Painful Lessons From Holy Week and My Hiatus

Originally published 20 April 2025

These past few months have been so rough for me and so I decided to do a social media hiatus. What I planned to be a one-week break extended to the Holy Week. Over the course of those two weeks, I realized hard-hitting truths about life, and I thought it would be best to view them from the perspective of Holy Week.

Please bear with me.

1. People can change their minds about you in an instant.

I remember reading a reflection about the Stations of the Cross of how the same people who cheered and celebrated Jesus’ entry to Jerusalem were also the people who jeered at Him, threw insults, and demanded that He be crucified. That is the reality for most of us. I experienced bumping into someone who looked at me as if she was judging me and may have said hurtful things about me under her breath. She used to greet me with a smile, but now, it was as if she saw a monster — all because she decided to change her view about me; all because she decided that she knew me better than I knew myself. It’s painful to be alienated, excluded, treated like garbage. It’s even more painful to be treated as such by the people who you once saw as friends, family.

While Jesus was carrying the cross, He could see the faces of those who were mocking Him and shouting at Him. These were the same people He fed when He multiplied the bread and fish. These were the same people who asked for healing, for miracles. These were the people who came to Him because they needed something. But now, they treat Him like a criminal, as if they didn’t follow Him, as if they never dreamed of seeing Him and talking to Him.

People will change their minds about you, especially when it fits a narrative that’s convenient for them, especially when it makes them feel better about themselves, even though they know that their assumptions are baseless and unfair. They will make conclusions about you without even taking your side into account.

There is a final part to that story though. After Jesus breathed His last, they saw everything that happened, and people started to realize that this was, in fact, the Son of God and they went home, beating their breasts. They allowed lies and deception to blind their eyes from seeing who Jesus really is, and it took seeing an innocent man crucified for them to finally realize that they were mistaken.

2. Not everyone has pure intentions. Some people harbor ulterior motives.

At the beginning of Jesus’ ministry, He called twelve men to follow Him and be His Apostles. In the Biblical accounts, we see the names of these twelve men and among them is Judas Iscariot “who betrayed him.” Judas was the last to be mentioned and we are even given a preview — a spoiler if you will — of what would happen: Judas would betray Jesus.

Jesus must have known about this, but he still called Judas to follow Him. There are no official accounts of how exactly Judas was called, but in the latter part of the Gospels, we learn that Judas was the treasurer of the group, and he was known to steal from that money. So why exactly did Judas follow Jesus? Judas even went as far as rebuking Mary Magdalene for anointing Jesus’ feet with an expensive bottle of perfume, saying that the money spent there should’ve been given to the poor instead. Of course, Judas didn’t care about the poor.

Here, we see the harsh reality that people come into our lives for so many different reasons. Some come into our lives with pure intentions, but others have ulterior motives. Some may befriend us because they know that they can get something from us. Some may approach us to advance some hidden agenda. There are also some who insert themselves into our lives in order to find something they could use to destroy us. It hurts to understand that we will never truly know what a person’s true intentions for us is until it’s too late. Which brings us to our next harsh reality…

3. Not everyone can be trusted.

Imagine how painful it is to spend three years with the same people, eating, walking around, and preaching in the presence of the same group of people, only to have one of them sell you out for thirty pieces of silver — the price of a slave. Jesus called the twelve apostles and spent three years of His earthly life with them. These apostles saw Jesus perform miracles, speak in front of multitudes, drive demons away. They were with Him almost daily. They saw Jesus cry when He learned about the death of Lazarus. Most importantly, they broke bread with Jesus.

During my college years, while studying Philosophy, we learned that breaking bread (that is, eating together) leads people to a deeper understanding of each other. That meal they share transcends the mere appearance of sharing a meal: it becomes a celebration of life. That is how important breaking bread is. Now let us put ourselves in Jesus’ shoes, unworthy though we are. It must have been so painful to have someone break bread with you only to discover that they had already sold you out. It must have been so painful to have one of your close friends betray you with a kiss. Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?

I was raised with the belief that there is always good in every person. But during the most difficult moments of our lives, we will see the people we trusted the most, the people we shared our lives with, the people we broke bread with might also be the ones who would betray us with a kiss, an embrace, or even just a condemning look. Be careful with who you trust.

4. In your agony, not even your closest friends would be there.

After the Last Supper, the apostles (except Judas) and Jesus sang hymns and then went to the Garden of Gethsemane. Here, Jesus asked his apostles to sit while he prayed. He asked Peter, James, and John to accompany Him a bit further. Then Jesus advanced a little and fell prostrate in prayer. Jesus was in such an agony that His sweat became like blood. Yet when he stood up and went back to the three apostles, He saw that they were asleep. They couldn’t even stay awake to accompany Him. He did this three times. Imagine: He asked Peter, James, and John to stay up and accompany Him for just an hour, and yet everytime He went back to check on them, they were asleep.

This is a reality that was made clear to me a few years ago: that you would know who your true friends are when you’re faced with a very difficult situation. But what happens when no one stays? What if no one accompanies you? Worse, what if one of the people you trusted the most denies even knowing you?

Peter is considered to be the Prince of the Apostles, the rock on which the Church is built. But when Peter saw Jesus being taken away to be scourged (just a few hours after declaring to Jesus, “Lord, I am prepared to go to prison and to die with you.”), he denied knowing Him not once, but three times.

We all suffer. We suffer from the challenges life presents us with. Sometimes, we are able to overcome these challenges alone, but there are times when we know that this battle is beyond our strength, and we look around for someone who could help us fight. Sometimes, we don’t even need someone who would fight for us, we just need someone who believes in us, someone who, like Simon of Cyrene, would carry the cross behind us.

