Equanimity — the Piece of mind

It has been almost half a decade since I reported on crimes committed by humans. One day, I stepped away after realizing that I was suffering from a stress disorder caused by a decade-long exposure to the darkest traits of human nature. What some so-called “near ones” dismissed as drama, mental health experts identified as post-traumatic stress disorder. That led to further downturns in my life, worsening things and leaving me to fend for myself. To cut a long story short, I realized that I am now scared of being abandoned forever, which I will be, but after all the human mind always hopes for good (trust me the feeling of no one to hold your hand, feels like falling down a well)— this unlocked a new fear for me and oh yes, men too get scared and they too cry. I’ll write that story some another day.

What I have realized, though, is that human lives are always intertwined with—or directly proportional to—the amount of peace we can give to our central nervous system, or what higher beings call the “mind.”

It isn’t about brief respites from stress or fleeting moments of relaxation. A state of peace can be maintained through equanimity. Equanimity is a skill you can learn, one that helps you keep a calm and balanced state of mind regardless of the ups and downs life throws your way. You’re okay if things are okay, but you’re also okay if things aren’t. Some say mindfulness is the key. It isn’t something you wish for—it’s something you make, something you do, and something you are.

At times, I’ve realized that mindfulness can profoundly affect your mental state. It helps cultivate equanimity and a deeper sense of peace. A dear friend recently told me that physical activity is another path, and I’ve found that it stimulates the muscles and, in turn, helps the mind as well. In a sense, it is a type of meditation.

Staying alone for long periods, battling demons created by overthinking every little conversation, every small act, or minute changes in life, it dawned on me that the mind is a powerful thing. It can act as our greatest ally or our worst enemy—and most often, it takes the role of the enemy. It all depends on how we use it.

I started traveling as an escape, to keep my mind occupied (Ofcourse during this I realised that I love the sea more thanthe mountains, probably because of my moon sign — Cancer).

I realized that the world is full of its own problems, and no one really bothers whether I exist or not. So it’s better to love myself more. That’s not always an easy journey—we know that. But when it comes to peace, the challenge is to learn to appreciate who you are, cherish your strengths, and embrace your flaws.

That brings me to the question of flaws. I worry, I search for more flaws in myself, and eventually I end up trying harder to escape them. The same friend, gave me a simpler solution. She asked me to check whether I am at peace with whatever I am doing—in this case, my job. I thought about it and realized she was spot on. It all depends on that one thing: equanimity.