Bang Your Head Against the Wall – or Just Go Live

Bang Your Head Against the Wall – or Just Go Live

I think that when it comes to love and life, you have two choices: you can either bang your head against the wall, or say, “Screw it,” go have fun, and then love will come – or it won’t. Either way, it’s fine.

Photo by Aziz Acharki on Unsplash

It sounds almost too simple, but I think most of us spend years learning this lesson the hard way. We convince ourselves that if we care enough, love will reward us. If we’re patient enough, attractive enough, available enough, forgiving enough, maybe someone will finally choose us. We treat love like it’s a prize given to the people who endure the most.

But that’s not how it works.

At some point, you realize that chasing something doesn’t make it chase you back. You can spend months trying to decode mixed signals, reread conversations, wonder why they left you on read, question whether you were too much or not enough, and convince yourself that one more conversation, one more chance, or one more apology will change everything.

Most of the time, it doesn’t.

All it changes is how much of yourself you’re willing to sacrifice for an outcome you were never in control of.

The truth is, no amount of overthinking has ever made someone love you. You can’t negotiate your way into someone’s heart. You can’t guilt someone into seeing your worth. You can’t earn love by suffering for it.

So maybe the better option is to stop treating love like a deadline.

Go live.

Wake up early just to watch the sunrise. Walk until your legs hurt because you took the long way home. Travel somewhere you’ve never been, even if it’s only the next town over. Sit in cafés by yourself. Read books that change the way you think. Learn to cook something complicated. Start going to the gym. Learn an instrument. Dance in your room. Say yes to opportunities that scare you a little.

Build a life that excites you even on the days when nobody is texting you good morning.

Fall in love with cities before you fall in love with people. Collect memories instead of disappointments. Let your camera roll fill with sunsets, blurry concert videos, train tickets, and pictures of meals that tasted better than they looked.

Become the kind of person who has so much going on that love becomes an addition to your life instead of the foundation holding it together.

Because here’s the thing nobody tells you: the happiest people I’ve met aren’t the ones who found love first. They’re the ones who found themselves first. Love simply joined them along the way.

And maybe that’s the irony of it all.

The more desperately you chase love, the further away it seems to drift. But when you start chasing your own life – your goals, your friendships, your passions, your peace – you suddenly become someone who isn’t waiting anymore. You’re living.

If love comes, welcome it with open arms.

Love deeply. Kiss in the rain if you want to. Buy them flowers just because it’s Tuesday. Hold their hand while crossing the street. Tell them you’re proud of them. Build traditions together. Let yourself experience the ridiculous, inconvenient, can’t-stop-smiling kind of love that poets have been writing about forever.

But if it doesn’t…

You’ll still have stories to tell.

You’ll still have countries you’ve explored, songs that remind you of summers you’ll never forget, friends who became family, books with folded corners, dreams you’ve chased, mornings you spent watching the sea, and nights where you laughed so hard your stomach hurt.

You’ll still have yourself.

Maybe that’s what growing up really is.

It’s realizing that happiness can’t depend on one person. That your life shouldn’t pause while waiting for someone else to arrive. That being alone isn’t the same thing as being incomplete.

Love is one of the most beautiful things life has to offer.

But so is freedom.

So is curiosity.

So is adventure.

So is waking up and realizing your happiness no longer depends on a notification from someone who isn’t thinking about you.

Maybe love will find you next week.

Maybe next year.

Maybe when you’re least expecting it.

Or maybe your life will simply become so full that you’ll stop measuring it by your relationship status altogether.

Either way, you’ll have won.

Because a life well lived is never a consolation prize.

So yes, I think that when it comes to love and life, you have two choices: you can either bang your head against the wall, or say, “Screw it,” go have fun, and then love will come – or it won’t.

Either way, it’s fine.

Either way, you’ll be just fine.

Writers, bring your chaos, your charm, and your half-baked drafts — ***Beyond Lines*** is ready for the beautiful mess. Let’s publish it!

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