Born Dark Born Judged

Why is fair skin still treated like a prize in Indian families?

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Disclaimer: This reflects my experience and is not meant to generalize an entire community.

My neighbors are dark-skinned South Asians from a coastal region that used to be a playground for British, Portuguese, and Dutch ships from back in the day.

Life went on till they had their second child, who could easily pass for Caucasian.

Then the rumors began — from their own friend circle.

That the woman was having an affair with the postman, who happened to be white, and so on.

Some of the jabs were to her face.

The reality was that her grandmother was of mixed blood, complete with a light skin tone and green eyes. Her great-grandfather was British.

Somehow, the genes skipped a few generations and popped up in her son.

Family pictures often bring up the question of whether the second child is adopted.

When they visit their home country, the second child is revered while the mom remembers the house help exclaiming “എന്തൊരു കറുപ്പ്!” when her first child was born.

That literally means, “Goodness, the child is so dark!”

It’s not just my neighbor. I have observed that racism and discrimination also exist in the Indian community in the US, even though it is not widely talked about.

When I am with the Northies (North Indians), it is not uncommon to hear the older generation refer to Southies (South Indians) as ‘Idli Vada Sambar’, Madrasi, or make fun of South Indian men who wear lungis (The lungi is a men’s skirt usually tied around the lower waist below the navel).

On the other hand, if you are lighter-skinned, you are instantly elevated. Often, you are seen as having a higher social status.

And it doesn’t stop at how people read you in public.

My parents are from Kerala, a coastal region in India, which was once a major trading hub for British ships. My mother has light brown skin. In her family, it is interesting that of her seven siblings, the first few took after my grandmother, who was light-skinned.

At child number four, the skin tone changed to brown, then grew progressively darker with the youngest, being very dark.

It is not unheard of to discriminate within one’s own family in India.

And for those siblings to have a harder time making marriage matches because fair skin is still highly desired.

I know of many people who only want to marry fair women in the hopes their progeny will be born that way.

Unsurprisingly, if you take two identical twins, chances are the fairer one will be considered the prettier one, even though they have the same features. Because again, for some weird reason, attractiveness seems to be tied to skin color.

No wonder it leads to self-esteem issues, low confidence, and an inferiority complex when one hears such insensitive comments from a young age.

Of course, younger generations are faring much better. With education and busy careers, people have less time to be bothered by how light or dark they are.

Or are they?

Given the number of commercials advertising young people oohing and ahhing over products guaranteed to lighten skin in just seven days, it seems color is still very much in the limelight.

Like when I hear about young moms being fed milk and saffron so their child is born fair.

The seed is being unconsciously planted in their mind, as generations before her.

What purpose is served by looking down on someone for the skin they were born in?

I don’t know. I’ve seen it too many times in too many different ways to pretend it makes sense, or that it’s going anywhere on its own.

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