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Unwellness Report | Sleepmaxxing Hostages & Moody Psychobiotics

Maximizing sleep, food texture, and microbiomes

Dan Hass in SOS: Satire or Something · 2025-12-16 21:20 · 130 claps · 0.7 min read paywalled
#sleepmaxxing #humor #wellness #satire #food-humor
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Unwellness Report | Sleepmaxxing Hostages & Moody Psychobiotics

Maximizing sleep, food texture, and microbiomes

TREND: America’s Obsession with Sleepmaxxing

Influencers are pushing pricey mouth tape, chin straps, and nasal dilators. It’s part of a holistic nighttime routine that tries to recreate the experience of being tucked into bed by a serial killer.

TREND: 2026 Will Be the Year of Textural Maximalism

A food industry report predicts that next year, chefs will prioritize “sensory drama” on every plate. Always good when your risotto is described using the same language as a 4DX cinema.

NEWS: Mood-Boosting Microbiomes

PureWell Sciences just launched “psychobiotics,” a supplement that targets the gut-brain axis and uses microbiomes to fix your mood. Finally, a pill that lets you blame Sunday Scaries on a lack of fermented Lactobacillus.

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