The Last Thing I Need Today Is a Health Scare

Health

The Last Thing I Need Today Is a Health Scare

I got called back after my routine breast screen

Keep off my boobs — Photo by Rebekah Vos on Unsplash

Not sure whether to be worried.

I got that call today—the one you dread.

I was pleased I made an effort to have a breast screen, to undergo a mammogram. The chance to have my flesh squeezed painfully between glass plates, naked waist up, manipulated by a kind lady into difficult positions to get the angles right.

The clinic was in a mobile unit, with ladies all squeezed into a converted truck in a car park, which wasn’t perhaps the most salubrious place to have one done, but it was convenient.

It was just a routine check. No issue is expected. I am ticking a box. At 56, I must ensure I keep up to date with them.

Today I got that call. Fortunately, I was working at home without anyone to observe my distress.

“Can you come in for a thorough check? Some anomaly on your screen, a change from your previous one. Classified as low risk, but best to be sure.”

The lady on the phone must make these calls every day. I feel for her; reactions must vary. Mine was pragmatic and matter-of-fact. Nothing to worry about, surely.

When I put the phone down, my husband asked. What was that about? He must have picked up on the vibes. My tone of voice was tense, clipped, and came across as too detached, being brave.

In tears soon after, I hiccuped through what had just been explained. Ever supportive, my husband helped, rubbed my shoulders, talked about practical things, and offered to come with me and hold my hand.

I shrugged it off. It’ll be fine. Just a precaution. They are doing their job, being thorough.

So I googled it. I’m having a 3D mammogram, an ultrasound and, if needed, a biopsy on the spot, with results in seven days. Those seven days are going to be the longest ever.

Surely it won’t come to that!

Tomorrow, I have to be there early, put on a brave face, endure the tests, be positive and see what happens.

There is nothing I can do tonight to change the outcome.

But resolutely, I decide to start taking more care of myself, to make the most of every moment, and not to wait to live life to the full but do it now.

Secretly I check my life assurance and critical illness policies. Will we be okay? Do we have enough if I can’t work or….die?

Too soon.

Let’s see what tomorrow brings.

Already thinking too far ahead — Adobe Stock 140638598

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