the hidden thread connecting all events.

The Creator’s hand begins to appear behind circumstances.

Moments of unity become more tangible than moments of separation.

Giving begins to taste sweeter than receiving.

Faith slowly transforms into perception.

And then one realizes that the hidden reality was never absent.

It had always been present.

Only our self-centered nature prevented us from seeing it.

Living Before Seeing

The essence of spiritual life is therefore not waiting until we can see.

It is learning to live according to the truth before seeing it.

To exist according to the Creator’s reality while still feeling our own.

To choose unity while feeling separation.

To choose love while feeling rejection.

To choose bestowal while feeling self-love.

To choose the Creator while feeling only ourselves.

This is the miracle of faith.

Not blind belief.

Not imagination.

Not self-deception.

But the courageous decision to live according to a higher reality before it becomes visible.

And it is precisely this choice, repeated thousands of times against the testimony of our present perception, that eventually gives birth to an entirely new way of seeing, feeling, and existing.

A way of life in which faith is no longer merely believed.

It becomes reality itself.

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