What Can I Use as a Dildo? 20 Household Options

There are certain questions people search with one eye closed.

Credit: Sexplorx.com

“What can I use as a dildo?” is definitely one of them.

It sounds like a private thought that escaped into Google. Maybe you’re curious. Maybe you don’t own a toy yet. Maybe you’re waiting for one to arrive. Maybe you’re just looking around your room thinking, “Technically…?”

And yes, people do use household objects as makeshift dildos. Fruits, vegetables, handles, brushes, bottles, all the usual suspects. Humans see a shape and immediately try to give it a second job. Nature weeps, probably.

But here’s the useful answer: some options are less risky than others, and some are absolutely not worth it.

The safest choice is still a real body-safe dildo. But if you’re asking for actual options, here’s the honest list.

One rule before the list:

anything that is not a proper sex toy should be smooth, clean, firm, condom-covered, used with lube, easy to hold, and easy to remove. Vaginal use only. For anal play, use a real anal toy with a flared base. No household experiments there.

1. Clean Fingers

This is the safest and most practical place to start.

Fingers are warm, flexible, easy to control, and attached to your brain, which is apparently a luxury feature. Wash your hands, trim your nails, use lube, and go slowly.

If you’re new to penetration, fingers are better than jumping straight to a random object because you can feel pressure and angle immediately.

Risk level: Lower risk

2. Smooth Toothbrush Handle

A toothbrush handle is one of the more common household alternatives because it is small, easy to grip, and usually narrow.

But “usually” is doing a lot of work here. Some toothbrushes have rubber grips, ridges, seams, logos, or textured parts that can irritate you. Only consider a smooth, solid handle. Cover it with a condom and use lube.

Do not insert the brush end. Humanity has suffered enough.

Risk level: Moderate risk

3. Makeup Brush Handle

A makeup brush handle can be slim and smooth, which is why people think of it.

The issue is paint, coating, cracks, glue, and tiny seams near the metal part. If the handle is flaking, old, rough, or has a detachable end, skip it. If it is smooth and solid, cover it with a condom.

Also, clean it properly. Makeup residue does not need a side quest inside your body.

Risk level: Moderate risk

4. Hairbrush Handle

A hairbrush handle can work in theory because it gives you something to hold.

But many hairbrush handles have textured grips, seams, plastic ridges, or tiny cracks. Those details matter. If it is not completely smooth, do not use it internally.

If it passes the smooth test, still use a condom and lube.

Risk level: Moderate risk

5. Spoon Handle

A spoon handle might sound random, but some are smooth, rounded, and easy to clean.

The problem is shape. Decorative spoon handles can have hard edges, thin tips, or raised patterns. Only a smooth, rounded handle makes sense. And even then, use it gently.

This is not the time for enthusiasm. It is a spoon, not destiny.

Risk level: Moderate risk

6. Smooth Marker Body

A smooth marker body is sometimes mentioned because it has a simple shape.

But caps can come off. Ink can leak. Plastic can crack. So this one only makes sense if the marker is sealed, smooth, firm, and condom-covered. If there is any loose cap or leak risk, avoid it.

Honestly, stationery should probably stay on the desk, where it can disappoint students instead.

Risk level: Moderate to high risk

7. Smooth Silicone Kitchen Handle

Some kitchen tools have silicone handles that are smooth and soft-ish.

This can seem safer than hard plastic, but it depends on the object. If it has grooves, seams, metal ends, or a detachable part, no. If it is completely smooth, solid, clean, and easy to hold, it is one of the less chaotic options.

Still condom-covered. Still lube. Still careful.

Risk level: Moderate risk

8. Small Smooth Plastic Bottle

People often think of small bottles because they are firm and easy to hold.

I’m cautious here. Bottle caps, hard rims, labels, seams, and suction can all be problems. Used drink bottles can also collect bacteria around the mouthpiece.

If you use a bottle at all, it should be small, smooth, clean, closed tightly, condom-covered, and easy to grip. Avoid glass bottles completely.

Risk level: High risk

9. Cucumber

Here we go. The classic.

A cucumber is probably the most famous makeshift dildo because it is firm, long, and usually easy to find. But food is not body-safe just because it is conveniently shaped.

If someone uses a cucumber, it should be firm, smooth, washed, uncut, unpeeled, condom-covered, and not too large. Avoid bumpy cucumbers, soft spots, or anything that feels rough.

Risk level: Risky but common

10. Zucchini

A zucchini is similar to a cucumber but can be smoother depending on the type.

Still, it is food. It can have residue, texture, and bacteria. It can also be too thick or uneven. Use only a fresh, firm, smooth zucchini with a condom over it.

If it is bumpy, soft, curved awkwardly, or damaged, let it remain dinner.

