Today’s Trash: Trippin’ Pippin

What is pippin [CoinMarketCrap: PIPPIN ] ?

Rough week for pippin, it’s down over 40% in the last 7 days.

🎵 Last Christmas, it gave you its heart; fifty-one cents, and a half a bill. This year, to save you from tears, sell that dung and give proceeds to someone special…SPE-shul 🎵

Oh! You’ve never heard of the mighty pippin cryptocurrency?

It’s worth over a quarter of a billion dollars and trades in the top 200 cryptocurrencies on CoinMarketCap (a site owned and controlled by CZ/Binance), and that’s down from a half billion.

pippin (no caps are used which means it’s “rad”) trades $23mm per day vs. SOL (as the trade-pair denominator) on exchange Raydium (whatever that is?). Next it trades on Binance, so you KNOW it’s high quality (Tether paired, the other indicator of quality in crypto). Other pieces of shit exchanges which traffic in this nonsense are the usual crooked suspects: Gate, MEXC, JSun’s HTX, FenBushi’s [1] BitMart, and many other exchanges of weak reputation.

Founding

Sometime in the last two months of 2024, it was launched as a “community meme coin” on pump.fun from a goofie-assed image of a unicorn. Get this: AI creator (oxymoron?) Yohei Nakajima copy-pasta’d from ChatGPT-r the image, which then became a Solana token. Poof! $500 million was created out of thin air by (Last) Christmas 2025 (weeks ago).

How much did pippin founders pay for this intense time-consuming work of art?

VOLUME

The first pippin volume found which MIGHT have a legitimate volume number is a USDC pair from crooked MEXC: $55k as of Jan 30 for 24 hours of volume (Thursday-Friday). Next is CEX.io which has a US Dollar pairing with $313 of trading in 24 hours and pippin ranks #149 in traded pairs on CEX.io — which is mainly a fiat-based exchange out of [2] London.

CRAZY CLOWN TIME

There’s no point in going any further; this memekkkoyne was literally “mailed-in” from an AI and whichever pirates and scalawags first got their hands on it, have been able to sell it to unsophisticated weirdos for millions of dollars. Let’s hope pippin isn’t a sign of our times, but it likely is. We’ve spent enough time on this, as the prediction is that it will sink into obscurity like most of the tens of millions of similar-effort cryptocurrencies out there, particularly on crooked Solana and “pump.fun” whom are getting sued quite voraciously for violating RICO laws .

This song and video by late great David Lynch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=caWXt9lCVr

are worth more than a thousand “pippin” cryptocurrencies in their entirety, probably orders of magnitude more. If all you got from this article was this, maybe it’s been a more worthwhile read than the references below?

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References:

[0] “Last Christmas” parody, courtesy of Wham: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIlheWVe3tg

[1] BitMart’s main investor,

of millions, was FenBushi Capital, which was founded by Vitalik “Bu” Buterin + Bo “-shi” Shen + Feng “Fen-” Xiao. Similar to btc and Jeffrey Epstein, BitMart collaborates with MIT. Launched March 2018, BitMart was infamously involved in an attack on Bitcoin (BSV) in the Summer of 2021, which notoriously saw the price of BSV drop from $492 to below $110 in just two months BEFORE the attack occured, making it look like a 9/11-style attack (short the airline stocks, then bomb the WTC with commercial jets) https://www.bitmart.com/en-US/support/articles/7922665245339/360000817854/360034112293 Q&A with BitMart founder August 22, 2018 (no license to operate in NY State at that time). That attack supposedly stole BSV from New York-based customers at BitMart, even tho there was obviously very little to zero KYC at the exchange in 2021. Just a month or two after BitMart was successfully hacked, they were out trying to raise $300mm investment round — which is terribly strange for an exchange who just fumbled the football on its KYC/AML. Then later that year, a more serious hack occured for hundreds of millions: https://www.siliconrepublic.com/enterprise/bitmart-hack-crypto-platform-ethereum-binance. Series B for BitMart was Nov 29, 2021, which again is SUPER odd considering they were just successfully taken inn a BSV hack.

[2] CEX.io Exchange

Top two trading pairs at CEX.io are eth/usd and USDC/EUR for $16mm/24hrs. Other notables include USDC/GBP for $1mm, Solana/USD for $0.3mm, SUI/USD $33k, FARTCOIN/USD $16k, LooksRare LOOKS/USDC $1k, and FLOW/USD $286. Founded in London in 2013, they have offices in the USA, Ukraine, Cyprus, Miami, and Gibraltar. CEX’s claim to fame was it was founded by Oleksandr Lutskevych who controlled > 50% of bitcoin hashpower in 2013–2014 era as GHash.io mining pool.

FINAL MESSAGE

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