“I am just as My slave thinks I am”

Allah is greater than your thoughts

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As I am writing this, I can see the beaming moon through the window close to my bedside. A thought crossed my mind. Scratch that. Thoughts crossed my mind. The moon — she reminded me of my beloved ﷺ, whose face shone brighter than hers. The midnight queen peaking through the curtains radiates hope. She gives clarity to the confused. Calmness to the disturbed soul. Which reminded me of the Uber driver who dropped us home. His smile showered warmness. His words were a sign of humanity that is rarely found nowadays. You may wonder why I felt such. Let me tell you.

When my sibling, her kids and I got into his auto rickshaw, music was running in the background. With calculated breath, he asked us whether we enjoyed music. In a world that barely notices the essentials, he even took note of the subtle differences. My sister smiled and let him know that we don’t mind it much. Even after we confirmed, moments later, he took it upon himself to reduce the volume of the song. That was a grand gesture. A commendable behaviour. Thinking about this moment, which obviously had a huge impact on me yet was little to the eye, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking. Even with atrocious acts happening in the world, people like him exist. A glimpse of the illuminating mercy that remains on the earth.

Then, think of your lord, who is the most subtle and the most merciful

I am certain of Allah’s grandness to the point that at times I get lost in it. But lately, I am noticing a change in me. I am stuck in the uncertainties of life. I am unable to process situations. I am finding it challenging to hold onto the rope that extends from the skies. I question the basics. I doubt the normal. I can feel the breath of the cursed closer to me than ever before. Only because I have allowed it to influence me. Regardless, I feel a pull from the opposite far end. I feel the presence of the divine reminding me of my shortcomings alongside His mercy and forgiveness. My conscience is not letting me sink deeper. Amidst my flowing state, I push myself harder to stay ashore. The whisperings of the ocean’s beings have settled a home in my head. But I make sure I don’t make them feel at peace. At home. The flesh of my inner chamber reminds me that hopelessness is forbidden for believers. It recalls the blessings of life that I take for granted. It has hardly forgotten the miracles of life. It is a witness to the turning points of the supposed impossibilities. How God has always been good. How He has never abandoned His slaves. How He elevates those who remain content. How He paves the way for those who trust in him. How He guides whoever he wills. How could they believe that their whisperings have the capability to change the heart of the one whose heart has been alive with iman for ages? Husnu Dhann has overshadowed the overthinking. As the believers know, Allah is greater than the thoughts that seem to never disappear. The non-existence of Allah’s origin is proof of the eventual disappearance of the thoughts you’ve come to believe in. Believe in the eternal being. Then, nothing can shake your soul or your being. Think good of Him, and then the reality becomes and feels good without you realising it.

As Allah has said,

I am just as My slave thinks I am, (i.e. I am able to do for him what he thinks I can do for him) and I am with him if He remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than they; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer to Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.

~Sahih Al-Bukhari

May Allah bless you for taking your time to read this. I highly appreciate it ♡

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With peace,

Faheema