since it’s may, may everything work out for us

a letter for the days that felt like nothing was working

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May arrived like a gentle change in the air, something you don’t immediately notice until you realize you’re breathing a little easier. The days feel slightly warmer, the light lingers longer, and there’s a kind of hope tucked into ordinary moments. It doesn’t come in loudly, but it stays. It slips into your thoughts when you’re not paying attention. There’s something about this month that feels like a beginning, even if nothing visibly changes. Like life is gently whispering that things might finally start moving in your favor.

Dear you, Since it’s May, may everything work out for us. I’ve been holding onto that sentence like a small prayer, repeating it in between thoughts, letting it sit inside my chest. There’s something comforting about believing that things can align, even if we don’t fully understand how. I want to trust that the timing will make sense someday. I want to believe that what’s meant for us is already finding its way. Even if it takes longer than we expected.

I need to tell you something. I just received good news today, and it still feels a little unreal when I say it out loud. I finally got a full-time job after what felt like an endless stretch of waiting. There were so many days where I doubted if it would ever happen. Days where everything felt stuck, like I was running in place without getting anywhere. And now suddenly, something changed. It feels like a door opened when I wasn’t even sure I was standing in front of one.

What makes it even stranger is the timing. It has been almost two months since my last screening test, and I had already started to convince myself that maybe it wasn’t meant for me. I told myself to move on, to stop expecting anything from it. I tried to make peace with the silence. But somehow, life decided to circle back. It came back in a way I didn’t predict, and now I’m standing here, still trying to process it.

It feels like a dream I’m slightly afraid to wake up from. The kind where everything seems too aligned, too gentle, too kind. I keep replaying the moment I received the news, just to make sure it really happened. There’s a part of me that’s still catching up, still trying to believe that this is real. After all the waiting, after all the uncertainty, something finally said yes. And I didn’t realize how much I needed that.

I can’t help but think about the end of April. About the night I wrote a birthday letter for my mom, pouring things onto the page that I don’t always say out loud. There was a part of that letter that stayed with me, something honest and a little heavy. I didn’t know then that things were already moving in the background. I didn’t know that May would arrive carrying an answer I had been hoping for.

“I know I haven’t made you proud in the ways I wish I could. There are still so many things I haven’t achieved, so many dreams I’m still chasing without certainty. Sometimes that thought weighs heavily on me. Sometimes I wonder if I have disappointed you without realizing it. But please know that I’m trying, even on the days when it doesn’t look like much. I’m trying to become someone who can stand beside you with confidence. I’m trying to grow into someone you can look at with pride. And I will keep trying, no matter how long it takes.”

Reading those words again now feels different. It feels like they were written by a version of me who was still standing in the middle of doubt, still searching for something to hold onto. And maybe I still am, in some ways. Getting this job doesn’t erase all the uncertainty, it doesn’t solve everything overnight. But it feels like proof that trying matters. That even when nothing seems to move, something is still unfolding behind the scenes.

There’s a kind of relief that comes with this, but also a fear. A fear of not being enough, of not doing well, of messing up something I’ve waited so long for. I think that’s part of growing, learning how to hold both gratitude and anxiety at the same time. Learning how to move forward even when your hands are slightly shaking. Learning how to trust yourself in spaces you once felt unready for.

But more than anything, this moment feels like a reminder. A reminder that delays don’t always mean endings. That silence doesn’t always mean rejection. Sometimes things are just taking their time, coming together in ways we can’t see yet. And when they arrive, they don’t always make a loud entrance. Sometimes they just… happen.

So since it’s May, I’m holding onto hope a little tighter. I’m letting myself believe that more things can work out, not just for me, but for you too. For all the things you’ve been waiting on, all the things you’ve been quietly praying for. I hope something changes for you this month. I hope something finally says yes.

And maybe it won’t be perfect. Maybe things will still feel messy and uncertain at times. But even then, I hope you keep going. I hope you don’t let the waiting convince you that nothing is happening. Because something always is, even when it’s not visible yet. Even when it feels like you’re stuck.

I’m starting to understand that life doesn’t always move in clear, predictable lines. Sometimes it circles back. Sometimes it pauses. Sometimes it surprises you in ways you didn’t prepare for. And maybe that’s where the beauty is, in not fully knowing, in still choosing to believe anyway.

So here we are, in the middle of May. Carrying both our past doubts and our present hopes. Trying to make sense of everything while still moving forward. It’s not always easy, but it’s something. And sometimes, something is enough to keep going.

Since it’s May, may everything work out for us. In ways we expect, and in ways we don’t. In simple answers and unexpected turns. In small steps and bigger changes. I hope we find ourselves somewhere better, somewhere softer, somewhere that feels like we can finally breathe.

And if things take a little longer, that’s okay too. We’ve made it this far. We’ve kept going even when it felt heavy. That has to mean something. That has to count for something.

So I’ll keep this prayer close. I’ll carry it into the rest of the days ahead. Since it’s May, may everything work out for us.

[embed]happy birthday mom love you alwaysmedium.com

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