SELF

Living Consciously Means Paying Attention

Are We Living Unconsciously?

Image created by AI tool ChatGPT — the author has the provenance and copyright

For the past week, I’ve been upset because I found a charge on my Florida Power & Light bill that belonged to the apartment I moved out of.

When I called Florida Power & Light, they told me I never gave them a disconnect order for my June 10 move-out date. I distinctly remember the call where I arranged for my new electric service in Bradenton and told them the date I was leaving my previous apartment. They emailed me confirmation that my new service would begin. I had to provide that email to my new apartment before I could move in.

What I didn’t know — and how would I? (I’d never used Florida Power & Light before ) — is that if a disconnect order is placed, they also send a separate email confirming that cancellation.

No one told me that.

The supervisor explained that the only adjustment she could make was to credit me for four days. She suggested I call my former landlord because they owed me the rest.

So I called The Adley.

They told me Florida Power & Light never notified them, so it wasn’t their responsibility.

I reiterated that they had my keys the day before my move-out. The representative said, “We have a process, and if you had cancelled, it would have triggered our process.” She said I needed to go back to Florida Power and Light. I asked to speak with the manager, and the manager refused to speak with me.

So my interpretation is that their process was more important than doing the right thing.

Now I have choices.

I can request the recording of my original phone call to Florida Power and Light and find out exactly what happened. Did I forget to ask for the disconnect? I know that I did not forget. Were there reasons the man on the end of the phone couldn’t disconnect at that time? Did the representative forget to enter it? Was there a misunderstanding?

I can go up a level to the owners of The Adley and remind them that they had my keys on June 10. They knew I had moved out. If they took possession of the apartment, shouldn’t they also take responsibility for the electric bill?

Or I can look at the amount of money involved and ask myself an entirely different question:

Is this worth my time and energy?

That question led me somewhere I wasn’t expecting.

I realized this isn’t really about an electric bill. It certainly includes my sadness that people and companies do not operate with integrity.

But this is really about taking ownership — mine — and about living consciously.

Over the past five years, my life has become infinitely more complicated. Widowhood does that. Family dynamics does that. I now have businesses, multiple bank accounts, subscriptions, annual renewals, monthly expenses, insurance policies, software, websites, and contracts that all require attention.

When my husband Mike was alive, he loved spreadsheets. He tracked everything. He noticed details I never had to think about because we worked as a team.

Now that responsibility belongs only to me.

The truth is, I haven’t been as attentive as I need to be. I thought people would do the right thing. I am an eternal optimist that human beings have love and goodness in their heart. To think anything differently would send me into a maelstrom I might not return from. I give people the benefit of the doubt until I just can’t anymore.

I realize this season of widowhood has had me reacting instead of reviewing. Assuming people will do the right thing instead of verifying. Trusting that everything would simply work out instead of making sure it actually did.

That’s not anyone else’s fault. It’s mine.

As I thought about it, I realized I keep seeing the same lesson everywhere.

In conversations about food ingredients. Health. Politics. In discussions about subscriptions that quietly renew. Forcing us to opt in to text messaging and automatically putting us on email lists when we didn’t ask to be added. In contracts, we skim, knowing we have to sign them to get the service we want anyway. In headlines, we share without checking.

We buy products because someone promised they were the best. Great advertising tricks abound.

Whether it’s a utility bill, a food label, a service agreement, or a financial decision, every one of them asks the same question:

Are you paying attention?

Living consciously isn’t only about meditation. It isn’t only about gratitude. It isn’t only about being present. Sometimes living consciously means reading the contract. Reviewing the statement. Understanding what you agreed to. Keeping good records. Asking another question. Following up.

Taking responsibility for your own life instead of assuming someone else is looking out for it or has your best interest in mind. I guess it means to be skeptical in a healthy way.

Whatever happened to the customer is always right? I no longer believe most people wake up each morning trying to make our lives easier. Most people are simply doing their jobs, meeting deadlines, protecting their own interests, or trying to solve the problems in front of them.

That means I have to become the person who protects mine. Not from fear. Not from suspicion. But from awareness.

For years, I’ve loved the simple idea of Be. Do. Have.

Be present instead of living in yesterday’s regrets or tomorrow’s worries.

Do the next right thing that’s in front of you, even if it’s as ordinary as reading the fine print or making one more phone call.

Have gratitude for what you’ve built because you’ve chosen to live awake instead of on autopilot.

Maybe that’s what living consciously really means.

Not becoming more suspicious. Not becoming more cynical. Becoming more awake.

Awake to where we’ve slowly handed away pieces of our own authority. Awake to the habits we’ve allowed to drift. Awake to the areas of our lives that deserve our attention.

Every bill we review. Every contract we understand. Every question we ask. Every responsibility we willingly accept.

Those small moments aren’t just about protecting our finances. They’re about reclaiming our power.

And perhaps that’s one of the most conscious ways we can choose to live.

You know what a side effect might be? We are so busy taking care of ourselves that we have less and less time to judge others and point the finger.

I’d love to hear your success story when you put these thoughts into action in your own lives. Did you save money? Time? Something else?