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When My Body Did What It Was Designed to Do

My birth experiences shaped my path as a doula — and taught me more than any textbook could.

Back when I had my oldest son, birth plans weren’t really a thing. I didn’t walk in with a typed-out list, but I did know what I wanted and what I didn’t. I believed I would be supported in those choices.

Instead, I was met with discouragement almost immediately — especially when I said I didn’t want an epidural. 😔

The nurses laughed. They told me I’d need one. 😤

Thankfully, my grandma was with me. 👵🏼 She was one of the best advocates I could’ve had — steady, protective, and unwilling to let anyone pressure me into something I didn’t want. Even with her there, though, I still ended up getting Pitocin against my wishes, and I felt constant pressure to hurry up and have the baby or agree to a C-section.

I truly believed I could do it without an epidural. 💪

What I didn’t realize at the time was that this experience would start a chain reaction. With my next three births, I relied on epidurals. I got to a point where I didn’t think I could give birth without one.

The Night No One Grounded Me

I remember my third son so clearly.

I was fully dilated, and I refused to push unless I got an epidural. The doctor agreed and called the anesthesiologist. When he came in, he was visibly angry about being called in the middle of the night. Instead of the usual calm process — sitting up, supported, and guided — he roughly turned me onto my side and pushed me down. He made my husband leave the room, even though he had always been the one to support me through the procedure. 💔

Looking back, I shouldn’t have even been given an epidural at that point. I was fully dilated. The doctor could have told me no. She could have reassured me that my baby was coming whether I pushed or not.

But in that moment, no one grounded me. They just followed through.

Then Came My Fifth Son 👶

I had planned to be induced, but the induction hadn’t even started yet. When I told the nurse I was in labor and wanted an epidural, she dismissed me and said I was being dramatic. No one believed how far along I actually was.

And then, just like that — my body took over. ✨

With no nurse and no doctor in the room, I birthed my son. The fetal ejection reflex kicked in, and my body did exactly what it was designed to do — without intervention and without an epidural.

That moment changed everything for me. 🌟

For the first time, I experienced how quickly the intensity shifts once the baby is born. I realized I didn’t need an epidural to do this. I realized how much of my previous fear had been shaped by my experiences — not by my body’s actual ability.

That birth opened my eyes. 👁️

Why I’m Sharing This

That experience is a big part of what brought me here — on this path as a doula and student midwife. 🫶

My experiences — the good and the hard — shaped my passion to support women differently. To help them feel informed, respected, and truly heard.

Because every woman deserves to walk into her birth feeling like she has a choice. And every woman deserves someone in her corner who actually believes her.

Understanding Epidurals: Benefits and Risks 💉

I’m not here to tell you what to choose. I’m here to make sure you have the information to choose for yourself.

✅ Potential Benefits

• 😮‍💨 Effective pain relief — Epidurals are considered the most effective form of labor pain management.
• 😴 Rest during long labor — Can help conserve energy, especially in prolonged labors.
• 🧘 Reduced stress and anxiety — For some, pain relief creates a calmer birth experience.
• 🏥 Helpful in certain medical situations — May be beneficial if complications arise or a C-section becomes necessary.

⚠️ Potential Risks

• 🚶‍♀️ Limited mobility — Most women cannot walk or move freely after receiving one.
• ⏳ Longer labor — Especially the pushing stage, in some cases.
• 📈 Increased likelihood of interventions — Including forceps, vacuum delivery, or additional medications like Pitocin.
• 📉 Drop in blood pressure — Which can affect both mother and baby and may require treatment.
• 😕 Incomplete or uneven relief — Sometimes epidurals don’t work fully or need adjustment.
• 🚨 Rare but serious risks — Including spinal headaches, nerve damage, or infection.

📚 Want to Learn More?

Here are some trusted, evidence-based resources:

• 🔗 American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists
• 🔗 Mayo Clinic
• 🔗 Cleveland Clinic
• 🔗 National Institutes of Health

Are you pregnant or preparing for birth? Drop a comment below — I’d love to hear where you are in your journey. 💬