Risk level: Risky

11. Carrot

A carrot might seem practical because it is firm and narrow.

But it can be too hard, too pointed, or uneven. The tip especially can be sharp enough to feel uncomfortable. If someone uses a carrot, it should be large enough to hold securely, smooth, washed, condom-covered, and not pointy.

Personally, I’d rank it below cucumber or zucchini because hard and tapered is not always friendly.

Risk level: Risky

12. Banana

A banana is where I start making a face.

Unpeeled bananas are sometimes mentioned, but they can soften, bruise, split, or break. Peeled bananas are much worse because they are slippery and fragile.

Never use a peeled banana internally. That sentence should not need to exist, but here we are, civilization dragging itself forward.

Risk level: High risk

13. Small Eggplant

A small eggplant can look like an obvious option because of the shape.

But the size, curve, texture, and firmness can be awkward. Some are too thick. Some have uneven skin. The stem area is a definite no. If someone uses one, it would need to be small, smooth, firm, washed, condom-covered, and used gently.

Still not my first choice.

Risk level: Risky

14. Ice

Ice is more of a sensation-play idea than a dildo alternative.

Internally, I would be careful. Ice can be too cold, slippery, uncomfortable, and hard to control. It also melts, which sounds romantic only if you ignore basic logistics.

If you use ice, I’d keep it external or wrapped, not inserted deeply. Cold play can be fun, but frostbite vibes are not the goal.

Risk level: Risky

15. Popsicle

A popsicle looks like ice with a handle, which is exactly why people think of it.

But it melts, it contains sugar, it can get sticky, and the wooden stick can be rough or uncomfortable. Sugar around the vagina is not a great idea because it can increase irritation risk.

I’d keep popsicles for your mouth. Revolutionary, I know.

Risk level: Avoid

16. Bell Pepper

A pepper is not a good option.

The shape is awkward, the surface can be uneven, and it can leave residue. Some peppers may irritate sensitive skin. Even non-spicy peppers are not worth the trouble.

This is not sensual. This is salad confusion.

Risk level: Avoid

17. Corn Cob

No.

Corn is textured, rough, uneven, and not made for smooth insertion. The kernels create friction and irritation risk. It is also not easy to cover cleanly or use comfortably.

Corn belongs at a barbecue, not in a “how did this happen?” story.

Risk level: Avoid

18. Leek

A leek is too layered, fragile, and awkward.

It can split, bend, shed layers, or hold dirt between its leaves. Even if it looks smooth on the outside, the structure is not stable enough.

Hard pass.

Risk level: Avoid

19. Asparagus

Asparagus is too thin, fragile, and breakable.

There is no good reason to use it as a dildo alternative. It can snap. It can be sharp at the ends. It is also too small to be safely controlled in the way you’d need.

Let asparagus remain the side dish nobody asked for.

Risk level: Avoid

20. Showerhead, External Only

A showerhead is not a dildo, but it is worth mentioning because many people explore with water pressure.

Use it externally only. Do not insert a showerhead, hose, nozzle, or anything attached to plumbing. External water pressure can feel good for some people, but internal use can be unsafe.

The shower is already doing enough. Do not assign it extra responsibilities.

Risk level: Lower risk if external only

Quick Safety Ranking

Here’s the cleaner version if you want the fast answer:

What I’d Personally Choose

If I had to choose from household options, I’d go in this order:

Clean fingers first.

Then maybe a smooth toothbrush handle, makeup brush handle, or spoon handle if it is completely smooth, condom-covered, and used gently.

For food, a firm smooth cucumber or zucchini is probably the least chaotic option, but still not ideal.

I would not choose banana, popsicle, pepper, corn cob, leek, asparagus, glass bottles, candles, remotes, pens, razors, perfume bottles, shampoo bottles, or anything with batteries.

The real upgrade is a simple body-safe dildo. It does not have to be expensive. A slim silicone dildo is enough. It is smoother, cleaner, easier to wash, and actually made for this purpose, which is shockingly useful in a world where people keep trying to promote vegetables into sex toys.

So, what can you use as a dildo?

The safest answer is fingers or a real body-safe dildo. If you are improvising, the most realistic household options are smooth handles, like a toothbrush handle, makeup brush handle, hairbrush handle, spoon handle, or possibly a firm cucumber or zucchini.

But every makeshift option should be treated carefully: condom, lube, smooth surface, easy grip, no sharp edges, no loose parts, no glass, no batteries, no scented products, and no anal use unless it is a real flared-base toy.

Curiosity is fine. Experimenting is normal. But your body deserves better than a random object being chosen because it happened to be nearby and vaguely ambitious.

For the full practical guide, I wrote a deeper version here: What Can I Use as a Dildo? Safer Household Options