The cost of my laxness, oversight, and inattention: appraisal and recovery.

Photo by Edgar Chaparro on Unsplash

We surely pay the price for bad habits when we age.

Overall, life starts with traditions, patterns, opinions, myths, social acceptance and group behaviours, where we are born and start to grow.

Last week, I thought it was time to reckon what I missed in my earlier times, how much l made things non-recoverable and what was partially or largely compensated.

Probably, it happens with the majority of us, and many have done well to improve themselves and be a better version, leaving no wide gap.

I assess that I am behind because of my inattention, failure to regulate, being unmethodical and boxing myself in theories in my early stages of life.

Information in this piece is possibly beneficial to youth who are busy shaping their lives and also to seniors who yearn to age with a sense of satisfaction.

Individuals In between will also find some clues towards self-caring and better living.

Truly, there are numerous factors involving phase transition for humans.

Only humans can transform. Other creatures might be envying.

Transformations are not happening with age. They are shaped over time.

So the role of attention, efforts and adjustments is paramount.

But some factors need more attention from the beginning ( say 12 years onward).

Considering salient features of my childhood to adulthood, the factors influencing my life explicitly in hard ways can be summarized as under:

# Health

Health comes first for any sane individual. I was cautioned about many things from time to time, like getting hydrated, maintaining hygiene, a balanced diet, taking meals on time, teeth care, the essentiality of outdoor playing and many more.

Some practised, many ignored.

A few illustrations

Getting hydrated was not my priority during busy schedules, and taking lunch packs in a 9 to 6 span was not a routine.

I was least interested in outdoor games.

More involved in indoor games, getting nothing in return like physical fitness, new mental frame or sense of togetherness.

It seems I have caused health issues on many counts because of such negligence.

So, paying the price in the 50s onwards.

# Virtues to change mindsets

I was taught about patience, gratitude, forgiveness, tolerance, regard and courage in many textbooks, but these learnings were confined to passing the periodical exams.

Honestly, they were simply chapters of the syllabus to read and answer. The sense of their application was beyond grasp at that time.

In real-life situations, we came to practice them bit by bit and gauged how they helped solve my recurring problems.

In my 40s onwards, I started practising gratitude vigorously, which gave me the strength to see the positive aspects in all situations, which are ignored easily by the crowds.

Sufficiently late, I could realize the power of forgiveness. It helped me regain freedom from futile baggage.

# Unlearning

Till post-graduation, I learned to learn math, science, history, biology, agriculture, social structures, economics and so on.

In practical life (the mid-20s), I felt the urgency to unlearn many odds in my habits or routines, theories, concepts or formulas that were slowing down my growth and forwardness.

Unlearning is practically more time-consuming than learning. It is like removing rust from iron plates after years.

# Laçk of focus

Focus is a great life skill. It is learned.

I remember, in the school era, it was a distraction that took maximum space in my many engagements, particularly reading books at night.

People asked to concentrate, but in all situations, " how" was almost missing.

# Absense of consistency

Well before my 20s, I found myself ready with practical books, being part of yearly exams. The pressure on colleagues waiting to get it done when the time was expiring had shown me the value of consistency.

Here, I was never a defaulter.

Updating notes as and when practical classes happen gave me a lot of easiness apart from time to get ready for other subjects.

It is also a fact that I was active in preparation only when final exams were a month away.

Vacations were never used to make preparations in advance.

# Not learning new languages

I got the opportunity to learn new languages ( at least for conversation), but I missed it without any realization.

I thought knowing three languages was enough.

Two languages were possible to add with little effort, but I did nothing.

The value of communicating in local languages did not strike my mind when the opportunity was in my hands.

# Ignoring the value of Investments

Saving and investment are the means to keep money flowing to meet all essentials even after mainstream income closes.

I was under the impression that saving comes only after all necessities are met when regular income( fixed) is in the flow.

It took me decades to understand that first come Saving ( say, the smallest 5% or 10% of income), and then I have to adjust my monthly expenses.

A devastating error.

# Power of affirmation

Grossly unaware of the power of affirmations. Excuses were the easiest way to escape the route of possibilities.

The universe never gives us challenges that are more than our capabilities. It is a function of belief systems. Even then I was half-hearted in many instances.

My mind was fully deprived of this software during my span of adolescence.

# Getting instantly panicked in setbacks

In the very late stage, I came to understand that pain is just a messenger.

Further adversities are not enemies but create fresh grounds to construct something better in our lives.

I am still getting disturbed when something goes wrong but anyhow, I am recovering without staying long in sadness or down times.

# Judgemental for everything

Like many others, I was judgemental of everything- leading to many other questions and conflicts.

The idea was to exert my mind on others. It was definitely the wrong way to impress others.

There was no active listening.

I used to talk to win, not to understand.

Very late, I could understand that it is absurd to be judgemental when stories are still opaque.

Being judgemental is not merit. Be a solution provider to attract people.

WRAPPING IT UP:

● No full remedies. No full redemption.

More efforts to fill up the blanks.

Nevertheless, the gaps persist.

The gist: Get going.

● In the early days, there is a craze for career, employment, something remunerative, and to stand out in a chosen field.

People get exhausted in the process, irrespective of the paths chosen.

It is only in the age going down from peak ( at least physically) that realisations come about what was better than what has been done.

The gist: living in the moment, for every hour, every day.

● Habits matter; routines matter, behaviors are obvious.

It is shaping or deforming our lives without any brake.

If you start paying attention to the formation of good habits, you will appreciate yourself in the days ahead profoundly for your small but consistent habits of today.

The gist: Replace bad habits and start practising helpful habits instantly.

● Every pattern of life is asking us to go deeper and realize the realities.

Status: Critical thinking is always rewarding.

● People are not deprived of abilities. They are reluctant to know what they may become

The gist: Affirm every day you can do it. But start today.

LAST WORDS

No regret for anything, when we are alive to do the best.