The Second Time is the Charm

Our Family Friend, Who Took a Naked Poo In My Guest Bathroom, Is Coming Back

There is “No Fear” as the legendary bathroom wrecker returns

Image source: adobestock.com / Author’s subscription

Two years ago, a visiting, older friend of the family took a naked poo in my guest bathroom during one of my gatherings and overflowed the toilet. This same man is returning to visit again. And he is two years older.

I am checking my house over and updating precautions as needed. All 2024 excerpts are from my original Medium post: He Was Buck Naked in My Bathroom, Taking a Poo.

Down for Whatever Happens This Time

2024

“My nephew came running up to me. Water was flowing from under the door of the guest bathroom. Something in the bathroom was overflowing. Based on the appearance of the water, it was the toilet. As we knocked on the door, I wondered which of the children was playing in the bathroom, causing such a mess.

I am lucky. I made a house perfect for children and pets by ripping up the carpet in every room and replacing it with either hardwood or laminate — hardwood in the rooms for adults and wood laminate in the rooms for children. The bathrooms have beautiful, but easily cleaned, large Italian tiles.

The only rugs on the floors are area rugs; the only expensive rugs are in the primary bedroom, front, and living rooms. All the other rugs are attractive but washable ruggables. That way, when pets and children dropped their inevitable body liquids and random other things, we just mopped them up. No harm, no foul.”

2026

The only difference in the guest bathroom is that we have updated the accent color to dark blue from rose pink. There are dark blue washable rugs on the floor. I have also started putting those huge Dude Wipes wet wipes in every bathroom. I love those things; they get the job done.

Bathroom Prepared for Reunion Tour

2024

“The older adult in the bathroom was an 85-year-old man who was a guest. I will call him Finn, although that is not his name. I asked him to open the door. He refused. After getting the tool that unlocks the bathroom door, I called his relatives to ask him to open the door, but he would not. They warned him that we were unlocking the door and coming in. Using the tool to open the door, I peeked into the room.”

2026

We have not changed the bathroom locks. I will wear clothing with pockets and put that unlock key in my pocket. I expect I will not be the only person watching him. According to his daughter, he still goes to the bathroom with no help, which, by the way, is good.

What’s a Little Chaos Between Friends

2024

“The older man was buck-naked, standing in my shower. Once I saw that, I could not unsee it. Chunks of poo were bobbing up and down at the rim of the toilet. The poo was not escaping the toilet bowl because it was soft, sticky poo. The pieces not bobbing were stuck on the rim of the toilet. On the floor was the man’s toilet water-soaked clothing. The room smelled like a 1980s outdoor concert porta-potty.

After waving at him, I closed the door. I asked my niece to go and fetch my spouse. I told my honey to give him one of his robes and take the man into the guest bedroom. He did. I then got one of Finn’s relatives to go into the bathroom and plunge the toilet. No one resisted that idea when I suggested it.

That same relative picked up his clothing and put it into a big plastic bag. I did my hostess duty with the “Move along, nothing to see here” activity.”

2026

I will not be the one to go into the bathroom if needed; I will send my husband and the man’s relative into the bathroom. A robe, clean towels, and a big plastic bag on the back of the door, just in case.

I have also acquired that new TikTok toilet plunger, which works really well. I removed the plunger from my master bath and moved it to the guest bath.

All I Want Is Kindness Repaid

2024

“The next day, when the plumber came, he said that there was a significant wad of toilet paper in the toilet. That wad was the cause of the flowing toilet water fountain. Of course, it was. What I still did not understand was why the man was naked. I did some research, and it turns out there is a small portion of adults who take off their clothing to go number two. Although why you would do that at someone else’s home, I do not know.”

2026

This time, I am ready. I got that modern-age plunger. There is nothing else I can do if he goes into the bathroom, takes off all his clothing, fills the toilet, and uses a stack of toilet paper again. I spoke to his daughter, who is bringing him, about my plan for them because, just like last time, he lives with her.

I am going to gently suggest that if he goes to the bathroom, she should monitor him. I told her about the robe, towels, and bag hanging on the back of the bathroom door. I hope that she will not need them, but if she does, it will be no big deal.

One day, I will be 87. I truly believe karma comes back to you — good and bad. I am already a stubborn old woman, who I am sure will require much kindness once I make it to 87, which is a great age to be.

I’m looking forward to their visit. We will eat, drink, play games, and have big fun without worrying about the bathroom antics.

[embed]Toni Crowe — Medium Read writing from Toni Crowe on Medium. Sharing the hard lessons I’ve learned in life. Adding truth in a time of lies…tonicrowewriter.medium.com

Click the image below to buy Toni’s books.

Image by Toni Crowe ©All Rights Reserved

Image by Toni Crowe ©All Rights Reserved