All I Want is Enough Humble Pie

The recipe is: Be not too humble nor never humble, and add a sprinkle of “humbled” only when needed

Sunny pie Photo by Jovan Vasiljević on Unsplash

Humility is the ability to recognize your own value without needing to diminish others.

What is humility?

Humility is the virtue of having an accurate, modest view of oneself, while respecting the abilities and needs of others. It is also characterized by a lack of arrogance and a willingness to learn, and by appreciating things.

Nobody is perfect, but if you are humble most of the time, you have room to grow and to allow. Rather than rest on your laurels or focus on how great you are (compared to others), you’re open to other people’s thoughts and to new ideas.

Here are some of the least talked about facets of humility.

• Humility is the honest recognition that what we do not know will always outweigh what we know.
• Humility realizes that at the heart of every person are experiences and thoughts that we will never know. Thus, we should not lightly criticize others.
• Humility is recognizing that everything we have is a gift. We did not come into existence through any act of our own. Therefore, we should appreciate each other and not take people and things for granted.
• Humility is about not holding power and status over others. This means not forcing people to do what you want. It’s about listening to and respecting others.

Neither be too humble, nor assume you’re humble

On the other hand, if you’ve been through challenges in your earlier life, trauma may have left you feeling unworthy or not good enough.

I had to learn not to be too humble! There is such a thing. When people were pleased with things I’d done, I would shrug and look embarrassed. I was used to discounting my achievements, because challenges had made me feel not worthwhile or not good enough.

For decades, I had a low opinion of myself. I sometimes thought that I was just being humble. But at times, I was insecure, rather than humble.

To differentiate between the two, ask yourself if you can, easily and with joy, list your achievements without doubting their worth or usefulness.

If you are not 100% confident that you’ve accomplished things, it could be because trauma has made you doubt yourself.

If you think that feeling happy about what you’ve done, or letting others know about your positive deeds, will be bragging, it will be more a case of low self-esteem if your achievements are authentic. Challenges in your life have led you down the path of not honoring, let alone acknowledging and relishing, what you’ve done as an amazing human being.

When I realized my accomplishments, including overcoming many challenges in my life, I felt proud of myself. Pride is often frowned upon. But in the right measure, it is helpful.

If you are rightfully proud of something extraordinary that you’ve achieved, that is normal. However, if you’re always proud of every little thing that you do in terms of feeling that you’re always better than someone else, that is an inflated ego, i.e., conceit or arrogance, not pride.

Neither never be humble nor be too humble

You may be better than someone else at something, but that other person is probably better at something else than what you are.

Humility or being humble means appreciating your gifts & letting others share theirs. Carelessness leads to downfall, and arrogance can lead to carelessness.

I try to watch my thoughts and my actions from a distance. I attempt to evaluate whether I’m acting out of pride or desperation, or from anger, frustration, or guilt. Knowing yourself is an excellent way to refine what you do and think based on what you know.

Neither never be humble nor be too humble.

Humility is not about hiding your talents and achievements. Humility is about how you share things and express yourself. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and different experiences from us. It’s okay to feel good and happy about your achievements.

It’s when you read things the wrong way or make a judgment without the facts (when you could withhold judging at all), and you think that you know better than someone else or you think wrongly about someone, that you’re not eating humble pie.

It’s when you tell others, and think about how great you are with your achievements, and you expect accolades in return, that your plate of humble pie is empty.

Less telling and more listening with “two ears and one mouth” may help you navigate healthier or happier relationships. Pause before speaking or writing. Tune into your feelings and ask yourself what they are based upon.

If some event made you feel unhappy, take some deep breaths, close your eyes, or walk away before responding. Impulsive reactions may be defensive actions. Your perspective, disguised as a fact, may be wrong, but it makes you feel secure. It may be false security, based upon assumption or misreading, rather than on fact.

Humble people

There are numerous humble people on this Earth whom you don’t know and never will. They don’t “blow their own trumpet,” yet they help progress humanity or care for the Earth monumentally. Some you will know, yet still, they are humble.

Take David Attenborough, whom I met once, for example. He is humble, even today at 100 years old. When praised for his groundbreaking work, Attenborough quickly shifts the spotlight to his crew. David’s ethos revolves around the idea that the wild speaks for itself, and human beings simply try to capture nature as it is.

Humbleness is not just about never boasting or bragging. It’s a way of life, a path of respect for others. It’s a genuine connection. Rather than thinking about what you think or want to say when someone “speaks” to you, a humble approach is anchored upon understanding what that someone is conveying.

Humbleness is about teamwork and all being an integral part of a network or collective. I have sometimes had an inflated ego, believing that I am 100% right about something and saying so. Then I’ve found out that it was wrong or there were variations.

If you catch yourself not being humble one day, you can make a course correction. The experience has taught you not to be quite so boastful the next time or with other things. I know that I’m a patient person, and I think that a humble person is patient. They know that there’s more that all of us don’t know than what we do know. This gives them the perspective to allow a multitude of thoughts and ideas.

I think that the online world is rife with examples of non-humility, though they may be small and harmless. Sometimes there is a fine line between being humble and being arrogant. But the person who is experiencing one of these will know which one it is.

It might be easy to be non-humble in the virtual world, where you’re distanced from people, with printed or visual words, and with no nuances clearly coming through from the parties involved. Stepping back and taking your time to be humble might be the harder path, but it’s worthwhile. Respect leads to positive connections.

Being humble doesn’t mean you can’t be awesome or well-liked, even admired. At the micro-level, I sometimes catch myself feeling superior, and it is then that I back up, realizing that I’m not being humble. It’s easy once you step on the boat of superiority, not to get off it. So, I distance myself from myself and try to balance riding the waves moment to moment.

A kinder world

If I judge someone as not being humble, I know that I’m being judgmental. Hopefully, my understanding of humility is sound. I like to think that more people could serve more humble pie. The world may be kinder if so.

When you do something to support others, without expectation of reward or reciprocity, you are being humble. Someone may say that they admire something about you and that you are humble. Is humility in the eye of the beholder, though? Just because you don’t talk yourself up about what you do, doesn’t automatically make you humble.

Your decisions based upon your choices make you humble. When you don’t boast about how great or clever you are, you’re being humble. But this doesn’t mean not claiming your skills or wisdom, in the right place at the right time.

Humbled

Humble is different from being humbled. You might feel humbled or “put in your place” when you compare yourself to someone you think is better than you. But this is not humility. It’s self-doubt and lower self-esteem from going down the comparison route.

“I [humbly] accept your opinion because I see the truth in it,” is different from “I [humbly] accept your opinion, your Majesty, because you’re so much better than I.”

If you are being humbled, ask yourself, do you feel a lack of power, ability, or skills? I think that genuinely feeling humbled is feeling humility at the way that the Cosmos works.

I am always appreciative of my blessings, no matter how hard things are. I am happy that I have “gifts,” such as a working human body, good air that I can breathe, and enough food and water.

The Cambridge Dictionary says:

Being “humbled” means experiencing a moment that makes you feel smaller, chastened, or deeply grateful.

In my case, it’s when I am deeply grateful. 💛

Be not too humble nor never humble, and add a sprinkle of “humbled” only when needed. Humble pie makes our journey on Spaceship Earth more satisfying!

The true way to be humble is not to stoop until you are smaller than yourself, but to stand at your real height against some higher nature that will show you what the real smallness of your greatness is.

Phillips Brooks