But, as a well-known novel says, the world is not a wish-granting factory. We won’t always have that someone. No matter how much time and effort we invest in a friendship, that will never give us any assurance that they will stand by our side when we most need them to.

5. Not everyone will defend you even if you deserve to be defended.

Pontius Pilate’s wife approached him and warned him not to meddle with Jesus’ case. Pilate examined Jesus both in front of the Jews and in private. Pilate knew that the accusations against Jesus were made up and that this was instigated by those who hated Jesus. As the Roman Procurator, Pilate could have spared Jesus’ life. He even thought that having Jesus scourged would somehow placate the anger of the chief priests, but he was wrong. Seeing Jesus covered in His own blood, wearing a crown of thorns, and clothed in a purple robe, Pilate exclaimed, “Look, I am bringing him out to you, so that you may know that I find no guilt in him.” And when the people demanded that Jesus be crucified, Pilate had a servant present him with water and washed his hands in front of the people and said, “I am innocent of this man’s blood. Look to it yourselves.” And the whole people said in reply, “His blood be upon us and upon our children.”

Pilate had the power to free Jesus. He had already been warned by his wife, and he knew that freeing Jesus was the right thing to do. But he succumbed to the pressure of the chief priests. He disregarded the truth and allowed an innocent man to die in the most humiliating way possible: crucifixion.

In our lives, we will experience this. There would come a time when we would be faced with difficulties and no one would come to our aid. No one would stick their neck out for us. They say that for evil men to succeed, good men only need to do nothing. No matter how well-intentioned we are, there would be people who would do everything to bring us down, and sadder still, there are people who would watch in silence, never uttering a word of defense for us, all because they want to save themselves — truth be damned. In the face of evil and injustice, they turn a blind eye and wash their hands. It is a harsh reality, but something that most of us will encounter. Quid est veritas?

6. Loyalty is very rare.

Here, we come to the foot of the cross. There, crucified, is Jesus, still being taunted by the Roman soldiers, the chief priests, and the people who had gathered to watch this gruesome scene. At the foot of the cross, we see His mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, Mary Magdalene, and John the Apostle. Out of the eleven, only one apostle remained with Jesus until the end.

The rest of the apostles scrambled in fear. They hid themselves, they ran. They deserted Jesus. But John remained. These were the same apostles who told Jesus, “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” These were the same apostles who, just hours before, had their feet washed by Jesus. They broke the bread with Him.

I learned the hard way that genuine friendships come rarely. As we said earlier, people have different reasons for coming into our lives. When we are faced with trials, who remains? I have seen so many broken friendships over the years, and I learned to reflect on whether a person is genuine or not. I learned the hard way that not everyone is your friend. Someone once said that we misuse the term friend because not everyone is our friend; most of them are mere acquaintances. When I heard this, it felt like a wake up call and it made me re-evaluate my “friendships.”

When I was overlooked, did they say something? When everyone was walking ahead of me, leaving me desperately trying to join them, who stayed behind to make me feel that I belonged? When I was missing, who felt my absence? Who went out looking for me? When I fell silent, who heard my silence? When I was hurting, who reached out, made time? When I felt like the whole world was against me, who was there beside me? I learned that for the sake of my own sanity, I should let go of people who determine my value depending on how useful I am. I learned to remain absent for those who never appreciated my presence. I learned to leave when I know I am no longer welcome, when I am no longer wanted, when I am no longer valued.

I cannot help but recall this story I read when I was a kid. It was about a little red hen who asked for help from her friends to plant the wheat, tend to the wheat and harvest it, bring it to the mill, and bake the bread. No one was willing to help. No one. But when the little red hen asked them who wanted to help eat the bread, everyone was suddenly very eager. But this time, the little red hen was the one who drew the line: no one helped me in my struggles, so they do not deserve to partake in my victory. Loyalty is very rare. Be careful. Are they there only when it’s convenient for them?

7. Life has a way of kicking you while you’re down.

It was nearing the Sabbath and the Jews asked Pilate to have the legs of the three crucified men to be broken. This was to ensure that they were already dead. They didn’t want to leave them there during the Sabbath. The Roman soldiers broke the legs of the two thieves who were crucified with Jesus but when they saw that Jesus was already dead, they decided to just thrust a lance into His side from which blood and water flowed out.

Imagine that. After being scourged, made to carry the heavy cross, and crucified, they had to have their legs broken. This is how life seems to be sometimes. We have been knocked down by so many problems and challenges, and yet life just keeps coming up with more. Life can seem so unfair. Problems can pile on just like in the life of Job: he lost his properties, he lost his ten children on the same day, he was struck with boils on his skin, he was isolated by his wife and friends. Life really has a way of kicking us while we’re down.

It is exhausting. Imagine just barely surviving a very difficult situation and all of a sudden, we see ourselves in an even worse situation. It is mentally, physically, and spiritually draining. We even ask God why He allows these things to happen. We try our best to become good people: we serve God, we devote our life to service, we never forget to pray and worship Him. Why us? We become so engulfed by grief that we utter the same words as Jesus: my God, my God, why have you forsaken me? In the midst of our sufferings, despite our desperate cries, we hear nothing.

Conclusion

Admittedly, these realizations might be depressing and borderline nihilistic. These realizations are my own. After a very difficult past few months (years, even), I cannot help but express my thoughts after battling my demons on a daily basis and being enveloped by darkness for so long. These realizations are a product of reminiscing and re-evaluation. It is my way, I guess, of acknowledging everything and allowing the past to be over so as to give space for the future. After all, it was Soren Kierkegaard who said, life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

Also, allow me to make it up through my Easter reflection.