Mama’s Eulogy

Nancy McElhattan Barnes

March 19, 2016

Mama

Nancy Marie McElhattan Barnes was such a phenomenal person that I know this eulogy will not do her justice, but I tried my best. She was a person who touched each person she met, including each and every one of us sitting here today. We all would not be the persons we are today if it had not been for the example she set for us and the relationships we had with her.

Mama’s first passion was music. We were blessed that she shared her passion for music with us. Some of her favorite songs were “All I ask of You,” “Clare de Lune,” “I Have Loved You,” “This Nearly Was Mine,” and “An Affair to Remember.” Mama used her God-given talent to play beautiful music on the organ and sing at mass. She shared this passion with others by not only giving her own free time to inspire and work with other organists and cantors but to get to know them personally. An organist she used to work with said to me yesterday that she is just glad that she knew her. I know that is how we all feel.

By her example, she modeled for all of us to do your very best in every role for which we are responsible. She was an organist, wife, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, great grandmother, sister, sister-in-law, aunt, great aunt, and friend. We all had these different relationships with her and knew her in different capacities but she did the same for all of us — she loved us all and made us feel loved. And she did this with her whole being. To me, she was my dear Mama. From the time I was young, Mama showed her love for each of us in many ways. She gave us her full attention and listened to us when conversing with her. She truly listened, which feels like a rarity in this modern, fast-paced world. She was there for us whenever we needed her without any question. In fact, she did everything she could for us until the very end, including praying unceasingly for all of us even in the middle of the night when she could not sleep.

Mama loved and cherished her family. She shared many stories and details about her childhood, her home, and her family with us, including her times playing the trombone in local parades, her mom’s abundant and elaborate meals, her mom’s garden, her dad’s filling station, walking home from school to have lunch at home, her piano lessons, and her dogs Chloe and Jiggs. I feel very blessed to have had a grandmother who shared so much about herself with us and shared so much of her time with us. For years, she looked forward to meeting her siblings monthly at the “Mac” luncheons. On weekends, she would frequently call us and ask us if we wanted to go shopping. After we would shop and get back into the car to go home, we knew what she was going to say: “Do you want to get a bite to eat”? She met her nephew, Andrew, and brother-in-law, Bob, every week for lunch and every week without fail had five dollars for Andrew. She loved spending time with us and we loved spending time with her.

Mama also was a model for us by keeping the Lord Jesus Christ at the center of her life through her actions and her words. I remember her telling us that when she was a child she and Sprink would walk up to the Catholic Church in St. Petersburg, open the door slightly, and peer inside. Mama said that she thought the inside of the Catholic Church looked scary, but she must have been somewhat in awe and curious about the Catholic faith to want to peer into the Church. Her awe and curiosity for the Catholic faith only grew, leading her on the path to become an extraordinarily devout Catholic — with this faith becoming the core of her life. When she was dying, she told us several times that she missed Mass. On the last night she received the Eucharist at home, I watched her as the priest recited the readings. She listened intently, hanging on to every word that was said. When she received the Eucharist, even though it was very difficult for her to swallow, I saw her shut her eyes and I know she was savoring the Eucharist and that moment — the last time she would be nourished by the body of Christ. When dying she wanted a picture of the Blessed Mother on her dresser and asked for holy water from Lourdes, France to be put on her side where the cancer was located. She also told us that she had always loved St. Joseph. It is very fitting that her funeral mass is on the feast of St. Joseph. We can hope that St. Joseph, the patron saint of the dying, interceded for her at the end of her life so that Jesus and Mary would be at her side as she left this world.

We can learn a lot from my Mama. She was selfless, compassionate, recognized the good in everyone and knew how to draw out the best in us. She gave us all her attention and love. Mama was the perfect example of someone who recognized Jesus Christ in everyone. Mama, I will miss you everyday, but we will not forget all that you did for us. I hope that you are playing your heart out on the piano, enjoying a root beer milkshake, and scootin’ around in your Mercedes again in heaven. I can just hear you saying “Isn’t this wonderful”! when you were reunited with your family. Thank you for everything! You are a part of us, Mama, and we will love you everyday until we see you gain.