The Symphony of Smiles: G-Day Orchestra, an ode to myself

I was standing among the masses while receiving my degree, and I found a very spectacular sight to lose myself in, and at the same time, I found a lot of things to watch, live, and breathe in rather than capture, but at the same time, I was comparing my own self to other people’s smiles, bantering, and making their moments mustering for their future oldies mesmerizing while scrolling through folder’s of memories.

What I learned at the time and what I lost are both worth writing about, and I feel like I was betraying myself for things that I did not have; so, I was someone else at the time for adultery. People wear covers for special occasions, gatherings, and festivals in order to lose their identities and make others feel comfortable; I was there with the same goals and held myself with multiple masks. But the outcome was the same as I expected: I will be unpleasant at home when I get there (because I am unemployed and have plenty of time to ponder).

The positive aspect was that I spoke very little but had some effective masculine conversation with my buddies, who had a good awareness of what was going on in town. And I discovered that if I remain silent for the rest of my life, the film would be about them rather than me; so, I chose to direct rather than act in my own film, and the best part is that I want to write and nothing else in good spirits and have some effective words with my name.

The beauty was seeing lives while living one’s own with less spirit and passion and lacking the intensity that one should have to live an everyday life that phases away one’s uniqueness. While writing this, I have nothing to compare it to, but when I was there, by God, I was jealous of everyone who was having pleasure, joy, and moments of their lives.

No one can articulate reality; therefore, if someone tells you about reality or your life, you should not focus on them but rather have experience, live, and breathe in so you can taste your own and sense where you start again if you fail. I went there with expectations and failed cruelly, and I recognize that I should not have gone there with only feelings and no means to stand there among the hectic cacophony with my own identity.

I looked for serenity among them and found nothing but inquiries and responses that I did not want to have; the reality was out of my league there, so I went after it with a preoccupied, distorted vision of it, and I found what I deserved there. With numerous ambiguities, I forced myself to agree on one thing: I should be out of my life frame so that I might alter things that do not belong to me but that I want.(end)

I try to articulate what I feel there, and I hope you find some confusion within and hold no firm opinion about me. It is a journey of writing words and finding the fine tone so we could join ourselves in our next attempt and be closer to each other, and I can flow with my intrusive thoughts with some articulation and well-chosen sentences. If you disagree with me here, please be open and share your opinion with me; I am just trying.