DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE THIS TABLE

Mandatory, Unskippable HR Video Adult Equivalent of “No Leaving the Table Until You Finish Your Dinner”

I’m gonna need you to lick that plate clean…

UNACCEPTABLE. INSULTING, EVEN! Photo by Alex Stone on Unsplash

Employees across the country have this week been reminded that personal autonomy officially ends the moment a mandatory HR training video begins.

Staff confirmed they were unable to skip ahead, increase playback speed, or demonstrate prior knowledge, and were instead required to sit silently through the entire video “like a child staring down a plate of cold vegetables.” figuratively glued to their seat.

Despite having completed the same training annually since 2014, workers were reportedly informed that completion would only be recognized once the final slide faded out and the system noted their full eager participation.

Multiple employees noted the policy stood in stark contrast to most adult video watching experiences, where once you’re done, you’re generally allowed to stop.

At time of print, most employees still appeared to be chewing.