No One Teaches Us How to Be Parents

No one really teaches us how to be parents. Most of us step into this role without truly knowing what it means.

The only examples we have come from our childhood. We watched our parents, our grandparents, the parents of our friends — how they spoke to us, the choices they made, the way they raised their children. But those memories only show the surface. We rarely know what they were feeling inside.

I know so many tired mothers and fathers. Not because they are bad parents — but because life today demands so much from them.

People wake up early, rush to work, spend long hours under pressure. By the time they return home in the evening, they often have very little energy left.

Not because they don’t love their children. But because they are simply exhausted.

Sometimes the only energy left is enough to make dinner, tidy the house, and put the child to bed. And many parents carry quiet guilt, feeling like they should play more, talk more, and be more present.

Sometimes it simply feels easier to give a child a device so they can watch or play for a while — not because we don’t want to be there, but because we need a moment to breathe.

My husband and I once imagined a different reality. What if, when a couple has a child, they could spend the first few years simply raising that child — being there for the first steps, the first words, the discovery of the world?

Some people say, “Then just take unpaid leave.”

But for most families, that option simply doesn’t exist.

In Israel, maternity leave is only three months. Many women return to work as soon as it ends — even though their bodies and minds may still be recovering from childbirth.

But the system expects life to continue as usual.

Modern society values productivity above all else — work, efficiency, growth. Raising a child is slow, quiet work that is almost invisible to the economy.

And that creates a paradox: society depends on new generations, yet offers very little support to the people raising them.

That is why so many parents are exhausted. Not because they are failing — but because the system leaves very little space for them to simply be parents.

Read the full article on my website.